should i sleep on the same bed as my boy friend and his ex wife slept on.


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miji is offline miji Post #1  August 25,2009, 9:57am
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i have met my boy friend for 5 months, and slept together for 4 months, and i just recently know that the bed we sleep together is the one he slept with his ex wife a year ago. i am not that comfortable with it, and he said he is going to change it, and i will need to the half. What should i do ? i need help !!!!!!!
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #2  August 25,2009, 10:50am
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miji wrote :
i have met my boy friend for 5 months, and slept together for 4 months, and i just recently know that the bed we sleep together is the one he slept with his ex wife a year ago. i am not that comfortable with it, and he said he is going to change it, and i will need to the half. What should i do ? i need help !!!!!!!
I'm trying to figure out what you're saying but here goes...
You've been asked to pay half of the new mattress because your the one who feels strange sleeping with him on it knowing the ex slept on it before? is that correct?

Well, as you know mattresses aren't cheap. A good one can cost $800-$1000, (I spent $2K on mine)so how old is the one you want replaced?
Did he buy it last year? ten years ago?

It's obvious you're not going to feel comfortable keeping the old one, so it's not unreasonable to ask him to replace it, but, it is YOUR request..not his.
You may have to ante up if you're the one pushing the issue.

Also, you're not married. let's say you split up...who gets to keep it?
That's something to consider also.

PS- I assume you paid half to replace the toilet seat, also??...
Last edited by TheThinker; August 25,2009 at 11:07am.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #3  August 25,2009, 11:14am
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You've already been sleeping on the bed for 4 months and now you want to change it...lol? It seems a little late at this point. What matters is who is sleeping on his bed now, and that is you.

It's just not reasonable to expect that someone get a new mattress whenever they change partners. A good mattress is very expensive and designed to last for many, many years -- not to be a disposable item.

I could see making this kind of demand if you were married to him and he then had an affair with someone in your bed -- in that case, the mattress would have been defiled by his infidelity. But, that's not the case here; you are simply his next partner and for now the bed is one that the two of you are sharing.

Are there some other reasons/problems in the relationship, perhaps, that this is bothering you? That you are focusing on this as an issue?
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #4  August 25,2009, 11:28am
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I'm wondering the same thing as Neardc - what is really bothering you in this relationship? Of course there were others before you who shared this guy's bed. All of a sudden after 4 months of sleeping in it you decide that it bothers you? That is really strange on your part.

It makes sense that he wants you to pay for at least half the cost of the replacement mattress - after all it's your very strange issue with it and not his.
 
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churumbeque is offline churumbeque Post #5  August 25,2009, 11:40am
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You must be very young. An older confident person wouldn't care and accept that it is a part of life unless of course somebody died in the bed than I wouln't sleep on it.
Last edited by churumbeque; August 25,2009 at 11:41am. Reason: spelling error
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #6  August 25,2009, 1:32pm
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Wow, Now I've heard everything.
Yes. You have two choices: help this guy pay for a mattress that's perfectly fine and you're requiring him to change just because of your superstitions.
Or...
grow up.
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #7  August 25,2009, 1:46pm
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No, you're right. Best you sleep on the couch.
 
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jerzee is offline jerzee Post #8  August 25,2009, 6:03pm
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Yes, you do need help! What is really bothering you? I don't think its the mattress.
 
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beentherehavetee is offline beentherehavetee Post #9  August 25,2009, 6:15pm
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So, you've know this guy for 5 months, already you've been sleeping in his bed for 4, and now you want him to buy a new mattress because his ex-wife slept on it?

You can always sleep in your own bed; haven't you thought of that? Geesh!
 
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WYskywatcher is offline WYskywatcher Post #10  August 25,2009, 6:22pm
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TheThinker wrote :

PS- I assume you paid half to replace the toilet seat, also??...
lol!
 
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