Newbie & Completely Ignorant of Internet Dating


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mikie328 is offline mikie328 Post #1  July 27,2009, 7:48pm
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I've never done an internet dating site before. In fact, the past several years I have spent working on my education and career, and haven't dated very much. My last serious boyfriend was in college. Now, I am in my mid-30's, have gained a few extra (more than I care to admit) pounds, and am discovering I know absolutely NOTHING about dating!

I've had several matches on this site & have tried to keep an open mind about the men I'm matched with. I've sent questions to about 85% of them and as of yet, I haven't been given a second thought. This is very discouraging.

Does anyone have any kind of advice? I am sure the articles on here are helpful - once a relationship has started. I haven't gotten past anyone answering my questions.
Thank you in advance for any/all suggestions & advice!
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #2  July 28,2009, 9:32am
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EH is not as easy as EH would like to make it out to be.

As you are finding EH takes a lot of patience!

Suggestions:

1. Make sure you have good pictures of yourself posted. Have a close in head shot and a full body shot that really shows exactly how much you weigh.

2. Up your distance setting "one zone more".

3. Add an extra year to your upper age range.

--------------------------------------

Keep communicating with your matches! At some point one will be interested in you and will write back.
 
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Bearwolf102 is offline Bearwolf102 Post #3  July 28,2009, 9:59am
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My suggestion would be to check out POF or Pleanty of Fish. It's free. You can search all listings for yourself. You are not limited to the 29 dem of "incompatability". You have to wade through many listings to find people but I have met many more on POF for free in one month than I did paying good money for a year on Eharmony. My GF "S" is from POF.

If you must use eharmony than I recomend you send questions to everyone you are interested in. Welcome fast track but never send them yourself. Close any match who does not make contact after one week of your communication. This may seem harsh but if they didn't like you after a week why would they next week. Complete your profile. Make it true do not mislead. Point out what you enjoy and are interested in. Make sure to have a photo.

Good luck,
Bearwolf102
 
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Genie57 is offline Genie57 Post #4  July 28,2009, 10:39am
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DDjr wrote :
EH is not as easy as EH would like to make it out to be.
DDjr wrote :

Unfortunately it's not just EH. I have tried several and none of them are as easy as they make it out to be.

Suggestions:

1. Make sure you have good pictures of yourself posted. Have a close in head shot and a full body shot that really shows exactly how much you weigh.

2. Up your distance setting "one zone more".

3. Add an extra year to your upper age range.

Great suggestions. I have done all of the above. It did widen my scope of "acceptable" matches. Didn't make things any easier and I used several sites for 2 years.

Sorry to be a downer but that's why I don't try to meet people on any of the dating sites anymore. I try to meet people on my own or through people that I know. Haven't had much luck that way either unfortunately. But at least it's free!!

Keep communicating with your matches! At some point one will be interested in you and will write back.
I guess you might as well if you've already paid!

Good luck to you!
Last edited by Genie57; July 28,2009 at 10:41am. Reason: Correct wording
 
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Bearwolf102 is offline Bearwolf102 Post #5  July 28,2009, 10:46am
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Keep this in mind. All of these tools are flawed. But spread your net wide and keep trying. The right one is out there someplace.

Let me ask you something. If your friends and family looked at you would they say you are happy as you are? Do you do things on your own that make you happy? Do you get invlolved with groups and activites? Would you hang out with you if you had a choice?

You want to make sure you are happy before you start looking for someone to add to your happiness. Don't look for someone to fill the gaps that never works.

Good luck,
Bearwolf102
 
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