robohobo is offline robohobo Post #1  July 16,2009, 9:14pm
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Back in September of 08, I unfortunately attempted suicide. Luckily for me I failed, got into counseling and all that and am now a better person after going through counseling. However, the attempt left me with some pretty nasty scars. On my inner left forearm I have two 6 to 7 inch parallel scars running down my forearm.

I've only been on eharmony for about 2 weeks now and I haven't had any matches yet- but I'm worried that these scars will scare off any potential prospects. How should I go about handling this? Should I mention it on my profile? Or when my match and I start communicating?
Thanks.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #2  July 17,2009, 3:04pm
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If it was me, I would not mention it on my Profile. Or in any conversation or eMails prior to a meeting.

The reason I say that is it would scare me if I knew that. I would certainly hesitate. I'd have to give it an awful lot of thought.

I would not mention it unless and until it came up naturally in conversation. I would not be the one to bring it up, if I were you.

I say this because I have known personally two people who were successful in suicide, as well as one who was unsuccessful, but made numerous attempts. I know first-hand the devastation it can leave to those who care...

Good luck. I hope YOU are successful in living!
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  July 17,2009, 5:16pm
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I would not mention this at all …
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landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #4  July 17,2009, 5:37pm
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I agree with D Lion, I wouldn't mention it at all. If she sees them and asks about them you can tell her it was a painful time in your life and you made a mistake (we all do). Some people have scars that run deep that aren't visible at all, so give yourself a break young man and keep your head up. Best wishes.
 
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tweet37 is online now tweet37 Post #5  July 17,2009, 6:06pm
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I'd cover them with tattoos.
 
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chrlesmd is offline chrlesmd Post #6  July 17,2009, 6:11pm
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No need to worry about them. If someone asks, tell them you were in the FBI and that you'd require security clearance to finish the story. Good luck!
 
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Altejd is offline Altejd Post #7  July 17,2009, 6:50pm
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HMMM! Scars on one's arms? HMMM! How about having scars on your face? I have had over 30 women (every single one I've met), diss me because of my cleft lip! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!
 
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txbubba is offline txbubba Post #8  July 17,2009, 7:09pm

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if a match does not empathize with you on the orgins of your scars... i would suggest you move on until you do find a woman who can.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #9  July 17,2009, 11:42pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Hey, I have the scar from an unfortunate incident involving a bicycle and a number from using the kitchen knives after a few too many drinks.
Have you learnt not to drink and play with kitchen knives straight after? Get some take out instead - may cost a little more but might actually help extend your lifespan, so you can earn even more than that

OP,
I agree with the rest of the Amphibian advise. it is certainly not a profile or first date conversation. It can wait quite a while - definitely until you feel comfortable enough to explain the full story. Most women (well, at least this woman) would not hold your past suicide attempt against you, if the condition that caused it has been dealt with effectively. Of course, I would be more guarded and take things more slowly than usual, but I would certainly not dump you on that basis alone.

The only exception would be if you are on any kind of anti-depressants at present. If so, I would encourage you to reveal that within the first 3-4 dates. It may be a deal-breaker to some women and best discussed before feelings get seriously involved.

Good Luck and Good Health!
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #10  July 18,2009, 12:45pm
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Chainsaw accident........it's nobody's business.
 
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