ddonned920 is offline ddonned920 Post #1  July 15,2009, 3:00am
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I was married for 30 years and find dating interesting after the loss of my husband. I did meet someone that also lost his spouse and have been with him for more than a year. We get along fantastic and are great companions and love being with each other. Now here is the but, we are not sure if we are 'in love' with each other. So we are back online looking and obviously hard pressed to find someone that is even date worthy, we are both 50ish. Neither of us is sure if these feelings are due to our losses, he lost his wife 3 years ago and me 2 years, so we still see each other due to the great understanding of our situations. It's obvious to me we have strong feelings for each other and I don't know if this is a dangerous path I am leading myself down. Is it best to walk away and hope to find 'love'?
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #2  July 15,2009, 8:57am
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I think that what you need to do for yourself is to figure out what it is that you personally want and are looking for. Meaning - do you want to get married again? Why so or why not? Would it be better to have a great companion rather than a husband? What are you looking to get out of a relationship? What do you personally need?

It is quite possible that your connection in this case is nothing more than a rebound and you are now both looking for more since you both in a way helped each other heal. However, do answer the above questions for yourself before you jump in either direction. Before you can find what you want, it helps to have at least an idea of what and who you are looking for.
 
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angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #3  July 15,2009, 9:17am
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I am sorry for your loss. Although you may have already finished the grieving process based on my mother's experience you will always love dearly the one you lost. No one will ever replace him in your heart nor should you expect that to happen. It is possible to fall in love again though. I agree with the other poster that you need to evaluate what you want out of life at this point. You may discover that are happy with the way things are now. Do not let well meaning family or friends to influence your decision as they are not the ones who will have to live with the consequences. Good luck
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #4  July 15,2009, 9:39am
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I've had two husbands. One I loved. One I was in love with from the very first till the day he died. (actually, still) So I know the difference.

I would say that if either of you don't know you're in love with the other, you're probably not!

However, I see no reason to break it off. You enjoy each other's company. Where's the harm?

If either of you fall in love with someone else later, then it will be natural to break it off.

But I would wait and cross that bridge when I came to it.
 
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