CARL45 is offline CARL45 Post #1  August 3,2009, 2:22pm
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I ask this question because recently their was a woman I liked that I worked with in a school. We always got along and we always talked. One day I decided to ask her if she wanted to play raquetball with me, she said yes. I really didn't know how to play well and we just had fun. Well a few days later I asked a friend who talked to her what she thought about the game. She thought the game went well and when I asked what she thought of her opinion of me she said that she had thought I was innocent. At first I thought this was alright, but I more and more I thought about it I looked at it as a negative. And I was right because the next couple of days the women really wouldn't even talk to me anymore, I mean she gave short answers to my questions. I think I really screwed up with the women and I should have never described myself as passive to her. I should have been more deceptive with the women and more aggressive, but I am just too nice for my own good. What do you think? I really need a opinion?
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #2  August 4,2009, 4:26pm
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If you set up a date with a girl doing anything, have an endgame plan. Plan to kiss her if she doesn't bolt out of the car at the end of the date.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #3  August 4,2009, 4:54pm
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CARL45 wrote :
,,, I am just too nice for my own good....
I dont know you but I'm going to take a stab at this one... There is "nice" and then there is boring, lacking a life, aimless, or trying-too-hard-to-please. Letting life passively happen to you instead of making goals is also not attractive. I know lots of guys that I would describe as "nice" and would also go out with if they weren't already attached, but they all have goals and assert their own personality. There is nothing attractive about a deceptive man, as you claim to aspire to be. A little bit of spice in your flirting and a little less over-accommodating to your date may be in order, however.

I have declined second dates with guys who were "nice" in this way because, frankly, I didn't want to be bored to tears on a second date.

As far as what does "innocent" mean? It usually mean inexperienced, harmless, or naive. Are you any of these, or do you project that image?

On the other hand, if you have a full life, interesting job, hopes and goals for the future, hobbies, friends, a genuine passion for life, an interest in others, and are able to discuss these things in an interesting way, you may be more properly labeled a "great guy" than a "nice, innocent guy."

A few pointers: If you want to see her again ask her instead of pestering her friends for opinions. And you're probably better off avoiding coworkers for dates.
 
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