Jojo7 is offline Jojo7 Post #1  August 13,2009, 4:47pm
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I have met someone online and I like him but he lives overboard and far away (about 10 hours far by plane). I told him to come and visit me here but he said he is busy with work and he wanted me to come over. So what I agreed. Then he told me yesterday that he wants to take a vaction for 7 days to Europe next month. It makes me wonder why he wouldn't come here instead then. I think he is able financially to get by plane to here.

What do you think? who should go to the other's country?
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  August 13,2009, 5:19pm
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For me, it would be whoever is most able to travel, which comes down to work constraints and other responsibilities. I do not incorporate into my life decisions based on gender.
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Robert_inSD is offline Robert_inSD Post #3  August 13,2009, 6:58pm
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[quote=D_Lion;709650]For me, it would be whoever is most able to travel, which comes down to work constraints and other responsibilities. I do not incorporate into my life decisions based on gender.
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jin3no is offline jin3no Post #4  August 13,2009, 7:43pm
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Jojo if he can take a vacation to Europe than he lied to you about being to busy to come see you. You should not trust a liar.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #5  August 14,2009, 12:11am
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jin3no wrote :
Jojo if he can take a vacation to Europe than he lied to you about being to busy to come see you. You should not trust a liar.
Before you jump to conclusions and label him a liar, why don't you ask him about it instead? Sometimes circumstances do change, you know - maybe he had a change at work and could clear up a week?

As for the rest, surprisingly enough, I'm with the Frog.

Good Luck!
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #6  August 14,2009, 3:54am
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I agree with Dlion, whoever is best able to travel generally does the travelling.
Beware though, going to another country to meet someone is like the Starbucks vs dinner date dilema writ large. That's enough of an issue with ordinary long distance relationships but it is even more so with extremely long distance relationships.
Yes it's all very romantic to travel halfway around the world just to meet someone, but what if you arrange to be there for a week and the date doesn't work out? You're not just stuck with an awkward dinner to get through, you're stuck in another country where you maybe don't know anyone other than your date and don't have anything to do but count the days til your flight home.
I was lucky when i went to Canada, i have family in the Toronto area and there were lots of places out there that i wanted to see anyway, the vineyards, the falls... so i could look at it as a vacation where i met a date that didn't work out rather than a date that went wrong and left me up the creek.

It may not happen that way of course, but it's something to remember nonetheless.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #7  August 14,2009, 4:29am
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Jojo7 wrote :
I have met someone online and I like him but he lives overboard and far away (about 10 hours far by plane). I told him to come and visit me here but he said he is busy with work and he wanted me to come over. So what I agreed. Then he told me yesterday that he wants to take a vaction for 7 days to Europe next month. It makes me wonder why he wouldn't come here instead then. I think he is able financially to get by plane to here.

What do you think? who should go to the other's country?

He should come to you. Esp with the Europe thing he said. His balking at that would be a pinkish to red flag
 
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123GoGirl is offline 123GoGirl Post #8  August 14,2009, 7:42am
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I don't agree with the whole convenience arguement with regard to the first meeting in LDRs. If you were matched on eHarmony, then both people know where each other lives before they even start communicating.

I think a decent upstanding guy would feel more comfortable traveling to you first. I would have my doubts about a man expecting a woman to travel somewhere 10 hours flight away to meet a "stranger" for the first time in a foreign country. He should realize that safety is a very important issue for single women traveling on their own.
He should also be more concerned with making a good impression the first time you meet, rather than just what is convenient for him. If he genuinely likes you, he will want you to feel comfortable and happy when you meet. A first date is a first date, whenever and however it happens.

Do you really want to meet this guy for the very first time after sitting on a very long flight, possible feeling jet lagged, and definitely not looking your best? Let him step up.

My advice would be that the next time you discuss the whole meeting up thing, just say that you're too busy at work to make the trip at the moment. Then - If he doesn't suggest visiting you himself, then you will know where you stand.

Hopefully if things work out you can then visit him for your second meeting.
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #9  August 14,2009, 8:12am
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He lives overboard ? Did he fall off a ship ?
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  August 14,2009, 9:27am
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jin3no wrote :
Jojo if he can take a vacation to Europe than he lied to you about being to busy to come see you. You should not trust a liar.
Yes indeed!
 
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