HHBT is offline HHBT Post #1  July 20,2009, 5:51pm
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Ok,

I finally met someone that I thought I had a realy connection with. He was great: cute, good job, interesting, we had things in common. I felt like we had a real connection from the first date. We met on a Wednesday and then he asked me if I wanted to meet up again on Friday Night, so we I did. Then neither of us had anything planned for the next day so we hung out again and spent a great day together. He asked if we could see each other again the next Tuesday and the following Saturday. Ok, this is going great, he seems really interested in me. Now it's been another week and a half and he seems to have lost interest or something. He will text if I text him, but hasn't initiated any communication himself. Also, we have no plans to meet up again soon. I don't know what happened. Is he just busy? Is he dating other people? Did he loose interest? Did I do something that turned him off?
 
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RedhawkGal79 is offline RedhawkGal79 Post #2  July 20,2009, 6:19pm
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HHBT~

He's not interested. Don't spend anymore time overanalyzing it or rationalizing it ("too busy"). Don't text him anymore. If he's interested, he'll contact you. In the meantime, find some other activities you enjoy doing and see other people.
 
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guitarjunkie is offline guitarjunkie Post #3  July 20,2009, 6:40pm
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I see two possibilities:

1. He's no longer interested.

2. After he initiated all the other dates (or so it seems from your post), maybe he's waiting for you to set something up. I know I would at this point. If after 3-4 dates that I initiated the woman doesn't organize a date, I'd assume she's not really interested, or we're not a good match because she expects me to do all the asking out.
 
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Bouffy is offline Bouffy Post #4  July 21,2009, 5:19am
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guitarjunkie makes a valid point. He could be testing you to be an organizer. I'll be he just wants you to set something up.

Besides its a good way to break into the subject of what he's about if he declines. Be sure to ask him his thoughts. Maybe he's preoccupied with something?
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #5  July 21,2009, 5:34am
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I'm going to have to go with the two guys on this one. And I just hate when that happens!
 
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OrlandoSocrates is offline OrlandoSocrates Post #6  July 21,2009, 6:16am
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Most likely he is no longer interested. While testing you is a reasonable theory, I don't believe that is the case. The only "testing" I would ever do is to see if there is genuine interest... looking for simple things like "Thank you for dinner". I wouldn't expect you to organize a date, but would look for some proactive confirmation. It sounds like you have clearly done that.

I know first hand that it can seem like a really great connection on one side, while on the other it is simply friendly conversation, but without the true fires of soul-mate connection... and it can take a couple dates to find out for sure which is which.
 
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Genie57 is offline Genie57 Post #7  July 21,2009, 6:19am
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j0hn8andy wrote :
I'm going to have to go with the two guys on this one. And I just hate when that happens!
I agree! Even while I was reading your post I kept thinking "why is he doing all the asking and setting things up?" Try to plan something for the two of you and see what happens. Good luck!
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #8  July 21,2009, 7:02am
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Unfortunately, yes , you answered your question below. Next time, avoid the first week marathons, it's like a hot dog eating contest, it's just too much . Set up a more reasonable dating schedule, once, twice a week, planned in advance a little, not just hang out because he or you have nothing better going on. Yes, you let him overdose on you ,pace yourself next time.
HHBT wrote :
Ok,

I finally met someone that I thought I had a really connection with. He was great: cute, good job, interesting, we had things in common. I felt like we had a real connection from the first date. We met on a Wednesday and then he asked me if I wanted to meet up again on Friday Night, so we I did. Then neither of us had anything planned for the next day so we hung out again and spent a great day together. He asked if we could see each other again the next Tuesday and the following Saturday. OK, this is going great, he seems really interested in me. Now it's been another week and a half and he seems to have lost interest or something. He will text if I text him, but hasn't initiated any communication himself. Also, we have no plans to meet up again soon. I don't know what happened. Is he just busy? Is he dating other people? Did he loose interest? Did I do something that turned him off?
 
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truegal is offline truegal Post #9  July 21,2009, 6:42pm
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OrlandoSocrates wrote :
Most likely he is no longer interested. While testing you is a reasonable theory, I don't believe that is the case. The only "testing" I would ever do is to see if there is genuine interest... looking for simple things like "Thank you for dinner". I wouldn't expect you to organize a date, but would look for some proactive confirmation. It sounds like you have clearly done that.

I know first hand that it can seem like a really great connection on one side, while on the other it is simply friendly conversation, but without the true fires of soul-mate connection... and it can take a couple dates to find out for sure which is which.
My question is this...why leave it to guessing. So why doesn't he just say something in an email, after all this online dating, "Hey, it was nice meeting you, but I feel at this point I'm just not feeling what I should" or " I've met someone else". WHYE TO PEOPLE DO THAT? It's just common kindness.
 
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cashncarry is offline cashncarry Post #10  July 22,2009, 4:23am
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truegal wrote :
My question is this...why leave it to guessing. So why doesn't he just say something in an email, after all this online dating, "Hey, it was nice meeting you, but I feel at this point I'm just not feeling what I should" or " I've met someone else". WHYE TO PEOPLE DO THAT? It's just common kindness.
Truegal, I agree with you 100%. It is just downright rude and inconsiderate to just drop out of sight. It's the "coward's" way out. They avoid the confrontation and possible drama. Either they find someone else, or they are afraid of their feelings and moving forward in a relationship. The latter is a stretch, but it's a possibility.

HHBT I feel for you. I've had the same thing happen to me recently. Met a lovely man, had a few dates with him. Last date he left me with the most amazing kiss good night. Then he dropped me like a hot potato with no word. I would never have thought this would happen. I've been tempted to write him and ask him what gives, but I hesitate to do so. I don't run after ANY guy, but it's the principal of the thing and we are entitled to some sort of closure.

I think we just have to move on and learn from the past. It's not an uncommon thing, it seems, that guys AND girls just stop communicating. They find someone else they think is better and that's the end. In the long run, we are better off and will find better.
 
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