tirhod is offline tirhod Post #1  August 1,2009, 6:43am
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I have just gotten back to dating after my wife left me. Realizing at some point I will have to tell anyone I am in a relationship that this happened and possibly some details, when is the best time to bring it up (not necessarily discuss, but inform). Still in my 20s I am worried that it might prove to be a turn-off as most of the women I am meeting have never been married.
sola gratia
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  August 1,2009, 1:37pm
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~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

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Are you divorced? I would put that in my profile information.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  August 1,2009, 2:43pm
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With online dating, your profile will have an entry for single / divorce / widow. Therefore your matches will already know.
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #4  August 1,2009, 3:06pm
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.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

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[quote=Nanette;695056]
Are you divorced? I would put that in my profile information.




I'm thinking not.
 
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tirhod is offline tirhod Post #5  August 1,2009, 3:15pm
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D_Lion wrote :
With online dating, your profile will have an entry for single / divorce / widow. Therefore your matches will already know.
I remember answering questions about this on eharmony, and rating how much it made a difference to me. But looking at other profiles I cannot find a place where this is actually posted.
 
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trackstar is offline trackstar Post #6  August 3,2009, 8:00am
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My current boyfriend, also still in his 20s, was in your situation. Because of the state where his wife ran off to, the separation waiting period was long, so although things had been over for a long time, his divorce was not final. He let me know somewhere between three and four weeks after we'd started dating, when we'd gone out probably a dozen times and were only seeing eachother. He said that if he let it go any longer, he would feel like he was lying to me. He also said that even though the divorce would be final soon enough and it was uncontested with no children involved, it wasn't like I would never go to his grandma's house and see his wedding picture or that his grandpa who has Alzheimer's wouldn't call me the wrong name. . .As to being a turn-off, you're right. If he had told me he was married before we started dating, I never would have given him a chance. And it wasn't exactly easy to hear when he did tell me. . .but, by that time, I knew him and liked him and was pretty sure that I could trust him. And now, I'm so, so glad that I didn't run! Good luck - there are women who will understand.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #7  August 3,2009, 8:05am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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I'm in a similar situation, though in my 40s. I tell people this whenever we might discuss past relationships...which is usually fairly early (at least in generalities). I describe my relationship past pretty matter-of-factly and don't think it's any big deal.
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #8  August 3,2009, 2:28pm
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would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

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tirhod wrote :
I have just gotten back to dating after my wife left me. Realizing at some point I will have to tell anyone I am in a relationship that this happened and possibly some details, when is the best time to bring it up (not necessarily discuss, but inform). Still in my 20s I am worried that it might prove to be a turn-off as most of the women I am meeting have never been married.
sola gratia
I think it's always best to be upfront and honest. There's nothing wrong with you, and there were reasons for what happened. When you choose to reveal those reasons is up to you, but I would hope that a person would take the time to get to know you and not just jump to conclusions about you just because you are divorced. Just my two cents....
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #9  August 3,2009, 2:57pm
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Toodles, sayonara, and happy trails! Wishing everyone luck and love...

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[quote=D_Lion;695119]With online dating, your profile will have an entry for single / divorce / widow. Therefore your matches will already know.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #10  August 3,2009, 6:08pm
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says this is the best wedding picture!

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I'm thinking there's no need to bare your soul on the first date.

See if you have fun and chemistry first.
 
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