tirhod is offline tirhod Post #1  August 14,2009, 1:11pm
tirhod's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2009

Indiana

Posts: 33

See profile

Interesting thought today: I know alot of people who get really nervous and have all kind of doubts before meeting someone; yet, a lot of the time when people have questions on here the majority opinion is to trust your gut. Any thoughts on recognizing the diference between nerves and guts?
 
  Reply With Quote
richey is online now richey Post #2  August 14,2009, 1:20pm
richey's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2009

san francisco, ca

Posts: 2,747

See profile

I'll take a stab at it. The nervousness is not the same as "trust yer gutt" because the nervousness is related to how you feel about you. The "trust your gutt" is related to the vibe you are getting about the other person.

I used to get realllll nervous a lot too. Now I don't. Now I look forward to things because I see it as an opportunity to see what happens, see if somethign is there. And in the back of my mind I've realized, "okay it can be the worst experience in my life and nothing go right... even if it is, I'm exactly where I was if I had never done it."

So because I can't be any worse off by it, I don't get nervous about it anymore.

Richey
 
  Reply With Quote
hazmat is offline hazmat Post #3  August 14,2009, 6:31pm
hazmat's Avatar

is not back

Veteran

Joined: Apr 2008

Posts: 2,060

See profile

If your little voice says..."This doesn't feel right" or "I shouldn't be doing this" or "Hmm...I think she's a woman" ...that would be your gut talking. You should probably pay attention to that voice.
 
  Reply With Quote
brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #4  August 14,2009, 6:46pm
brneyedangel's Avatar

would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

northeast Ohio

Posts: 4,590

See profile

hazmat wrote :
If your little voice says..."Hmm...I think she's a woman"
LOL
 
  Reply With Quote
IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #5  August 14,2009, 6:46pm
IcecreamMoon's Avatar

Nothing to see here at all...

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 2,847

See profile

No objective opinion, no.
But I'll offer you a subjective one - it's about knowing yourself well and trusting your own instincts.

You feel the nerves going to a job interview, but it does not stop you from going, does it?

You feel the nerves and excitement about an interesting new activity - eg. a roller coaster ride, but the nerves don't usually stop you. What can stop you is either a powerful fear, or even a phobia.

Nerves are usually physiological.

Your "gut instinct" is in your brain - it's a mix of objective, subjective and emotional knowledge - some of it is conscious, some subconscious association. The latter can cause serious doubts (especially to the true skeptics amongst us) because we cannot process it consciously at the time. It takes a while to get subconscious into conscious, and sometimes we don't do it well on our first attempt due to lack of certain factual knowledge. Nor do we always have time to deliberate with ourselves forever before we lose the chance and another door closes.

It's like if you in a proximity of an open flame - you try to get away from it before you conscious brain has the time to process the logic behind "if I do this, I can get this result. If I to that, I will get that result". You KNOW what to do because your gut instinct tells you, then your conscious catches up. Similarly when you see something you find beutiful or attractive, you admire it and are drawn to it before your conscious mind ever has a chance to understand why, it takes a while. But if you don't approach, you conscious mind will never have a chance to know why or why not.

All I know is that my gut instinct rarely lets me down. I have never regretted following my gut feelings. I have regretted not doing so because of my own fears, insecurities or misconceptions.
 
  Reply With Quote
CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #6  August 14,2009, 7:15pm
CreolePrinces…'s Avatar

It is so complicated, ya'll, and it doesn't even have to be.

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

The Dirty South

Posts: 2,575

See profile

tirhod wrote :
Interesting thought today: I know alot of people who get really nervous and have all kind of doubts before meeting someone; yet, a lot of the time when people have questions on here the majority opinion is to trust your gut. Any thoughts on recognizing the diference between nerves and guts?
For me, I define nerve as an uneasy feeling and/or fear. But guts is more of a feeling that something feels right or something feels wrong. It's hard to put into words, but I think of guts as more of a knowledge base thing and nerve as more of emotional. For example, I might have a gut feeling that someone is right for me, but ve very nervous about asking that same person out for a date.
 
  Reply With Quote
777nom is offline 777nom Post #7  August 14,2009, 9:04pm

saying goodbye.

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2009

Cincinnati

Posts: 170

See profile

I'd say guts is like a sixth sense. There's a voice of warning or an instant connection. My problem is that I don't always trust my gut. I don't think I'm capable of being nervous.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  August 15,2009, 7:07am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,668

See profile

richey wrote :
I'll take a stab at it. The nervousness is not the same as "trust yer gutt" because the nervousness is related to how you feel about you. The "trust your gutt" is related to the vibe you are getting about the other person.

I used to get realllll nervous a lot too. Now I don't. Now I look forward to things because I see it as an opportunity to see what happens, see if somethign is there. And in the back of my mind I've realized, "okay it can be the worst experience in my life and nothing go right... even if it is, I'm exactly where I was if I had never done it."

So because I can't be any worse off by it, I don't get nervous about it anymore.

Richey
I think that you have summed this up very well.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  August 15,2009, 7:12am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,668

See profile

hazmat wrote :
If your little voice says..."Hmm...I think she's a woman"
brneyedangel wrote :
LOL
At first I was thinking you were correct with the LOL. But ... read what hazmat wrote again and think about it. I am thinking that he was being quite serious and it went right over our heads.
 
  Reply With Quote
dnnmllr is offline dnnmllr Post #10  August 15,2009, 9:59am
dnnmllr's Avatar

"Steady my feet in accord with your promise, Let not iniquity lead me"...

Veteran

Joined: Feb 2008

Pennsylvania

Posts: 1,600

See profile

richey wrote :
I'll take a stab at it. The nervousness is not the same as "trust yer gutt" because the nervousness is related to how you feel about you. The "trust your gutt" is related to the vibe you are getting about the other person.

I used to get realllll nervous a lot too. Now I don't. Now I look forward to things because I see it as an opportunity to see what happens, see if somethign is there. And in the back of my mind I've realized, "okay it can be the worst experience in my life and nothing go right... even if it is, I'm exactly where I was if I had never done it."

So because I can't be any worse off by it, I don't get nervous about it anymore.

Richey
+1
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« plus sized dating | Ask a Dating Expert | Question - Does anyone believe that maybe there isn't someone for everyone? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I always wanted to be some exotic avatar, sounds promising. ” –  Jenky

Join the “My Virtual Relationship or The five day first date” discussion

“I'd give him another text proposing a "date" and if no sensible response or no response at all..... give up!” –  SteveManchesterEngland

Join the “Girl asking guy for date #4, I think I blew it” discussion

“I am so sorry. That must be very frustrating for you. Is he gifted?” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Has anyone lost their mother at a young age? How did it change your life?...or did it?” discussion

“ This...” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Changing your "type"” discussion

“ You poor thing! Were you bad? Here's the ad. Want your hair blown back? Trojan Vibrations Commercial Neighbors - YouTube Tweet ... This is the one, though now you did make me have to watch all ... ” –  Buck

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“he made his "assessment" out of choice.here's the difference... you're taking it seriously..... he's playing it as a game.As someone who has been where you're at, my advice is have some self respect ... ” –  SteveManchesterEngland

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“"I'll be back" ...and be winning!!” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Last Post Wins!” discussion

“hoo boy, I found a new one. This particular person put in their profile "Thank God for my beautiful face." Now if it was just mentioned once somewhere, well no big deal.... but it was mentioned in ... ” –  Freezepop

Join the “RED flags for men” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 9:48am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0