kaseyjgg is offline kaseyjgg Post #1  August 15,2009, 12:08pm
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I got out of a relationship recently where the guy constantly bugged me about letting him have anal sex with me. I was completely against it and explained to him that I didn't want it. He kept bugging me about it, especially right as we were about to start having sex. He also bugged me to give him oral sex, which I don't enjoy either. Should I have given in to him when I really didn't want to do those things? Should he have been understanding and stopped pressuring me and just enjoyed what we had? It got to the point where I avoided having sex with him because I didn't want to feel the pressure, and he was a guy who wanted it every day, so it eventually ruined our relationship completely. Tell me what think, men and women!
 
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suzyqlls is offline suzyqlls Post #2  August 26,2009, 8:28am
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I think that if he really cared about your feelings he wouldn't press you for something that you don't like. Sex is about sharing yourself and that means being comfortable. How can you be comfortable sharing your body while you are being pressured to do things you have said no to. Some guys like to push to get what they want and don't care what you want or feel. Cause if you love me you'll do it for me whether you like it or not. Sex is such a personal thing for us all. Women tend to emotionalize sex more than men do. We need to feel the emotions that make us feel loved and wanted. So I think you made the right choices for you. Don't let others push you into something you aren't comfortable with.
 
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Tina2005 is offline Tina2005 Post #3  August 26,2009, 8:32am
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You shouldnt do stuff you feel uncomfortable with-simple as that.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #4  August 26,2009, 8:48am
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I think you did the right thing, but let me ask you this.

Did you refuse to do them because you really didn't like it, or did you just assume you wouldn't like it and didn't give it a chance (I'm leaning more on the oral over the anal here).

A real man takes the answer and leaves it alone, and lets you come around IF you want to and understands no means no.
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #5  August 26,2009, 8:52am
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suzyqlls wrote :
I think that if he really cared about your feelings he wouldn't press you for something that you don't like. Sex is about sharing yourself and that means being comfortable. How can you be comfortable sharing your body while you are being pressured to do things you have said no to. Some guys like to push to get what they want and don't care what you want or feel. Cause if you love me you'll do it for me whether you like it or not. Sex is such a personal thing for us all. Women tend to emotionalize sex more than men do. We need to feel the emotions that make us feel loved and wanted. So I think you made the right choices for you. Don't let others push you into something you aren't comfortable with.
^^^^THIS^^^^

Most times I would say give a little, take a little - in any healthy relationship sometimes both people have to be willing to do something you don't like for the sake of the relationship. But in this case, from what you've said, the guy sounds like a selfish jerk, and you were right to stand up for yourself.

Did he ever do anything like that for you? I'm guessing probably not. That guy doesn't want a girlfriend, he wants a blow-up doll...
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #6  August 26,2009, 8:52am
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Well this guy has a problem. He should have dropped the nagging after the first time you told him no.
Obviously you two were incompatible sexually and it's good you two ended the relationship.
The next time a guy wants anal and you don't-I guess you could say, "OK, but only if I can return the favor". I think it's rare that you'll meet a guy that insistent on wanting that.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #7  August 26,2009, 8:57am
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Sounds like you did the right thing.
You and he were incompatible..that's about it.
 
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Comedian is offline Comedian Post #8  August 26,2009, 9:03am
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I think this guy sounds like a complete jerK!!!
I am a woman who likes 'it' every day, and I'm pretty adventurous. But there are some things I won't do.
I would never let someone harass me about it, because that sounds like abuse to me.
I think you are lucky that the relationship ended...
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #9  August 26,2009, 3:33pm
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In our younger years we are still discovering all that sex has to offer. So sometimes you might have tried something you weren't comfortable with because it's something you haven't tried before. But as you get older, you know what you like and you don't like, and you're more likely to communicate those things to your partner. If you partner tries to pressure you into something you're uncomfortable with for his own gratification, that's pretty selfish and debasing. I don't know in all cases if it sums up his personality, but it probably does more often than not.

Same goes the other way around too, in my personal experience.
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #10  August 26,2009, 4:06pm
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You could have told Mr.Jackass that you enjoyed throwing punches during sex
 
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