1250abs is offline 1250abs Post #1  July 19,2009, 4:29pm
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i have met a lady at an online dating site. our ages are similar, we have the same interests, and we live close to each other. i'm really interested in her. however, she hasn't posted her picture yet. i have asked her to post one also, but no luck. i am 57 and aging nicely. she's 54 and i don't know if she looks over 60 or looks younger than her age. should i meet her or pass??
 
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tweet37 is online now tweet37 Post #2  July 20,2009, 10:39am
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DON'T GO ANY FURTHER WITHOUT A PHOTO. I'm not saying close the match, just don't go any further until she posts a picture. If you have posted yours and she won't post hers, something is wrong or she's playing games.
 
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Jedi_Scout is offline Jedi_Scout Post #3  July 20,2009, 10:42am
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My first question is: Have you posted a picture? If you haven't, then you should provide a picture to be fair. You can't expect her to do it if you won't.

If you have and she won't post or send a picture, then you're wasting your time. She may be shy, intensely private, trying to hide something, or thinks appearance should not be part of the selection process. However, the reality is that it's a control thing that gives her the advantage. The person who consistently says "No" is the person who has power in the relationship and that's not ideal.

Providing a picture is entirely within her control. Refusing to provide a picture to someone else who already has provided a picture of himself and has requested a photo is all about doing things her way. It may be a comfort issue for her, but if she's not going to listen to basic requests for minimal things, it's not a good sign for the future. She may not admit it but her conduct tells you she expects the relationship to be completely on her terms. It's her way or the highway.

Seriously, if it was going to go somewhere you would see her eventually so she might as well get it over and provide a picture.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #4  July 20,2009, 11:37am
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You live close to her? See what happens if you suggest you meet briefly for coffee. You'll see what she looks like in person then. If it's the same reluctance as the photo thing, she's hiding something, so forget it.
1250abs wrote :
i have met a lady at an online dating site. our ages are similar, we have the same interests, and we live close to each other. i'm really interested in her. however, she hasn't posted her picture yet. i have asked her to post one also, but no luck. i am 57 and aging nicely. she's 54 and i don't know if she looks over 60 or looks younger than her age. should i meet her or pass??
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #5  July 20,2009, 12:02pm
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If she is a profesional person or prominent in a community she will not post a photo. You can ask her to exchange personal e-mails and then ask her to e-mail a photo to you directly rather than posting it online but she may hesitate even about that.

Honestly though, so many people look so different from their photos and chemisty only happens in person. Rather than wasting time on e-mails and imaginary attachments to photos, suggest meeting for coffee. It's quick and cheap and if you don't like her, it's easy to walk away from that meeting. At worst, you'll lose a half hour of your time, at best, you'll meet a wonderful lady.
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #6  July 20,2009, 12:12pm
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She is either unattractive, or is trying to manipulate the situation to her advantage. Perhaps she does not find you attractive. Close and move on.
 
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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #7  July 20,2009, 12:13pm
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Speaking only from my experience here, about 80% of the women who don't have their photos posted from the beginning and then put them up later are "attractively challenged". Of course, that leaves the other 20% one of whom got around to posting her photo this morning. However just about as soon as I started GC, she closed me! lol
 
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angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #8  July 20,2009, 12:22pm
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I definitely would not pursue her any further without a picture. I had a 60 year old patient that looked 90-100 because of sun exposure as a young girl. I had no desire to go out with someone who looked liked she was my great grandmother.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #9  July 20,2009, 1:41pm
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There are way too many reasons why someone doesn't post a picture. I for one HATE the idea of a picture of myself floating around out there somewhere, but i reluctantly posted one because pictures get you more dates than not.......

However, I have gone out with people with no pictures. Many of them were quite attractive. In fact, the woman I'm in a relationship now on the cusp of marriage, did not post a picture. My opinion is if they're willing to meet you. Check it out and see. You never know. Worse case scenario, you're exactly where you are now. Best case scenario, you might end up marry the girl.
 
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tweet37 is online now tweet37 Post #10  July 20,2009, 3:21pm
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OK...Go meet her and report back. I'm dieing to say 'I told you so'. Let us know if I'm wrong.
 
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