When do you call your partner by their name


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happyquestion is offline happyquestion Post #1  August 14,2009, 8:18am
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After the initial dating period we usually use certain endearing nick name that we call our partner, and possibly refer to each other with such terms as 'darling', 'honey', 'baby', 'sweetheart' or the like.

Once we've started using a nick name for each other, I've never call her by her first name, and the same vice versa. After our recent 'fight' she stopped using any name in our communication (mainly via text!), and the last text I received yesterday, she called me by my first name. In a relationship where we've never called each other by first name since our nicknames I feel very uneasy with being called differently.

I really don't know how to interpret this. Is this a way of drawing a line that we no longer share the close relationship we once had?

Do you call your partner by nickname, and if you started using their nick and/or terms like honey/darling etc. under what circumstances would you call them using their first name?
 
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1passionatefem is offline 1passionatefem Post #2  August 14,2009, 8:34am
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Darling, honey, etc. are terms of endearment. I use his first name when I am miffed or to get his attention.
 
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happyquestion is offline happyquestion Post #3  August 14,2009, 8:41am
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thanks 1passionatefem, would that be used to declare a 'distance' between you and your partner?

I don't know if this is a subtle way of her saying being friends rather than continue the relationship. or am i reading too much between the lines...
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  August 14,2009, 8:59am
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When I am speaking to someone, SO or any other person, I do not use their name at all. I just speak.

If I was to call someone on the phone and was not sure it was them on the other end I would use their name and introduce myself so that they would know that it was me in case they did not recognize my voice either.

When I send e-mail I always address the message with the person's name and sign with my name.

Now when my mom would use my full name I knew that I was in trouble.

I would think that since your girlfriend has begun using you name instead of the terms of endearment that was normal before the "fight" that she is either still mad at you or she feels that you are still mad at her and that the relationship is not at the level of terms of endearment it was before the "fight".
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #5  August 14,2009, 9:04am
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It sounds like perhaps your last fight has not yet been resolved...lol. She is still miffed with you. Seriously, though, it's time for some more direct communication between you two about this so you can get out of the doghouse (and that does not mean texting!).
 
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PR_Princess is offline PR_Princess Post #6  August 14,2009, 9:25am
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Woof, woof babe...someone landed in the doghouse. It happens to the best of us I think some TLC and communication are in order here. Do people still use candies, chocolate, flowers etc...in these situations? Depending on her mood she may just chuck it at you.You know her better than I do. Good luck and may the force be with you
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #7  August 14,2009, 10:08am
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Sounds like some groveling may be in order for you! It happens. Just keep your eye on the goal, and it'll go down easier!

Once the pet names were used, I would reserve the first name for those times when I was calling him from another room. Strictly as a call to attention. Kind of like in your case.

All is not lost. The fact that she is communicating at all tells you that. Courage...
 
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happyquestion is offline happyquestion Post #8  August 14,2009, 10:22am
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thanks everyone for your support and encouragement, I know lots of work is in order to mend the relationship. She has been asking for time & space - which i have without question given. She still refuses to pick up my call or call me, but she does texting me back and on odd occasions texting me.

The text messages are somewhat distant from what I've used to and now this 'first name' thing just dropped in. She says that she's depressed lately (along with other reasons/problems that she's not be communicative and need the space/time), but i'm sure there's a lot to do with this relationship that she's shutting me out.

What really got me surprised is that i've never experienced this kind of situation in our two years of dating, and it does troubles me very much. I can't help but thinking she's breaking it off, but like J0hn8andy said - the fact that she's communicating at all says all is not lost

I will keep my hope up and continue to work on it.

Appreciate all your input
 
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daveinmpls is offline daveinmpls Post #9  August 14,2009, 10:26am
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I've always used first names even after the 'nickname' stage. The women I end up with often prefer it that way, so that's what I do.

So I've never been in a situation like the OP.

I do loose sleep over (in my case) Dave vs. David. I usually can't figure out why one is being used and not the other. Means NOTHING most of the time, but I obsess over it anyway ....

Dave
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #10  August 14,2009, 10:35am
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happyquestion wrote :
The text messages are somewhat distant from what I've used to and now this 'first name' thing just dropped in. She says that she's depressed lately (along with other reasons/problems that she's not be communicative and need the space/time), but i'm sure there's a lot to do with this relationship that she's shutting me out.
This is important "additional information." Is this unusual for her? Does she have a history of depression? Has she ever been under treatment for depression (i.e., medication or therapy)?

It may be that she just has a little passing case of the blues, but if she is suffering from depression, that may help explain why it is difficult for her to engage in the relationshiop right now.
 
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