eveyc is offline eveyc Post #1  August 8,2009, 7:10am
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I have been talking to someone on EHarmony since April of this year and am just curious, He says he has canceled his membership and is only communicating with me because I am what he is looking for, How do I know if this is true or not, if he is no longer on the site?
 
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yeoww is offline yeoww Post #2  August 8,2009, 4:46pm
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eveyc wrote :
I have been talking to someone on EHarmony since April of this year and am just curious, He says he has canceled his membership and is only communicating with me because I am what he is looking for, How do I know if this is true or not, if he is no longer on the site?
Is he what you're looking for? Are you guys still talking? Then it sounds to me like all is well! Maybe I'm missing the point of your post?
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #3  August 8,2009, 4:49pm
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eveyc wrote :
I have been talking to someone on EHarmony since April of this year and am just curious, He says he has canceled his membership and is only communicating with me because I am what he is looking for, How do I know if this is true or not, if he is no longer on the site?
You don't know. The thing is, if he was still on the site, he could have his profile up and still not be communicating with anyone else.

This all boils down to trust, and it sounds like you do not trust him. If you have a good reason for not trusting him, then perhaps you need to re-examine why you are still communicating with him. If you don't have a good reason for not trusting him, then those are issues that you yourself must deal with before you enter into any relationship, for you really cannot have any kind of a relationship with anyone unless there is some trust there.

You mention you have been communicating since April. Have you met him? If not, you're not really going to be able to know anything about him as a person until that happens. Things can be really great when you are communicating on a computer, and even on the phone, and sometimes even when you meet someone face-to-face, things are still great, but sometimes they're not.

I wish you all the best.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  August 8,2009, 6:43pm
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eveyc wrote :
I have been talking to someone on EHarmony since April of this year and am just curious, He says he has canceled his membership and is only communicating with me because I am what he is looking for, How do I know if this is true or not, if he is no longer on the site?
Not sure I understand the situation. If you are still communicating through the eHarmony Open Communication system then he still has a membership. If you are communicating through personal e-mail, phone or other means not associated with eHarmony then he could have canceled his membership.

Next question would be have you met in person yet? If not how could either of you know if the other is what you are looking for? And if you have not met in person yet this is just way too long to be communicating without having met in person even if it is a LDR.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #5  August 8,2009, 9:50pm
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The way you are going, he won't be "still here" for long.
But then again, you can always play "what if"... or not!
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #6  August 8,2009, 10:08pm
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Since April? Honey, it's August. Why haven't you met this guy in person yet? At this point, the question of if he's on EH or not is nothing compared to why you two haven't taken a step to meet. Plus he told you that you're the one he's looking for without ever meeting you? Normal people don't make conclusions like that with someone they've never met. There's something wrong here.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #7  August 9,2009, 7:53am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
If you are still communicating through the eHarmony Open Communication system then he still has a membership. If you are communicating through personal e-mail, phone or other means not associated with eHarmony then he could have canceled his membership.

Next question would be have you met in person yet? If not how could either of you know if the other is what you are looking for? And if you have not met in person yet this is just way too long to be communicating without having met in person even if it is a LDR.
boccabum wrote :
Since April? Honey, it's August. Why haven't you met this guy in person yet? At this point, the question of if he's on EH or not is nothing compared to why you two haven't taken a step to meet. Plus he told you that you're the one he's looking for without ever meeting you? Normal people don't make conclusions like that with someone they've never met. There's something wrong here.

I completely agree with both these posts.

To establish if someone is still active and willing to communicate, you create a new, fake profile which is likely to get matched with your partner, and see if he responds.

This is ultra-high-risk, however, as a healthy man would dump you for this sort of deception / distrust.

Ultimately, it is not possible to know that someone is not active on a dating site, anymore than it is possible to prevent someone from being unfaithful.

Also, people should remain active until established in a relationship. It is weird not to.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #8  August 9,2009, 8:43am
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D_Lion wrote :
I completely agree with both these posts.

To establish if someone is still active and willing to communicate, you create a new, fake profile which is likely to get matched with your partner, and see if he responds.

This is ultra-high-risk, however, as a healthy man would dump you for this sort of deception / distrust.
Not to mention that the chances of such a strategy succeeding so that you would even be quickly rematched are very low...lol (you would have to give at least nearly the same answers on the hundreds of questions in the questionnaire so that you would score the same on the 29 dimensions, and then hope that he would be one of the early matches pulled out of your dating pool instead of the 500th).
 
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Icouldwriteabook is offline Icouldwriteabook Post #9  August 10,2009, 10:52am
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Also, even if you could find out if they were still active or not, it doesn't mean they might not be on any other dating site. So there is never a 100% guarantee.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #10  August 10,2009, 12:01pm
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Very strange , indeed.....
1) you can see his profile up on eH even if he canceled a paying membership, look it up in the search window.

Really have to agree with the post below.

2) If "you are the one" ( favorite player line, btw), his commitment to you is: he canceled (one of) his dating memberships?

boccabum wrote :
Since April? Honey, it's August. Why haven't you met this guy in person yet? At this point, the question of if he's on EH or not is nothing compared to why you two haven't taken a step to meet. Plus he told you that you're the one he's looking for without ever meeting you? Normal people don't make conclusions like that with someone they've never met. There's something wrong here.
 
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