CARL45 is offline CARL45 Post #1  August 3,2009, 5:18pm
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I went on a date with a women I liked, well after the date a friend told me she had described me as innocent. The funny thing is I think I described myself in such a way to get that description. I told her I don't drink that much or do drugs. When I asked a friend what the women thought of me he said I was innocent. Also the women no longer really talks to me anymore like she use to, except for quick hellos and goodbye's. I figure I really put my foot in my mouth again. I should not have presented my self as such a nice guy. What do you think?
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #2  August 3,2009, 5:22pm
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I think she wasn't that attracted to you, and that's fine, it's her choice.

Now forget her, and go out and find someone who IS attracted to you.

And then come back and tell us about it.
 
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Icouldwriteabook is offline Icouldwriteabook Post #3  August 3,2009, 5:27pm
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I am not so innocent any more at 49 (yikes, just turned 49 yesterday!) however, when I was younger here's what I would tell people in conversation if it came up...."I may be innocent in that I have not done a lot of things, but I am certainly not naive".
For example, I was a bit of a good-two-shoes in high school, never did drugs, hung out with some of the "smart" crowd but also was a "theater geek" but it did not mean that I was unaware of what was going on.

Sometimes when I used to meet dates, especially "reformed bad boys" I think they might have been concerned that because I had not done a lot that I would perhaps be judgemental of their past. But I was not because I knew the score even if I had not done it myself.

I mention the same things to my kids when talking about sex and drugs. I think sometimes they still think I am naive! But sometimes I love to surprise them with my knowledge of what goes on in the world!
 
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MCMLXXII is offline MCMLXXII Post #4  August 3,2009, 5:50pm
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Hi Carl: If one of my girlfriend's went on a date and later described the guy as "innocent", I would equate that to mean he's "boyish." And there's nothing wrong with that, it just may not be what's she's looking for.

She may be looking for someone a little more "weathered."

Hugs.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #5  August 3,2009, 6:03pm
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Yup, there is definitely a difference between innocent and naive. But either way, it's still attractive to some people. It just means that isn't her type, and that's fine. Someone that appreciates "innocent" will probably have less drama associated with them, and that's a good thing.

You can't please all of the people all of the time... and why would you want to?
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #6  August 3,2009, 6:11pm
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chawks64 wrote :

You can't please all of the people all of the time... and why would you want to?
No matter what I look like, there will always be someone who finds me unattractive. Gasp!
 
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Andrewthecarrotman is offline Andrewthecarrotman Post #7  August 3,2009, 6:20pm
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Be the nice guy. I'm told the ones that look for a bad guy eventually grow up.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #8  August 3,2009, 6:28pm
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Mr_Right wrote :
No matter what I look like, there will always be someone who finds me unattractive. Gasp!
Oh please!

You have yourself a serious hottie that obviously adores you! The rest of us should be so lucky!
 
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roguewolf1 is offline roguewolf1 Post #9  August 3,2009, 8:31pm

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CARL45 wrote :
I went on a date with a women I liked, well after the date a friend told me she had described me as innocent. The funny thing is I think I described myself in such a way to get that description. I told her I don't drink that much or do drugs. When I asked a friend what the women thought of me he said I was innocent. Also the women no longer really talks to me anymore like she use to, except for quick hellos and goodbye's. I figure I really put my foot in my mouth again. I should not have presented my self as such a nice guy. What do you think?

You answered your own question. In any game you can sit on the sidelines or learn the rules (so you can break them) and play. Rules were made to be broken and those who strictly follow the rules are called "innocent."

Now maybe I'm jawing here too much and gone off kilter. You should be accepted for who you are. But most of the time, the dating game is not played that way. You want playing time? Then you might have to become a little more agressive
in a friendly way.

If most women don't like innocent or nice guys and you dont' want to wait, then maybe you can slightly emphasize other things. Give it a whirl and let us know how it goes. Remember, dating is all about body language.

The men who know how to control their body language per the dating game, get more play. It's a simple as the guy who wears the most impressive suit at a gathering. Change your body language and watch what happens. This includes what you say.
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #10  August 3,2009, 10:03pm
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CARL45 wrote :
I went on a date with a women I liked, well after the date a friend told me she had described me as innocent. The funny thing is I think I described myself in such a way to get that description. I told her I don't drink that much or do drugs. When I asked a friend what the women thought of me he said I was innocent. Also the women no longer really talks to me anymore like she use to, except for quick hellos and goodbye's. I figure I really put my foot in my mouth again. I should not have presented my self as such a nice guy. What do you think?
Good for you.
 
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