ellen1955 is offline ellen1955 Post #1  July 19,2009, 2:35pm
ellen1955's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jun 2009

Maryland

Posts: 2

See profile

I am new to this. What is a message from Warren about before open communication?
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  July 19,2009, 2:45pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,651

See profile

Probably a suggestion for things to think about before composing your first open communication message?
 
  Reply With Quote
mspretty is offline mspretty Post #3  July 19,2009, 2:51pm
mspretty's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 9

See profile

he just gives you tips on how to keep it healty and so on
 
  Reply With Quote
DDjr is offline DDjr Post #4  July 20,2009, 7:29am
DDjr's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2008

Posts: 848

See profile

It used to be that the "Message from Warren" came up every time when you got to OC with someone. Obviously after the first time or two this would be annoying. Then it was changed so that it just hints at looking at it. You should read it once.
 
  Reply With Quote
neardc is offline neardc Post #5  July 20,2009, 8:21am
neardc's Avatar

Toodles, sayonara, and happy trails! Wishing everyone luck and love...

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 8,050

See profile

This is the message:

eHarmony works hard to provide you with matches that are compatible with your personality and values based on our study of successful relationships. I'm pleased that you have chosen to proceed to Open Communication with this match.

At this point, we want to give you some "rules-of-the-road" for communicating with, and eventually meeting someone that you have been introduced to through eHarmony, or any other website. Especially if this is your first time communicating with a match, please read through these carefully.

1. Always Use Your Best Judgment

eHarmony relies on the complete honesty of our users to create our compatibility profiles. Our system works hard to screen-out applicants who are not truthful. However, it is ultimately your responsibility to decide if someone is being truthful and honest. Don't ignore your instincts and please don't depend totally on eHarmony for evaluating a person you've been matched with. As with people you may meet under any circumstances, your judgment and instincts are necessary to protect yourself from deceitful individuals.

Here are some signs to consider: Watch out for someone who asks for money, uses vulgar language, asks inappropriate questions, or suggests sexual fantasies. Be careful of those who want to speed up the pace, tell you how to run your life, tell stories with inconsistencies, give vague answers to specific questions, urge you to compromise your principles, blame others for their troubles or are always speaking romantically. These are just a few of the signs you may want to think twice about before continuing.

2. Be Cautious Sharing Personal Information

We strongly encourage you to be cautious when sharing personal information that could reveal your identity. Our Open Communication system will let you communicate while remaining safely anonymous. Don't give out your name, e-mail or phone number until you feel you have truly gotten to know someone. Once you've given out personal information, you cannot take it back! We encourage you to use our anonymous communication system until you are ready for the next step: Talking by phone.

Speaking by phone to the other person is also a critical requirement in getting to know each other better. Before you share phone numbers make sure you have discussed the need to respect each other's privacy, and if either of you decide to end communication in the future, you will not use the phone number as a means to pursue an unwanted relationship. Most people prefer the man to offer his phone number to the woman and that she initiate any future phone calls, but you decide. Keep the first call to a short duration of 15 minutes or less.

3. Do Your Own Research

It is important to note that eHarmony does not perform background checks on its members. It is also important to note that our optional identity verification service, which is powered by our partner RelyID, is not a background check. We rely on the total honesty of our members when filling out the eHarmony relationship questionnaire to supply us with honest feedback such as Date of Birth, Marital Status, City and State of Residence, Occupation, Education Background and a myriad of additional items. Regardless of the connection you feel, we encourage you to do your own research before meeting in person. This can be anything from typing your match's name into a search engine, contacting your state or local municipalities to obtain public information, or using a paid service to obtain a full background report. Above all else, use common sense. Pay attention to the details someone shares and if you find anything that doesn't add up, follow your intuition and close the communication.

4. Make Your First Date Safe and Successful


Meeting in person is a very exciting time. Approach your first meeting with reasonable high hopes, but try to limit your expectations.
  • Make sure you meet in a public place, preferably during the day.
  • Before meeting in person, make certain to obtain your match's first and last name and as much information about them as possible.
  • Tell at least one friend or family member about your plans, and arrange to "check-in" with them after each of the first few dates.
  • Try and keep the first date to about an hour. Lunch dates generally work well.
  • If one or both of you are traveling a long distance, then arrange for a short first meeting and plan on getting back together, if you both agree, a few hours later or the next day. This takes some of the pressure off the first encounter.
  • Do not meet at your house or place of work, or give that information out until you have had a good opportunity to better know the person. Use your own transportation. Driving yourself will allow you to leave easily if things aren't going well.

5. Take Your Time


We can't stress enough how important it is for you to take your time getting to know your match. Be aware that on-line communication tends to accelerate one's sense of comfort and intimacy. We encourage you to use eHarmony's anonymous Open Communication system as long as necessary to find out
Remember that eHarmony's matching process does not eliminate the need for real life experience. Before you create a permanent relationship together we believe it is vital that both people date and get to know each other in a deep and revealing way. If possible you should consider living in the same area for a significant time. Realize that you will need to have a broad base of experiences together. The more experiences you have together, the better your chances of avoiding hidden surprises. Allow time for a variety of experiences together, particularly the simple everyday routine.

The fundamental goal of eHarmony is to help our users marry wisely. We believe that, regardless of your high level of compatibility, rushing into a serious or marital relationship is unwise. Always move slowly, learn about and pay attention to the reality of your new relationship, as well as your relationship goals.

6. Always be Respectful and Kind

Always be respectful and treat the other person as you would want them to treat you. Not every match is going to be right. Remember, eHarmony is about bringing two people together who have a solid foundation from which a long-term relationship would have a high probability of success. You still need to carefully consider whether this particular person is one with whom you would like to further a relationship. If you feel the need to end communication, then be honest, direct and polite. The sooner you address this determination the better for both of you.

7. Report Concerns About a Match to eHarmony

If you have concerns about a particular match on eHarmony, please don't hesitate to contact Customer Care so that appropriate steps can be taken to keep eHarmony the safest and best place to start a relationship on the web. E-mail your concerns to:
matchconcerns@eharmony.com.

I hope these guidelines will help to make your eHarmony experience a success, and that you will find your soul mate as so many others before you have done.

Sincerely,
Neil Clark Warren
Founder of eHarmony.com
Last edited by neardc; July 20,2009 at 8:25am. Reason: off line spacing apparently impossible to correct...
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Completely Confused | Ask a Dating Expert | Men who pull the disappearing act...why?? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
What to say in that initial message austinguy11 Using eHarmony 6 July 19,2009 5:58pm
Wierd closing message noj612 Using eHarmony 9 July 8,2009 8:37pm
What do you think of the new message board? pukeko Using eHarmony 4 June 2,2009 6:46pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I did everything. And the repairs where sure expensive. Grr!I paid for them too. :-/” –  LadyVee

Join the “Confusing Man (LONG STORY)” discussion

“I think people change their "type" depending on what they think they need at that point in their lives. It's so subjective that it might be best if we all just let someone else choose a mate for us ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Changing your "type"” discussion

“In the end, aren't we all winners?” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Last Post Wins!” discussion

“4: sex um. both our values hold sex for marriage, so the next best thing to do when you are driven by lust, i guess is making out? If sex equals marriage, then if his goal is to have sex with you, ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Confused~ He likes me or He wants sex?” discussion

“You know, profile writers remind me of junior high school. The kids who came into an exam clueless, and just rambled on and on, hoping that in there somewhere(?) might possibly be something that the ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “How much profile do you like to read?” discussion

“Chemical burns when one splashes around in nature are no fun! Tree farming, huh. Tax breaks or love of all things tree... Tax break. (I can make these calls, because I'm on the internetz.) He ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“The standard method is to eliminate alcohol and bread (and any other gassy carbs) from your diet. You can also try saran wrapping your midsection for a few days. I've heard that works but I haven't ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Belly Fat” discussion

“My boyfriend will be meeting my ex-boyfriend for the first time this weekend so I will let you know how it goes. He almost met him awhile ago so I thought about this before. I told my boyfriend that ... ” –  alethea

Join the “Hold on, hold on, hold on!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:26am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0