anntoo is offline anntoo Post #1  August 20,2009, 9:12pm
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how far can you can in a relationship if the man want to make most all decisions. he wants me to get to get a manicure dress up and buy the hi hills.also in the ses deparment he gets a hard more if the woman is smoking
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #2  August 21,2009, 4:14am
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anntoo wrote :
how far can you can in a relationship if the man want to make most all decisions. he wants me to get to get a manicure dress up and buy the hi hills.also in the ses deparment he gets a hard more if the woman is smoking
I'm not quite following your post. Are you advising that your partner is demanding - not requesting - this from you?

Ultimately, I reckon a relationship takes equal input from both parties. I can't see how that could happen if one partner was full of demands to the other partner.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #3  August 21,2009, 5:40am
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anntoo wrote :
how far can you can in a relationship if the man want to make most all decisions. he wants me to get to get a manicure dress up and buy the hi hills.also in the ses deparment he gets a hard more if the woman is smoking
Depending on how he said it, him telling you to get a manicure, to dress up, and buy some heels could be insulting. How did you feel when he said that?

And it's easier for him sexually if you're smoking? Well, my question is, Do you already smoke? I don't. I would have a big problem with somebody wanting me to endanger my health so he can get a hard-on!

Do you think he likes you for who you are? Or do you get the feeling he wants you to be more than you are?

Really, it's not how far we would go in the relationship. It's how far you will go.
 
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Bearwolf102 is offline Bearwolf102 Post #4  August 21,2009, 6:05am
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I agree it is not possible for a real relationship to form if both partys aren't involved. What you describe is a dictatorship or at the very least a paternal autacracy. Hardly worthy of your time.

As for the dudes smokeing lady fettish...do you like to smoke? Does it turn you on? Because if it doesn't I think you should realy put this into perspective. This guy is asking you to do things that are counter to who you are or would do normaly. He dosn't care for who you are and is not giveing you the space to be that person.

Move on,
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #5  August 21,2009, 6:12am
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The relationship you speak of can actual go far...IF that's truly what the woman wants.

If you are happy with this kind of arrangement, then the relationship should be fine. But if you are honest with yourself and are not happy with it, then this relationship is doomed. The women I know would not be happy with this situation and would steer far away from this kind of relationship, but you need to be honest with yourself and think this. You will NEVER change him. He will NEVER change for you. If he changes, it will be to suit him, and not you.
 
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TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #6  August 21,2009, 1:25pm
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anntoo wrote :
how far can you can in a relationship if the man want to make most all decisions. he wants me to get to get a manicure dress up and buy the hi hills.also in the ses deparment he gets a hard more if the woman is smoking
How a relationship starts is how it's going to end. If he's dominant now he will remain that way. People don't change their basic personality traits. So only you can decide if you can live with that.
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #7  August 23,2009, 12:31pm
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Many women go for dominant types, but they often don't realize just how detrimentally dominant he may be until she's emotionally invested and vulnerable.

If you can't reasonably communicate with your mate that you want your input to be considered on decisions affecting the relationship, that's not a healthy situation. You must then determine whether it's worth staying around.
 
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waypoint_finder is offline waypoint_finder Post #8  August 23,2009, 12:34pm

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If he ever yells at you to " Shut up b iotch! Go make me a turkey pot pie!", then its time to move on.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #9  August 23,2009, 1:39pm
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This is his personality. It's doubtful it will change.

What you're describing sounds to me like a sexual fetish. Sexual dominance as a fetish can be a satisfactory choice for some, and for a knowlegable and consenting partner. There are those who embrace this lifestyle.

I would be concerned that he is not being entirely open about this as a lifestyle choice and that, rather than seeking out someone who is willing to engage in this dynamic, he is trying to shape you to do so when you seem to have little experience or knowledge about it. It's not terribly respectful and I would be concerned about the behavior escalating once he's won your trust.

You need to do some exploring about it in research and then in very open communication with him about the extent of his need to be in control, and then decide whether you are willing to live with it...for the duration of the relationship. It wouldn't be my first choice but to each their own.

That's my take on it...
Last edited by littlebluemonkeymind; August 23,2009 at 1:49pm.
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #10  August 23,2009, 5:58pm
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Just curious why your profile has correct spelling, yet this thread looks like a drunk 8 year old wrote it ?
 
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