crowdedstreets is offline crowdedstreets Post #1  August 21,2009, 8:29pm
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I've never had a girlfriend. For years now though, I've never had a hard time talking to girls or initiating a date if I'm interested. On two separate occurrences, I had taken a friendship to another level. We had gone out to dinner, hung out at my house, just the two of us, flirted a bit, but never kissed or did anything beyond that. After a few weeks of things going great and moving slowly, I was confronted and asked to "talk." Basically, both of them said that people were viewing us as a couple and didn't want to be more than just friends. The first time that happened, we stayed friends, but didn't really hang out anymore and the second and most recent occurrence, we stayed friends and are as close as close as any other friends we have. But these experiences have kinda brainwashed me to be much more hesitant when approaching girls. I have never been pushy or aggressive when it comes to making moves on girls, just starting slowly and seeing what happens. But before I even tried to kiss either girl, it was over, and I couldn't understand why. I guess I can figure that they knew what was going on and didn't want to lead me on any further. And after those two occurrences, I have had opportunities to take friendships up a notch with other girls, but they never went anywhere, because I never made a more serious move (rather than dinner and hanging out). I've kinda imprinted the thought in my brain that if I try to make a move on a girl I've been hanging out with, then I'll have miss read their motives and end it right there. So it's been over a year since going after a girl, because I'm afraid of what direction it could turn and stop me flat in my tracks one way or the other. I'm going back for my sophomore year in college in a few weeks, and want to get back on the right track as far as making sensible progress with any girl I may be interested in (like I used to in the past). But I'm afraid that I'll wait too long or miss read signs and ruin my chances.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #2  August 22,2009, 10:30am
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has all the tools and can........satisfy

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Dude,

You're a sophomore in college and you have a hard time meeting girls? With no information in your profile or a picture posted there's nothing I can offer you.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #3  August 23,2009, 2:45am
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Nothing to see here at all...

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crowdedstreets wrote :
We had gone out to dinner, hung out at my house, just the two of us, flirted a bit, but never kissed or did anything beyond that.
Here is your problem, in a nuthsell!

Moving slowly is good. Moving too slowly is not - it can be very frustrating for the girl as she would feel 'liked' by you one minute, but unsure why you would not even kiss her the next.

It's a tight rope to walk, but a new relationship should not be at a standstill for too long. You should make your intentions known - if you want to be just friends, that's fine, but if you want more, then I suggest you let her know, rather than leave her wondering and trying to read ambiguous signs. This does not mean you need to speed up the pace to race level, just be a little more than a friend to her, so that her doubts are removed.

The added benefit is hidden in the fact that kissing is a much more pleasurable activity than having those "talks", and you can avoid "talks" by doing a little kissing at opportune moments. And if you both like each other as more than friends - it's a win/win the way I see it!

Good Luck! and don't forget to enjoy the process!
 
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