ses_2009 is offline ses_2009 Post #1  July 25,2009, 8:20pm
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me and my boyfriend were friends for 5 years before we started dating. we have been together for a year and a half. he went to prison last week and hes going to be there for atleast 10-20 years. should i forget him or wait for him?




confused to no end
 
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Rochelle1975 is offline Rochelle1975 Post #2  July 26,2009, 9:39am
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I would definitely move on! Why would you want to be with someone that did something to get them locked up for 10-20 years? You need to respect yourself enough to know that you deserve better than that!
 
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avinash is offline avinash Post #3  July 26,2009, 10:33am
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Well you shouldn't completely forget about him, even if you end the romantic relationship, he would probably enjoy hving a visitor from time to time.

Now as to the romantic relationship, unless you two were really, really serious and talking marriage, its probably best if you don't make any long term romantic comitments, who knows how you'll feel about him in 10-20 years, and its not fair to make you wait that long to find happiness. So unless you two were planning to get married, it would be better to end the romantic relationship, at least while he's in jail, and just be his friend. In 10-20 years when he gets out, if you still feel the same way about him, and are still single, then you can talk about getting back together.
 
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Genie57 is offline Genie57 Post #4  July 26,2009, 12:14pm
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ses_2009 wrote :
me and my boyfriend were friends for 5 years before we started dating. we have been together for a year and a half. he went to prison last week and hes going to be there for atleast 10-20 years. should i forget him or wait for him?




confused to no end
I would definitely move on. You are not married to this guy and if he really cares about you he should want you to move on as well. I understand being in love or whatever...but to sit around and wait possibly 20 years for someone??? He won't even be the same person after spending that kind of time in prison so the person you love now will be long gone. With the passage of time you will not be the same person either. If nothing else - think about that! You have got to move on and live your life!
 
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bronte71 is offline bronte71 Post #5  July 26,2009, 12:40pm
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ses_2009 wrote :
me and my boyfriend were friends for 5 years before we started dating. we have been together for a year and a half. he went to prison last week and hes going to be there for atleast 10-20 years. should i forget him or wait for him?




confused to no end
Speaking as someone who has some "troubled" relatives, a great big prison sentence is a good indicator that your relationship and your future might not have been his first priority-- it was probably HIMSELF. And 20 years will change a person, but 20 years in prison will change a person a LOT more, usually for the worse. You deserve better.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #6  July 26,2009, 1:24pm
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What did he go to prison for? This is not a guy you want to be with anyway. A guy in prison does not have much to offer you in any way. Why waste your life away? Find a decent lawful boyfriend, and sent this guy a birthday card now and then , if it makes you feel better
ses_2009 wrote :
me and my boyfriend were friends for 5 years before we started dating. we have been together for a year and a half. he went to prison last week and hes going to be there for at least 10-20 years. should i forget him or wait for him?
confused to no end
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #7  July 26,2009, 6:39pm
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To expand on what WM2 said, and to deliver some possibly needed tough love...

How did you end up with someone that was able to get themselves sent to prison for 10+ years? (Yes, I'm being negative.)

What are the choices that you are making? Do you have some past history that you really need to work out in therapy before trying to find a decent relationship?
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #8  July 26,2009, 6:52pm
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He obviously felt it was more important to go do something stupid than work on a life with you. Why waste your life on him ? Plus...Say you do wait on him...What if it doesn't work out, or he does something else stupid and goes back to prison ?

You may seem very important to him now, but that's because he's gonna be dodging weenies for twenty years. Buy him some soap on a rope and find a man who actually cares about you.
 
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funwritergirl is offline funwritergirl Post #9  July 26,2009, 7:00pm
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Hello... Could I use this discussion board to ask advise on match?
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #10  July 27,2009, 2:18pm
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Probably better to start a new thread.
 
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