the1kaiser is offline the1kaiser Post #1  July 21,2009, 2:03pm
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One of my biggest fears, and really the only one that I am feeling right now, about dating is my severe lack of experience. Lack of experience as in... I've been on 2 dates in my 28 years of being alive... it goes without saying that I am also a virgin.

I can't help but be terrified and anxious about being intimate, and honestly don't know how to be a "boyfriend". I have always been an "analyzer", someone who breaks down a situation to it's finest point in order to understand and solve the problem, however I don't even know where to begin with this one, lol...

Am I making a mountain out of a mole-hill? Any help would be awesome! Good luck.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  July 21,2009, 5:42pm
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[FONT=Arial]When confronted by a problem of this kind, the first step is usually to obtain a girlfriend. Have you done so?
 
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WYskywatcher is offline WYskywatcher Post #3  July 21,2009, 6:13pm
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the1kaiser wrote :
... it goes without saying that I am also a virgin.

Am I making a mountain out of a mole-hill? Any help would be awesome! Good luck.
To the contrary, being a virgin at 28 doesn't "go without saying." That makes you pretty unique.

Here's a thought....what if....

you meet someone who is a virgin too and you both are anxious and nervous BUT obviously have no past experience to base expectations SO you spend a lifetime discovering pleasure and how to please one another?

An LTR will include trust, admiration and acceptance...all necessary for meaningful, mutually satisfying sex. (Ok, Ok, I know this is a female perspective...can't speak for the guys! )
 
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the1kaiser is offline the1kaiser Post #4  July 21,2009, 6:19pm
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I 100% agree with you, that's why I joined eHarmony, lol. I was always kind of an "ugly duckling". I grew up very dorky and unattractive (in my opinion) and since my early 20's have come into my own so to speak, but left with little self-confidence about my own looks, although it is growing.

I have been approached by women before so I'm pretty sure I have the ability to attract a woman, however, I am just short of paralyzed by fear... What if the girl I go out with wants a kiss on the first date? There are just some things a 28 year old should have experience in. A lot rides on the first kiss and each one thereafter and it's not like I can just come out and say I have never even kissed a girl, at least not on the first date, not the best topic of conversation I don't think.

Simply put, my fear holds me back from step 1.

*edit* I think I need a female's perspective just as much, if not more so. But what if the girl is experienced, I don't want to disappoint them!
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #5  July 21,2009, 6:22pm
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Seriously, you are worried too much.
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the1kaiser is offline the1kaiser Post #6  July 21,2009, 6:23pm
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Very good point, and that's kind of the odd thing. I have faced every fear I have to this point head on and have none left, although I think this is tougher only because it includes another person.
 
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WYskywatcher is offline WYskywatcher Post #7  July 21,2009, 6:31pm
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I agree with D_Lion, you are worrying too much.

Just my .02, female perspective here, first I wouldn't expect or want a kiss on a first date. Second, if I were attracted enough to you to be on another 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. date down the road, then your kissing experience would not be an issue or even a consideration.

Character traits like patience, passion, loyalty, kindness, gentleness, integrity, flexibility, etc. are more important to me. If I like you, I'm not going to reject you for lack of experience.
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #8  July 21,2009, 6:33pm
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[quote=D_Lion;682165]Seriously, you are worried too much.
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FaintestInkling is offline FaintestInkling Post #9  July 21,2009, 6:39pm
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* * *
Last edited by FaintestInkling; January 31,2010 at 8:18pm.
 
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WYskywatcher is offline WYskywatcher Post #10  July 21,2009, 6:50pm
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FaintestInkling wrote :
WYskywatcher, I think the OP meant "it goes without saying" that he's a virgin because he's been on two dates ever, not because he's 28.
I'm just saying, in this day and age, 2 dates does not disqualify him from sex!

I think OP feels like he's wearing a big sign across his forehead that says "VIRGIN." Relax OP. Decide what you want in a partner and start looking for it! Have fun and don't do anything that you don't want to do.
 
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