Patience???? Jilted guys or just guys in general, your thoughts please.


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sexysmile is offline sexysmile Post #1  July 30,2009, 4:50pm
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o.k.
I know some of you read a thread I started some time ago about my friends and fix ups. Thanks for all the thoughts.
So.... here's how it stands....
This gentleman in my small town is divorced (twice.. first one she was mean to him and the second just up and took off.. I guess she got into partying... so he is feeling a little jilted.) for some time now. He has said to many people that he is not ready for anyone (I guess everyone has been trying to fix him up... He's a great guy and I have really liked him for sometime, but when I found out he was married years ago... HANDS OFF.) Now he's single and really the only man I'm interested in around here. My friends approached him about going out to dinner and the two of us going with them. (This guy and I know each other... it's a very small town. He's a local police officer and I'm a prominent player in the business of our community and volunteer.) He said "He would not be good for me." I remember saying that when I first got divorced to a few people. I said it to the guys I did not want to get serious with. Do you think that this is his polite way of saying He's not interested?
Anyway, my home is on the route of the police to patrol. We used to wave at each other... now he doesn't and I avoid looking at him.. or just kind of play it off. I don't want him to think I'm some kind of "stalker or the typical psycho woman." The other day I was playing around with my son in the kitchen and I caught him going by and looking at the house. He saw me and turned his head the other way. ??????
So... what I'm trying to get at. Should I just keep my distance? Try to start waving again. I'm friends with everyone in town and love to wave. Explain when I pass him that I miss waving?
I'm interested in true thoughts.. but please be polite.
Thanks for all your help!
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #2  July 30,2009, 5:26pm
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Nothing to see here at all...

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The only thought I can offer is -
STOP driving each other crazy with all the guesswork, and try to find a way to see each other one-on-one to START some HONEST TALKING. You can start slowly, have fun in between.

But if you can talk to each other honestly at all, then move on and stop torturing yourself. You sound like a wonderful, accomplished woman, both in your career and in your heart. There are good men out there, who will only be too happy to have you in their lives.

You only have to find 1 Decent Man and try to make each other happy, despite all your human flaws and imperfections. The fact that this guy is a police man indicates that he is decent at heart and is willing to sacrifice of himself to help others - an admirable quality, if you ask me.

But don't beat your head against his fortress or fear for too long. You deserve to be happy too! I'd give it one more try with this guy - if it doesn't work out, find a better man.

Good Luck!
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #3  July 30,2009, 5:35pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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For people can't deal with the situation you've described in an adult way, but instead are avoiding looking at each other...I don't forsee a successful relationship in the future.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #4  July 30,2009, 6:22pm
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sexysmile wrote :
He said "He would not be good for me."

This could be worth taking at face value: he knows something about you or about himself that leads him to conclude a relationship is not advised. He may simply want something different at this stage in his life than you do.
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likiliki is offline likiliki Post #5  October 2,2009, 4:52am
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Sounds to me like you are chasing someone who Does Not want you. When he said he would not be good for you.. was it to you or did you hear that from someone else??
Anyway you might as well look else where.
I am not sure of whart your track record is, but seems like you have blown it several times.
LeeK
Last edited by likiliki; October 2,2009 at 4:54am.
 
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Galaxion is offline Galaxion Post #6  January 22,2010, 5:37pm
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@IcecreamMoon: "Fortress of Fear"... I'm copying that line and running with it. (Not carving it above my front door, no, really not, I just want to have the line ready when needed.)
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #7  January 22,2010, 5:46pm
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I miss her posts. I wish she would come back!
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #8  January 22,2010, 5:55pm
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Maybe she's blissfully in love?
 
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melman is offline melman Post #9  January 22,2010, 6:33pm
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IcecreamMoon wrote :
The fact that this guy is a police man indicates that he is decent at heart and is willing to sacrifice of himself to help others - an admirable quality, if you ask me.
All police are decent at heart? That's a good one.
What does the fact that he's a two-time loser indicate to you?
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #10  January 22,2010, 6:44pm
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Yay! spring has sprung.

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Time, sounds like he needs some time to sort things.
Ive been there and no it wouldnt have been good if anyone had pushed at that time.
 
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