alittleindian42 is offline alittleindian42 Post #1  August 23,2009, 8:15pm
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I have been seeing a new person for about two months now. We have the most amazing time when we are together. Last night we had a heart to heart talk and he told me that he really wants a child within the next five years. I cannot have children and did tell him this up front before the first date. Now he tells me that he is not actively looking for another woman but if he turns over a rock and she is there to have his child and be with him that he would take it. And if I wanted to be willing to wait it out for five years to see if that happens then maybe we could have a chance at being together in a real relationship. Do I run now or do I keep seeing him? The problem is I really have feelings already for him. Please help, so confussed....
 
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SoNotRight is offline SoNotRight Post #2  August 24,2009, 1:38pm
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Are you trying to say that he basically "cut a deal" with you that if he can't find someone else to have a baby with in 5 years then he'll give up on the kid idea and settle for just you?

That's what I read into your post and I hope I'm wrong because that's just gross.

Tell him you're not going to waste 5 years investing yourself into a relationship just for him to break it off at year 4, day 364 because he met another chick who can bear children!

PS-Has he ever heard of a little thing called adoption?!
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #3  August 24,2009, 2:05pm
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alittleindian42 wrote :
And if I wanted to be willing to wait it out for five years to see if that happens then maybe we could have a chance at being together in a real relationship.
And you believe this...why?
wrote :
Do I run now
Yup.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #4  August 24,2009, 2:09pm
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Time to find someone new who you match with on the kids question, because if you don't, either you or him will regret it later on.
 
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jerzee is offline jerzee Post #5  August 24,2009, 2:18pm
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Run! Any guy that would say something like that is not worth your time.
 
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saltndlight is offline saltndlight Post #6  August 24,2009, 2:23pm
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I agree with other posts.Kids are a BIG decision concerning relationships so if you cannot agree on this, you better follow separate ways.Run yes...
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #7  August 24,2009, 4:23pm
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jerzee wrote :
Run! Any guy that would say something like that is not worth your time.
I agree. Even if not being able to bear children would be a dealbreaker for him (which we could all debate on a whole 'nother thread), that is just the most awful way for him to be thinking. He's basically saying he will keep you around as a backup plan in case he doesn't find someone else that will put up with him and bear his kids.

I would kick him to the curb and find someone with a functioning heart. This guy's is busted.
 
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TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #8  August 24,2009, 4:54pm
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[quote=alittleindian42;719506] Do I run now

AS FAST AS YOUR LITTLE LEGS WILL CARRY YOU!!!!
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #9  August 24,2009, 5:22pm
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NEVER make someone a priority who considers you as just an option!

Tell him you've decided to actively look for someone who doesn't want kids and is more compatible with your life goals.
 
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tommyboy047 is offline tommyboy047 Post #10  August 24,2009, 6:09pm
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Wow, just when you thought you heard everything!! Basically, "If I don't find anything better in the next 5 years then maybe we can have a real relationship" Got to give him credit for giving a time limit, LOL, NOT!!! Wow, RUN!!! This is one of the times that giving no notice is so right. I just can't believe this and I have to say it again, WOW!!!
 
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