Qncbw is offline Qncbw Post #1  August 25,2009, 8:01pm
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I don't understand this friends with benefit you men are asking us women to have it not right or fiar to us. I met a man and he ask for my number so I gave it to him we talked for few days and saw each other a couple of times then I get his text message saying he doesn't wna to hurt me just friends with benefits is all he wants.

Why is you have to have sex instead of getting to know us and what we are bout and learn about you , to have a real commenitment?

SO mad and sad are there not any nice men or gentlemen out there that would like to date nice lady and get to know her and see if there is a future .
 
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audly is offline audly Post #2  August 26,2009, 6:49am
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I have a different perspective on this: He is being honest with you. In the past, I think it was assumed women will not have sex with a man until they are in a relationship, so men would play along, date her, do all the things it takes for her to feel they are committed, including saying so, and then they would have sex, and he would start to date other women and either dump her or keep her on the side.

Nowadays, women are claiming their right to enjoy sex for the sake of it.... friends with benefits can be a safe way for women to have those needs met when they are not committed to a man, and it has the comfort factor of it having SOME emotional connection on the friendship level (ie: not nameless one night stands).

BUT, not all women are able to keep their emotional needs separate from the sexual intimacy. If you know that that's not what you're looking for, and that you want more, then you're right not to get involved that way with a friend, because it will be the end of the friendship in no time. But I don't think you should judge the man for putting that out there... he is saying he doesn't see this being a relationship but that if you're open to it, you could enjoy each other in that way. If you're not, say so, thank him for being honest, and move on to find a man who IS looking for a relationship. They are out there.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  August 26,2009, 6:54am
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Qncbw wrote :
SO mad and sad are there not any nice men or gentlemen out there that would like to date nice lady and get to know her and see if there is a future .
yes there are

hey you have to give this guy credit for being honest with you!
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #4  August 26,2009, 7:08am
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Count your lucky stars that he was honest about it from the start and not just stringing you along for a while until he felt like leaving you. You would have been left feeling used by someone you may have hoped was the man to share your future with.
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #5  August 27,2009, 3:13am
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I'm curious, what part of "get to know me" does your avatar - a woman (you?) in nothing more than a shirt - say?

I am absolutely not a prude, but I see a lot of this online ...women who post very provacative photos of themselves either scantily clad, posing to expose/enhance cleavage, lying on a bed, etc ...then put in their profiles "I'm not looking for just sex" and, ironically, "I'm not into games".

I'm just saying, perhaps you would find those "nice men or gentlemen" once you start portraying yourself as someone looking for and interested in a serious relationship. Men are pigs, I'll be the first to admit that, but you can't blame a pig for being a pig if you are dangling an ear of corn in front of his face.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #6  August 27,2009, 5:28am
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BikerBeagle wrote :
I'm curious, what part of "get to know me" does your avatar - a woman (you?) in nothing more than a shirt - say?

I am absolutely not a prude, but I see a lot of this online ...women who post very provacative photos of themselves either scantily clad, posing to expose/enhance cleavage, lying on a bed, etc ...then put in their profiles "I'm not looking for just sex" and, ironically, "I'm not into games".

I'm just saying, perhaps you would find those "nice men or gentlemen" once you start portraying yourself as someone looking for and interested in a serious relationship. Men are pigs, I'll be the first to admit that, but you can't blame a pig for being a pig if you are dangling an ear of corn in front of his face.
I have to say, I thought the same thing when I looked at that photo.

To the OP-
you're sure you aren't sending out mixed signals??
 
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TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #7  August 27,2009, 6:37am
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BikerBeagle wrote :
I'm curious, what part of "get to know me" does your avatar - a woman (you?) in nothing more than a shirt - say?

I am absolutely not a prude, but I see a lot of this online ...women who post very provacative photos of themselves either scantily clad, posing to expose/enhance cleavage, lying on a bed, etc ...then put in their profiles "I'm not looking for just sex" and, ironically, "I'm not into games".

I'm just saying, perhaps you would find those "nice men or gentlemen" once you start portraying yourself as someone looking for and interested in a serious relationship. Men are pigs, I'll be the first to admit that, but you can't blame a pig for being a pig if you are dangling an ear of corn in front of his face.
I'm a female and I must say I thought the same thing...sorry...
BTW - from your pic your face looks very beautiful....
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #8  August 27,2009, 6:53am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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audly wrote :
Nowadays, women are claiming their right to enjoy sex for the sake of it.... friends with benefits can be a safe way for women to have those needs met when they are not committed to a man, and it has the comfort factor of it having SOME emotional connection on the friendship level (ie: not nameless one night stands).
That sounds nice in theory....but almost never works out that way. Women may say they don't want any 'strings'....but they will almost always develop them after being FWB for a while.
 
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TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #9  August 27,2009, 7:57am
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jayjay wrote :
That sounds nice in theory....but almost never works out that way. Women may say they don't want any 'strings'....but they will almost always develop them after being FWB for a while.
I agree. It's the "friend" thing. I guess if you're just having sex with some random person there is no emotional attachment. But when you are having sex with someone who is your friend, someone you care about, and you communicate on other levels that have nothing to do with sex - that can be a dangerous combination.
 
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spoiledgirl is offline spoiledgirl Post #10  August 27,2009, 8:42am
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I am 100% agree with you....the body lenguage express more about yourself than thousands of words...
 
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