Some advice would be appreciated.


View Poll Results: What do you think of meeting a guy in a Bar/Club?
Great place to meet other single people. 2 22.22%
Maybe, if it happens. 1 11.11%
It doesn't seem like a good place to meet a good guy. 3 33.33%
Bad news! 3 33.33%
Voters: 9. You may not vote on this poll

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Keura is offline Keura Post #1  August 23,2009, 8:17pm
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I met this guy one night at a club (I know, I know, bad place!).
Various times throughout the night I found him looking at me and at one point I was sitting across from him in a lounging area. We kept stealing glances at each other and he would quickly look away when I caught him looking at me. He also had about two girls on each side of him but his hands to himself and was clearly disinterested in any of the girls. So my friend thought the constant looks were enough so he went over to him and asked if he wanted to meet me. I grabbed my other friend's cell phone and pretended I had no idea what my friend was doing. He came over right away, really eagerly.

We talked for about 2 hours until the bar closed and over the course of our conversation he first wanted to give me his number, when I said I didn't have a cell phone he then asked for my number and I said sure but then the conversation continued. He then asked again and I said "Oh sure it's ...." and I actually gave it out, which he put on his phone. He also asked me out once and then specifically suggested a Tavern and made sure I knew where it was. It gets even worse. When we say goodbye as the lights are turned on and the club is closing we awkwardly try to say goodbye so I go for a half-hug and then he plants a kiss on my cheek.

He's a really cute, macho/shy guy and he was a firefighter, etc. the profile gets better from there. He also said his 'clubbing' days are long past and that he was there for his sister's going away party.

I, however, told him I was 18 and he was 24, and I think the age difference worried him and I told him I was just home for a school break (it was Christmas time) and that I would only be in town for one week before I had to go out of province again. (I told him all of this before he asked me out, suggested the Tavern, and got my number).

Now I'm back in town and my problem is that I can't stop thinking about him since I'm back and I hate that I found such a good quality guy and let him slip through my fingers. It's also worthwhile to note, I didn't come across as eager at all, adding him on facebook should be reassuring if he thought I was disinterested. I am really chill and laid-back and I usually am the one who forgets to call, doesn't return random guys calls, and I don't give out my number very often when guys ask for it. I also would hate to think he didn't call because he thought I was some immature eighteen year old before getting to know me.

He didn't call (as you could assume) and I tried the online way of trying to get in touch (who talks organically anymore anyways?). I added him on Facebook a month after we met, but it looks like he rarely goes on. However, he's been on since I added him and he hasn't added me OR ignored me. I sent a casual message saying, "Hey, I was just looking at my friends list and noticed I added you a while ago and it's pending, since it was ages ago, I was wondering, were you the guy from Christmas time at *( insert club name)*?". Now, he hasn't responded yet AND he hasn't ignored me. I mean he's added other people and has been on at least half a dozen times. If he didn't want to hear from me again, why wouldn't he just ignore my friend request and let me get the hint? Why leave the request? I sent the message because I thought maybe he had a ton of requests and he doesn't have time to go through them all. But what should I do now? He REALLY seemed to like me and seemed to want to make sure there would be a follow up date. Oh and he was the DD and I'm not 100% sure he heard my phone number correctly over the music. But still, wouldn't he add me on FB then? I mean I'm still otherwise dating but I really liked this guy and the guys asking me out right now aren't at all my type. That's why I wanted to know what my story looks like and what I should do.

PS. Sorry it's so long!
Last edited by Keura; August 23,2009 at 8:58pm.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #2  August 23,2009, 8:37pm
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He probably thought you were older than you are... especially since you met in a bar! I don't know where you are, but in most places the legal drinking age is 21, not 18, and you probably shouldn't have even been in that bar. Finding that out about you may have been a big turn-off right there and then.

He knows how to get a hold of you if he wants to. Since he hasn't, he apparently doesn't want to. You may never know the exact reason why. And though you may not believe it, the exact reason doesn't really matter... the end result is the same: He's just not that into you.

Just try to focus on guys closer to your age and try to quit obsessing on this one.
 
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Keura is offline Keura Post #3  August 23,2009, 8:42pm
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I`m from Canada and the provinces have different age limits. In my province it`s 18. I wasn`t sneaking around, I don`t even like clubs or bars. I was just with friends who wanted to go. haha I forgot the age limits vary dramatically in the US and some other provinces.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #4  August 23,2009, 9:06pm
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It was just bad timing OR perhaps the age difference.

If you had not gone away then something might have happened. Also, he probably assumes that you will be away for most of the year over the next few years. That would turn most people away from starting anything. It makes a whole lot more sense for him to be with someone that will be there.
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #5  August 23,2009, 9:16pm
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Obviously meeting someone in a bar/club works. It worked for you didn't it? It works for thousands of people a week-or else they really wouldn't exist.
But from your (long...sorry) story, I'd just forget about this guy. I know that for me, if someone first told me she didn't have a cell phone (yeah, right) then gave it to me later and then only tries to communicate via FaceBook, I'd get kind of annoyed.

"I also would hate to think he didn't call because he thought I was some immature eighteen year old before getting to know me."

No offense but you sort of did act like this according to your post. He probably has a few other gals in his sights and isn't interested in becoming an 18 year old gal's growing number of Face Book guy "friends".
 
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tommyboy047 is offline tommyboy047 Post #6  August 23,2009, 9:25pm
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Maybe he and his friends where trying to see how many number they would get, I heard that really happens. And if you try to contact him after, it's just another notch for him with the guys. Heck, what do I know, never done that and never will.
 
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Keura is offline Keura Post #7  August 23,2009, 10:15pm
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Sorry for yet another long story. You just have some good insights.
Last edited by Keura; August 23,2009 at 10:19pm.
 
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Keura is offline Keura Post #8  August 23,2009, 10:16pm
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boccabum wrote :
Obviously meeting someone in a bar/club works. It worked for you didn't it? It works for thousands of people a week-or else they really wouldn't exist.
But from your (long...sorry) story, I'd just forget about this guy. I know that for me, if someone first told me she didn't have a cell phone (yeah, right) then gave it to me later and then only tries to communicate via FaceBook, I'd get kind of annoyed.

"I also would hate to think he didn't call because he thought I was some immature eighteen year old before getting to know me."

No offense but you sort of did act like this according to your post. He probably has a few other gals in his sights and isn't interested in becoming an 18 year old gal's growing number of Face Book guy "friends".
Sorry, I tried to mention any relevent information. He first wanted to give me his number, I said I didn't have a cell to put it in or anything to write it down with. Instead, I offered to give him my home phone number. I was living in another province so a cell would be useless while I was in school until I returned to my province and signed up on a local plan.

He also thought I was 21 until the question of age was brought up. I'm pretty sure because it wasn't obvious that I was into him and I wasn't going on about shoes, hair, or some new diet. He didn't know I was eighteen until I mention it and when I did he didn't believe me and we continued talking for another hour. :S I think the age and my going away are probably it though. Thanks everyone for the posts. Going to friends you get the same stupid answers, "It'll happen" or "just wait till he replies". I still don't understand if he didn't want to be on some eighteen year old's friends list ... why wouldn't he ignore the request and get rid of my request off of his list? He hasn't ignored because it says pending. If he's annoyed or his mind made up ... why not delete me off his requests and I'll get the hint?
 
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Keura is offline Keura Post #9  August 23,2009, 10:24pm
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"Maybe he and his friends where trying to see how many number they would get, I heard that really happens. And if you try to contact him after, it's just another notch for him with the guys. Heck, what do I know, never done that and never will. "

Sorry still figuring out the system on eHarmoney here....

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Yeah, a friend thought that could be it too. He was just with girls though. To girls that would not be cool. :P He also 'seemed' really shy. By that I just mean, it took looking at each other all night and he didn't do anything. So my friend went over and asked if he's been looking at me, did he want to meet me? Does that still seem like he was just cruising the bar? Would a guy talk to a girl for two hours and waste his night if he was just trying to get a notch? (I only go to clubs forced now, so I'd like to be able to spot the major player types)
Last edited by Keura; August 23,2009 at 10:29pm.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #10  August 24,2009, 4:59am
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Keura wrote :
I still don't understand if he didn't want to be on some eighteen year old's friends list ... why wouldn't he ignore the request and get rid of my request off of his list? He hasn't ignored because it says pending. If he's annoyed or his mind made up ... why not delete me off his requests and I'll get the hint?
Either he doesn't want to hurt your feelings, or he's going to let it sit there until you turn 21, then you can be his friend.

Don't waste any more time worrying about it. There are other guys out there... really.
 
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