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Is the following quote from the article a rational position?

"your relationship issues are never discussed outside your relationship"

Does this imply, for instance, that one partner could never ask for advice from anyone outside the relationship -- including friends and even "Advice" forums?

Last edited by JDavid; August 19th, 2009 at 11:52 am. Reason: TWO spelling errors
- August 19th, 2009, 11:28 am
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JDavid wrote :
Is the following quote from the article a rational position?

"your relationship issues are never discussed outside your relationship"

Does this imply, for instance, that one partner could never ask for advice from anyone outside the relationship -- including friends and even "Advice" forums?
It doesn't imply it, it says it.

Gee, I can't even ask DrPhil.
- August 19th, 2009, 12:06 pm
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"Edie should honor a request that your relationship issues are never discussed outside your relationship. The last thing you want is for her parents to become mediators between the two of you every time you have a disagreement."
What I hope they mean is:
"never discuss your relationship issues" with:
Devout followers of the TV show below, or the O one...
The mother-in-law..
No, we don't care what the folks, friends or TV gurus think could be wrong with us and how they and you should fix it.




tweet37 wrote :
It doesn't imply it, it says it.

Gee, I can't even ask DrPhil.
- August 19th, 2009, 12:22 pm
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Dr. Phil is rational and I like him.

He may even have a larger skill set than most.
- August 19th, 2009, 12:40 pm
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Keep "inside problems" inside the house...?
- August 19th, 2009, 01:39 pm
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Op you really took this quote out of context. The contex being that relationship issues should not be discussed with her family in this particular instance. And yes, badmouthing your SO to your family members can cause serious relationship problems and hostility by the family toward your SO long after you and your SO have resolved your issues.

Same goes for people like mutual friends. It puts the friend, you, and your SO in a potentially uncomfortable situation where the friend knows a little too much about one side of the relationship.

One of the reasons why anonymous advice boards are popular is precisely so that people can get advice from strangers who do not have anything invested in either party.
- August 19th, 2009, 02:01 pm
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DancingFool wrote :
Op you really took this quote out of context. The contex being that relationship issues should not be discussed with her family in this particular instance. And yes, badmouthing your SO to your family members can cause serious relationship problems and hostility by the family toward your SO long after you and your SO have resolved your issues.

Same goes for people like mutual friends. It puts the friend, you, and your SO in a potentially uncomfortable situation where the friend knows a little too much about one side of the relationship.
I have no argument with a statement that relationship problems should not be discussed with family and mutual friends. However, that is NOT what the article says.

Yes, one can assume that the author intends to apply the restriction only to family, but that is NOT what is said. Is it "out of context" to expect a professional author to state things clearly and say exactly what is meant?

DancingFool wrote :
One of the reasons why anonymous advice boards are popular is precisely so that people can get advice from strangers who do not have anything invested in either party.
I agree -- provided that seeking such advice is not prohibited by "expert" advice.
- August 19th, 2009, 02:27 pm
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DancingFool wrote :
One of the reasons why anonymous advice boards are popular is precisely so that people can get advice from strangers who do not have anything invested in either party.

Not to mention, we are funnier than most people's mothers.
- August 19th, 2009, 04:41 pm
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