happyquestion is offline happyquestion Post #1  August 5,2009, 6:33am
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I came across a quote recently which read:

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.


In trying to fully comprehend the meaning of this, I did a little research, then came across the opposite variation which says

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.


I am now a little intrigued by this. Which way does it make more sense? Love gives you strength and courage, which element do you get more from a. loving someone deeply, b. deeply loved by someone...

Your thoughts? any specific examples will be greatly appreciated!
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #2  August 5,2009, 7:00am
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You give both strength and courage by giving love (freely)
You also receive strength and courage by receiving love (openly)

None of it is limited to romantic love. It can be love of a parent, a relative, a mentor, a friend or a romantic partner.

I don't see any point in analysing the specifics since Love is not an exact science. it's a philosophy, which you can either accept in your mind, heart and soul, or reject. If you need to analyze it with specifics, then in my view, it means you don't believe it and, therefore, you are rejecting it, at present. I hope this can change for you one day.
 
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happyquestion is offline happyquestion Post #3  August 5,2009, 7:18am
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IcecreamMoon wrote :
I don't see any point in analysing the specifics since Love is not an exact science. it's a philosophy, which you can either accept in your mind, heart and soul, or reject. If you need to analyze it with specifics, then in my view, it means you don't believe it and, therefore, you are rejecting it, at present. I hope this can change for you one day.
How does trying to understand more about it translate to not believing in love? I hope I do, but perhaps I don't, and I don't know?
 
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SpookyMulder is offline SpookyMulder Post #4  August 5,2009, 7:24am
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I don't think they are mutually exclusive. It takes both strength and courage to love someone and both are given when being loved.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #5  August 5,2009, 7:33am
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How does trying to understand more about it translate to not believing in love? I hope I do, but perhaps I don't, and I don't know?
I din't say you don't believe in love.
You presented 2 quotes - I view them as one of philosophies of love, which I happen to accept.

Love (what it gives, and what it receives), means different things to different people. Some people think love gives money, which can be true when supporting a child (beyond basic needs), someone in need or simply donating to charity, etc. Others see love in more spiritual terms.

Each one of us is an individual and is entitled to have their personal views on love and life in general. As long as it's not harming anyone in the process (which love should not do by definition) - it's all good, as far as I'm concerned.

The philosophy you presented here happens to be one I believe in strongly, but as you can see in my previous post here, I combine both statements into a philosophy of my own. It "clicks" in my mind. It guides me (somewhat) in life. I find it comforting and empowering. I beieve it can offer the same comfort to others, which is why I said I hope you can accept this philisphy one day.

But you don't have to accept it, or even understand it, for that matter (unless you really want to, of course). But you need to understand that Love is not Maths, or even Literature - you can't process it in your mind alone. Love can be viewed as philosophy, or even an art - it doesn't matter how well you understand the technique, you need to feel it in your heart to produce art, rather than mechanical drawings.

Just find something that "clicks" in your own mind and heart, which aslo works for you in real life. It makes love a little easier to believe in, even during the most trying times.
 
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DancingFool is online now DancingFool Post #6  August 5,2009, 8:10am
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I came across a quote recently which read:

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.


In trying to fully comprehend the meaning of this, I did a little research, then came across the opposite variation which says

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.


I am now a little intrigued by this. Which way does it make more sense? Love gives you strength and courage, which element do you get more from a. loving someone deeply, b. deeply loved by someone...

Your thoughts? any specific examples will be greatly appreciated!
Seems like you are getting hung up in semantics. Love gives you both strength and courage and giving love gives strength and courage. Strength and courage go hand in hand.

Extreme example - a woman in an abusive marriage may never have the strength or the courage to leave her abusive relationship for her herself, however the love for her child and her desire to protect him will give her both the strength and the courage to leave and stand up on her own two feet no matter how difficult or scary that may be to her.

Opposite example - being loved creates a sense of security, a support system. This allows a person to venture out and accomplish things that otherwise they would not find the strength and the courage to do. The knowledge that someone is always in your corner of the ring and rooting for you can be a very powerful thing, especially when things are not working out quite the way that you hoped. It gives you the strength to persevere, the courage to continue.
 
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happyquestion is offline happyquestion Post #7  August 5,2009, 9:29am
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IcecreamMoon wrote :
I din't say you don't believe in love. You presented 2 quotes - I view them as one of philosophies of love, which I happen to accept.

... The philosophy you presented here happens to be one I believe in strongly, but as you can see in my previous post here, I combine both statements into a philosophy of my own. It "clicks" in my mind. It guides me (somewhat) in life.

I find it comforting and empowering. I beieve it can offer the same comfort to others, which is why I said I hope you can accept this philisphy one day. But you don't have to accept it, or even understand it, for that matter (unless you really want to, of course).

But you need to understand that Love is not Maths, or even Literature - you can't process it in your mind alone.

Love can be viewed as philosophy, or even an art - it doesn't matter how well you understand the technique, you need to feel it in your heart to produce art, rather than mechanical drawings. Just find something that "clicks" in your own mind and heart, which aslo works for you in real life. It makes love a little easier to believe in, even during the most trying times.

Perhaps i came across in my OP as I don't accept the philosophy presented by the two quotes, (due to the topic title?) I clarify - I strongly resonate with what was said in these quotes, about courage and strength by loving someone and to be loved by someone.

It is quite natural that we 'think' about a philosophy, or making inquiries into the nature of things, not necessarily to over-analyse, even if we adopt an approach of logical reasoning rather than on empirical terms. After all, by its own definition, 'philosophy' encompass' the love and pursuit of wisdom by intellectual means...

Whilst I've never thought that such philosophical concept or art form as Love can be dissected into a maths equation, I do find it enlightening to ponder the meanings behind everything, including the philosophy presented, it doesn't mean i reject it, perhaps just inquisitive.

Now back to my OP, what intrigued me to think about it more is that it seemed that the quote have differentiated "strength" and "courage" as two distinct elements (which they are), and assigned them to the outcomes of two different 'actions'/'conditions' - being deeply loved by someone, and loving someone deeply.

Obviously you can receive and give both strength and courage from loving and being loved, the quote however seemed to have expressed a more dominate possible outcome from each condition.

So I started look up strength vs courage, and found the following quotes which intrigued me even more:
It takes strength to be firm.
It takes courage to be gentle.
It takes strength to stand guard.
It takes courage to let down your guard.
It takes strength to conquer.
It takes courage to surrender.
It takes strength to be certain.
It takes courage to have doubt.
It takes strength to fit in.
It takes courage to stand out.
It takes strength to feel a friend’s pain.
It takes courage to feel your own pain.
It takes strength to hide your own pains.
It takes courage to show them.
It takes strength to endure abuse.
It takes courage to stop it.
It takes strength to stand alone.
It takes courage to lean on another.
It takes strength to love.
It takes courage to be loved.
It takes strength to survive.
It takes courage to live.
Reading up the definition of Strength & Courage I associate the following meaning to each term:

Strength - quality of being strong, durability, power to resist strain for stress, ability to maintain ... firmly

Courage - quality of mind or spirit that enable one to face danger, fear or vicissitudes with confidence and resolution, bravery.

It appears that strength and courage is like the two axes (vertical & horizontal) that together form a plane. One can be very courageous & brave without ability to maintain and resist strain (lack of strength), or one can be show the quality of being strong but lack the bravery or the confidence and resolution to face fear.

And yes often these two qualities will go hand in hand, they are not mutually exclusive of one another, but you can have a courageous person with little strength or someone with lots of strength but little courage.

Now imagine if you deeply love someone (unrequited or not), do you learn more about strength or courage (or perhaps both)? and if someone loves you deeply (you may or may not love them as much), do you learn more about courage or strength, or both?

The original quote seem to projects that you get one element more than the other from each conditions, I'm very interested to find out which condition holds better, perhaps neither, perhaps both.
 
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