scrgrl is offline scrgrl Post #1  August 26,2009, 2:34pm
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My boyfriend of almost a year broke my heart recently. I thought we had a great relationship and were very open and honest with eachother and when we had an issue we would talk through it. I was the most content and happy I've ever been, then he broke it off and said he needed time to think about who he is and what he wants in a relationship. I am giving him his time, but it's hard. Does anyone have advice on getting over a broken heart and being patient? What about any good books to read during this time? Should I just move on and quit thinking about it?
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  August 26,2009, 10:18pm
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scrgrl wrote :
My boyfriend of almost a year broke my heart recently. I thought we had a great relationship and were very open and honest with eachother and when we had an issue we would talk through it. I was the most content and happy I've ever been, then he broke it off and said he needed time to think about who he is and what he wants in a relationship. I am giving him his time, but it's hard. Does anyone have advice on getting over a broken heart and being patient? What about any good books to read during this time? Should I just move on and quit thinking about it?
you dont say your ages or how long you have been apart, but a lot of the answer to this would depend on the circumstances.

it could be his way of breaking up with you. i am of the opinion that guys really dont need time for this stuff. they know. they may not be very good at communicating it but i think most guys have clarity on who they do and do not want to be with.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #3  August 27,2009, 8:01am
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It really depends on how young the two of you are.

Sometimes, in order for a relationship to grow, you have to explore and let go. Otherwise, it can get stagnant, especially for younger people who have less experience to draw from. You gain perspective without being, and i hate to use this term, chained down.
 
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lam100780 is offline lam100780 Post #4  August 27,2009, 8:16am
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I have found the book "He's Just Not That into You" to be helpful in these situations. You deserve better. Good luck.
 
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nicegirl777 is offline nicegirl777 Post #5  August 27,2009, 8:26am
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Sorry this happened to you. It really is hard because you get so involved with someone and their life. It hurts emotionally and even physically sometimes. You feel let down and so hurt. I am going through this now. I have decided to put time into hobbies that I find important and meaningful and rebuild my life in another direction. I love music so am going back to pick up the instrument I used to play and get back involved in music, learning new things, working with other musicians, just for fun. This is turn will introduce me to new people, etc,etc. I also went back to the gym and get really in shape again. I let myself go a little once I got comfy in the relationship. This is good for the mind and body. When you are stressed and angry an aerobics or kick box class really gets it out of you! So, it does hurt, but you have to move on. Go ahead, join a gym, take a class just do what will make you happy and move forward! Good luck!
 
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olneyjeeps is offline olneyjeeps Post #6  August 27,2009, 9:36am
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I'm sorry that all the responses are so negative (might be why some people are so single- they only see the negative). As some have pointed out, far to little information to make any kind of reasoned assertion.

As a guy (rather emotionally open one at that), I would seriously consider the possibility that he is so deeply in love with you (more than he has been with anyone else) that he is being overwhelmed with his own emotions and needs to step back / clear his head so he can be sure that he is making a good / the right decision. Because I was hurt so bad in my last relationship (was not of clear mind and did not make anything resembling a well thought out decision), I see myself as making such a "step back" before I make any big commitments again.

As per my theme: communicate communicate communicate!!! He may have failed to communicate, but it is not a reason for you to (fail). If you feel that strongly about him, go after him, tell him how you feel and that you are there for him.

In the end we are faced with to lists:
what we regret doing
what we regret not doing

so far, which list is longer for you?
which is more painful?

Look for bad and that is all you will see
Look for good/love and you will find it is all around you
Last edited by olneyjeeps; August 27,2009 at 10:08am.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #7  August 27,2009, 6:03pm
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Olney, that's too complicated.

He's just not that into her.
 
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1passionatefem is offline 1passionatefem Post #8  August 28,2009, 10:43am
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olney-I disagree with you. If a man just needed tiime to think about things he would share just that and not end the relationship. Ending the relationship, before taking the time to think about it is a big red flag. Ending is permanent.
 
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