Is Dating Over During Menopause?


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JamieH is offline JamieH Post #1  July 18,2009, 5:02am
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I know this must be on alot of gals' minds. For those of us approaching menopause, what do we expect? Of course there are many articles out there to educate us on menopause symptoms and treatments (if needed). However, nothing to calm our worries about how it will affect dating?
  • Has anyone out there been dating during menopause that can share what the experience is like?
  • What happens when you get a hot flash in the middle of a first date?
  • Men seem to always comment about it and seem to hope it's behind you.
I'm spending alot of time worrying since it's tough enough being single at 49 without having to deal with added challenges.

Yikes!!! Any advice is appreciated.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #2  July 18,2009, 11:26am
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Yikes! Something new for me to worry about! I'm 48, and not there yet but it's gotta be on the horizon. Since I haven't experienced it yet I can't give concrete advice, except that a sense of humor overcomes a lot!

If you get a hot flash while on a date with a guy who attracts you, you can turn it into a flirty moment... "Man, it's hot in here... is it me or you?" said with a smile and laugh would, I think, compliment the guy while making you a bit less uncomfortable, too.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #3  July 18,2009, 12:01pm
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If the woman feels healthy and sexual, there should be no problem.For some men the birth control, PMS and all that out of the way is a good thing.
 
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Moxa is offline Moxa Post #4  July 18,2009, 5:55pm
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JamieH wrote :
I know this must be on alot of gals' minds. For those of us approaching menopause, what do we expect? Of course there are many articles out there to educate us on menopause symptoms and treatments (if needed). However, nothing to calm our worries about how it will affect dating?
  • Has anyone out there been dating during menopause that can share what the experience is like?
  • What happens when you get a hot flash in the middle of a first date?
  • Men seem to always comment about it and seem to hope it's behind you.
I'm spending alot of time worrying since it's tough enough being single at 49 without having to deal with added challenges.

Yikes!!! Any advice is appreciated.
Jamie,

The thing to remember is that easier transition will usually happen with an already healthy lifestyle. So stay or get healthy NOW! I've already gone through it but I had to learn the hard way. If I could go through the whole perimenopausal thing again knowing what I know now, I could have saved myself a lot of hassles.

I'm a big believer in natural supplements and holistic/naturopathic healing. I was not always this way. Some years ago I picked up the book Ageless, by Suzanne Somers. This set me on the path to doing more research as I began questioning some things about conventional western medicine. I had been on Prempro not too long before that big study was released that reported women where getting cancer from these synthetic hormones. The Prempo had made me ill so it was not a tough decision to get off of them even though the hot flashes were a pain. After reading Ageless, I knew I wanted to try bioidentical hormone replacement therapy. I found a naturopath that I was comfortable with and she has since helped me every step of the way with this and other health issues.

The hot flashes are gone, the brain fog has lifted and I feel sexy again. Every woman is different in this time of life. But I strongly believe that it all starts with healthy lifestyle.
 
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alexandra395 is offline alexandra395 Post #5  July 18,2009, 6:34pm
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All - I am 46 and hot flashes and night sweats are a part of my day. I am newly single - not quite in the dating scene. However, when the time comes I will keep you all informed. For now, I have been told that when I do have a hot flash, my face is slightly flushed, almost glowing?? A dear male friend of mine told me that it is actually becoming.

I'll keep you posted.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #6  July 18,2009, 8:34pm
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Every woman is different. Try not to stress yourself out about it before.

I was married at the time. But I had absolutely no trouble. No hormones either. If I ever had a hot flash it was so miniscule as not to be noticed. I didn't really notice any edginess either. Mine was a breeze.

Yours may be also. I'm a firm believer in positive thinking. If you expect trouble, you will likely get it. That's why I say not to worry.
 
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Spider is offline Spider Post #7  July 19,2009, 4:07am
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I'm 55 and just officially menopausal. I met my guy a year ago, and menopause wasn't a factor at all - except for the new freedom from worrying about contraception.

That said, everyone has a different experience. Consult your physician if you have troublesome symptoms, and just treat each occurrence as it happens.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  July 19,2009, 5:33am
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I say not to worry about something that is not a problem yet (this easy for me to say but not easy for me to do). If any "problems" you experience from menopause are a problem for the guys that you are dating then that just may be a sign that they are not the right guy for you.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #9  July 19,2009, 5:50am
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Moxa wrote :
Jamie,

The thing to remember is that easier transition will usually happen with an already healthy lifestyle. So stay or get healthy NOW! I've already gone through it but I had to learn the hard way. If I could go through the whole perimenopausal thing again knowing what I know now, I could have saved myself a lot of hassles.

I'm a big believer in natural supplements and holistic/naturopathic healing. I was not always this way. Some years ago I picked up the book Ageless, by Suzanne Somers. This set me on the path to doing more research as I began questioning some things about conventional western medicine. I had been on Prempro not too long before that big study was released that reported women where getting cancer from these synthetic hormones. The Prempo had made me ill so it was not a tough decision to get off of them even though the hot flashes were a pain. After reading Ageless, I knew I wanted to try bioidentical hormone replacement therapy. I found a naturopath that I was comfortable with and she has since helped me every step of the way with this and other health issues.

The hot flashes are gone, the brain fog has lifted and I feel sexy again. Every woman is different in this time of life. But I strongly believe that it all starts with healthy lifestyle.

Overall healthy is a HUGE deal, and nutrition plays a big part as well. I'm only 44, and started noticeably going through peri-menopause about 4 or 5 years ago. I had some truly horrific incidences that were making my life impossible. I won't go into details here.

I saw my doctor who wanted to do surgery and cauterize things that probably ought not to be... it was a little creepy. So I did some research on my own and started using something called Kokoro Balance Cream (you can get it online or sometimes at a GNC store) which made my problems completely vanish in about 4 days. No lie! I've tried a couple of other brands and they just don't seem to work anywhere near as well.

I talked to my doctor again and we settled on a vaguely similar remedy (PM me if you want details) that worked just as well, had some added benefits, and was completely covered by my insurance.

You really don't have to let it run your life, but you do have to show it who is boss!
 
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OverAnalyzer is offline OverAnalyzer Post #10  July 19,2009, 1:21pm
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JamieH wrote :
I know this must be on alot of gals' minds. For those of us approaching menopause, what do we expect? Of course there are many articles out there to educate us on menopause symptoms and treatments (if needed). However, nothing to calm our worries about how it will affect dating?
  • Has anyone out there been dating during menopause that can share what the experience is like?
  • What happens when you get a hot flash in the middle of a first date?
  • Men seem to always comment about it and seem to hope it's behind you.
I'm spending alot of time worrying since it's tough enough being single at 49 without having to deal with added challenges.

Yikes!!! Any advice is appreciated.
I just broke up with my bf of 2 years and started meno a few months ago, but have been perio for 10 years. Didn't cramp our style at all.

You don't know when a hot flash is coming it just comes. Some women refer to it as a power surge. They're great in the winter but not such fun sitting in traffic on a hot summer day. They're tolerable but temporarily uncomfortable. A sense of humor is a necessity.

I think the mood swings are what makes the guys nervous. If you are conscious of them you can handle them (ha, I guess that applies to the guys too ); if you give into them you're likely to spew darts for no good reason. Anger is wasted energy anyway, so try and channel it into something physical or creative.

Oh yeah, you might find yourself becoming forgetful so keep plenty of post-its around.

Don't worry about it, it's temporary. I hope this sounds light-hearted because that's how you should deal with it. Don't complain or cry or fret because you will feel worse. It's just yet one more thing women go through.
 
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