elgeo is offline elgeo Post #1  August 26,2009, 9:53am
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One of the hardest things for me is knowing when to expose the fact that I have been married and divorced 3 times. If I do it too early, it scares my matches away, and If I do it too late, they think I've misled them. What would you suggest?
ELGEO
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #2  August 26,2009, 12:21pm
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Depending on if your age is 30 or 60
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #3  August 26,2009, 12:36pm
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Are one or both of the two gals in your avitar your ex wifes? If so then I have no sympathy for you brother!

Seriously, in this day and age, it's not that big of a deal. It does probably say something about your decision making. I reveal it during the dating/getting to know you process and NOT after you've gotten into a legitimate relationship with that person. It's important enough to be a red flag/deciding factor and you should as early as possible.
Nothing truthful should ever be thought of as "scaring" them away! They don't get scared, they get information and use it for their decision. Be upfront.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #4  August 26,2009, 12:55pm
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Uhhh... if you include photos like the one you have as your avatar, that's going to be a major turnoff for most women, too.

I assume from the date of your college graduation that you are in your mid-50s. It will likely come up early that you've been divorced. You don't need to emphasize the number or recount the whole history of your failed marriages, but do be honest about it (and don't be coy). It certainly will put off some women, but there is no going back and changing your life history at this point, so that is just something that you have to live with. More importantly, what have you learned from your marriages, and how have you worked to become a better man and potential partner? Although you can't change the past, you can learn from it, so that is probably what I would emphasize if I were you.
 
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lindseyk is offline lindseyk Post #5  August 26,2009, 1:16pm
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I have to agree with the others who have mentioned that the girls in your avatar are rather off-putting. That picture doesn't give the best impression.

With regard to your situation, I really don't know what the proper timeline would be, but by all means, be honest and don't wait too long. The right woman will understand, though there will likely be some who just don't feel comfortable with it, for whatever reason.

Best of luck.
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #6  August 26,2009, 5:12pm
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A bomb is still a bomb...it doesn't matter when it explodes.

Look for a thrice divorced woman maybe ?
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #7  August 26,2009, 5:28pm
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lindseyk wrote :
I have to agree with the others who have mentioned that the girls in your avatar are rather off-putting. That picture doesn't give the best impression.

With regard to your situation, I really don't know what the proper timeline would be, but by all means, be honest and don't wait too long. The right woman will understand, though there will likely be some who just don't feel comfortable with it, for whatever reason.

Best of luck.
To be clear Lindsey, I was complementing-not complaining about his avatar!
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #8  August 26,2009, 6:29pm
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Simple. Tell them when you talk about baggage and the heavy stuff... i.e. relationship stuff. If you're not at that point in your relationship, no need to tell them.
 
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lindseyk is offline lindseyk Post #9  August 26,2009, 7:40pm
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boccabum wrote :
To be clear Lindsey, I was complementing-not complaining about his avatar!
lol

I should have specified - off-putting to women.
 
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simplemind is offline simplemind Post #10  August 26,2009, 8:00pm
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elgeo wrote :
One of the hardest things for me is knowing when to expose the fact that I have been married and divorced 3 times. If I do it too early, it scares my matches away, and If I do it too late, they think I've misled them. What would you suggest?
ELGEO
Depends on what you're looking for in online dating.

If you want a good time, keep the avatar, tell them nothing, and have a good time whilst emphasizing that is all you're looking for.
A woman who finds that avatar appealing isn't going to care all that much for how many times you've been married. She may wish to do a wallet biopsy, though.
 
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