TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #1  August 10,2009, 2:20pm
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Ok, I keep reading posts here about people not really having a timeline for when it's too soon to have sex - even if it's the first or second date. I guess I get not having a definite timeline, like 30, 60, 90 days or whatever. But I'm curious. What do men really think about women who have sex with them after only one or two dates when you don't even know each other? Ladies, how do you really feel about having sex with someone you don't know? Do people feel some kind of pressure to "connect" on that level quickly to get things going? I am just really curious.

Think about it before you answer - the truth please.

Thanks.
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #2  August 10,2009, 2:54pm
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OK...I'll give you the truth from my own views, opinions and personal experiences. As a man, having sex on the first or second encounter doesn't turn me off or endear me to a woman. The same as not having sex until weeks or months later. I've had sex with women on a first date and it never really developed into anything after that. But not because we had sex! Likewise, I had sex with a woman on a first date - it turned into a 13 year marriage. So to this man, sex isn't a thing that either turns me off or on about a woman. There's a theory that a woman has sex with you on the first date is ready to have sex with ANYONE and is more likely to cheat. I've never found that to be true in my experience. If that's true, the opposite must be true: a woman who you have to wait for to have sex is more honest and has a higher level of fidelity. Also not true from my experience.
So my conclusions: sex now or later...what does it matter. It means nothing in the long run. Have sex when you're comfortable with it and not any moment sooner.
 
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TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #3  August 10,2009, 3:01pm
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boccabum wrote :
OK...I'll give you the truth from my own views, opinions and personal experiences. As a man, having sex on the first or second encounter doesn't turn me off or endear me to a woman. The same as not having sex until weeks or months later. I've had sex with women on a first date and it never really developed into anything after that. But not because we had sex! Likewise, I had sex with a woman on a first date - it turned into a 13 year marriage. So to this man, sex isn't a thing that either turns me off or on about a woman. There's a theory that a woman has sex with you on the first date is ready to have sex with ANYONE and is more likely to cheat. I've never found that to be true in my experience. If that's true, the opposite must be true: a woman who you have to wait for to have sex is more honest and has a higher level of fidelity. Also not true from my experience.
boccabum wrote :
So my conclusions: sex now or later...what does it matter. It means nothing in the long run. Have sex when you're comfortable with it and not any moment sooner.


I appreciate your honesty. It's just that when I talk to my male friends they are always happy if they don't have to wait to get sex from a woman but they add that they would never be able to trust the woman in a relationship (thinking they would have sex with anyone), and they say they wouldn't take the woman home to meet their mother (not marriage material). So I just had to ask because people on this site seem to think it is not a big deal to have sex on the first or second date and I am just not hearing that from some of the men that I talk to! I am still learning people!
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #4  August 10,2009, 3:05pm
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The truth ...men don't need to "know" you to have sex with you and we don't get too hung up on you "knowing" us either. That's a female thing. What do we think of women who have sex with us on the 1st or 2nd date? ...the same thing we think on the 6th/8th/10th/20th/30th date - "oh yeah, I HIT that" or "oh, dang, I hit THAT?!"
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #5  August 10,2009, 3:16pm
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If I have sex on a first meeting, I always saw the woman again. Sex gets the otherwise lukewarm women the chance to prove themselves, which otherwise may not occur.
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TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #6  August 10,2009, 3:31pm
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BikerBeagle wrote :
The truth ...men don't need to "know" you to have sex with you and we don't get too hung up on you "knowing" us either. That's a female thing. What do we think of women who have sex with us on the 1st or 2nd date? ...the same thing we think on the 6th/8th/10th/20th/30th date - "oh yeah, I HIT that" or "oh, dang, I hit THAT?!"
You are making me laugh!!!
 
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TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #7  August 10,2009, 3:40pm
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[quote=D_Lion;706344]If I have sex on a first meeting, I always saw the woman again. Sex gets the otherwise lukewarm women the chance to prove themselves, which otherwise may not occur.

And what exactly are they proving? And why does a woman have to prove herself?

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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #8  August 10,2009, 3:49pm
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TiffanyDiamond wrote :

I appreciate your honesty. It's just that when I talk to my male friends they are always happy if they don't have to wait to get sex from a woman but they add that they would never be able to trust the woman in a relationship (thinking they would have sex with anyone), and they say they wouldn't take the woman home to meet their mother (not marriage material). So I just had to ask because people on this site seem to think it is not a big deal to have sex on the first or second date and I am just not hearing that from some of the men that I talk to! I am still learning people!

Most men are happy not to have to wait very long for sex! That's nature. LOL.
I used to think like your guy friends too. But over time, I learned that, at least for the women I have dated, they enjoy and want sex just as much as I do. And that their integrity down the line had nothing to do with how long they "held off" from having sex. Women that aren't marriage material are that way for any number of reasons...and if they're sexually promiscuous, that's a different thing from them having sex with you early in your relationship. Again, a woman can be promiscuous even if she makes you wait. You just find out a lot later.

You wrote "people on this site seem to think it is not a big deal to have sex on the first or second date..."???? Really? I think it's quite the opposite.
 
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TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #9  August 10,2009, 3:53pm
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boccabum wrote :
Most men are happy not to have to wait very long for sex! That's nature. LOL.
I used to think like your guy friends too. But over time, I learned that, at least for the women I have dated, they enjoy and want sex just as much as I do. And that their integrity down the line had nothing to do with how long they "held off" from having sex. Women that aren't marriage material are that way for any number of reasons...and if they're sexually promiscuous, that's a different thing from them having sex with you early in your relationship. Again, a woman can be promiscuous even if she makes you wait. You just find out a lot later.

You wrote "people on this site seem to think it is not a big deal to have sex on the first or second date..."???? Really? I think it's quite the opposite.
I'm getting an education today. I'm glad to hear from the men. I hope you guys are being honest!
 
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rfisch is offline rfisch Post #10  August 10,2009, 4:21pm
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I am a man and I have my take on it all.
I have a grown son and a grown daughter in thier 20's.
I want them as I want myself to have a happy long term relationship.
You can always add sex to a relationship but you can't always add a relationship to sex.
So in order to have a long term healthy relationship, grow the relationship first. Anything worth having is worth waiting for. I know I am! What kind of person would give themselves to just anybody? I hope my children of both genders think more of themselves than that. I believe that it's not so much about the act of sex. Can I talk about orgasms? Okay I won't but I believe that there is a spiritual connection that happens. So guys if you want her connected on the deepest level, figure it out! People that have sex without boundries think it has no affect on them but it does. People can disassociate from what they feel but it always affects them. And if you become so hard hearted that you feel nothing how do you think that affects your abilaty to love and be loved? To be respectful and be respected? I've only heard comments from lovers like " I don't think it's possable for anybody else to even be your equeal". I know as a lover I reached a point where there was no longer room for improvement. My ex accused me of trying to kill her. So I know I know what I'm talking about.
So when is the right time? I believe that sexual purity honors God. In biblical times people married as young teenagers and handled the responsabilities that went along with it. I still believe that people should abstain until they are ready for the responsabilaties. But I also think that older adults that white knuckle through thier God given desires act out in a way that is unnatural. It is just as unhealthy as jumping into bed with a stranger. Just the opposite extreme. The bible says not to give up the natural for the unnatural. A healthy person sleeps when they're tired: Eats when they're hungry: Stops eating when they're full: Expresses themselves when they're angry: Laughs when they're humored; and has sex when they're filled with desire. But not with a stranger.

Rob
 
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