confused_06 is offline confused_06 Post #1  July 13,2009, 11:24am
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Hey everyone, thanks for reading this and supplying any feedback you have.

I have met someone off of EH about 6-7 weeks ago, we have been on 6 or more dates and she has spent the night over 2 times ( no sex but there was play). This girl is amazing, has everything a guy could want and Im head over heals for her. She has openly admitted to dating other guys, think it was 2 of them actually. She states she wants to explore and find the one who is the right fit, but then tells me so many good things about me. Obviously she has some doubts about a few things, but who knows what that is right now. Call me old fashioned, but in my past normally around this point you decide to not date other people or move on especially after she had spent the night a few times. The last conversation we talked about a lot and the big question for me was how long can this go on for, not expecting an actual time frame she answered a month !!! Im already an emotional train wreck over this women and trying to remain a cool cucumber when talking to her is tricky. Is dating multiple people and being this open about it completely normal? Am i crazy to stick this out seeing could be going no where? I hate giving up, but when she has a busy life and dating 3 guys I only see her like once a week or so now.... what are some possible things I can do to really show her I do want to move forward like I have said and that she should choose me.
Thanks for reading!
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #2  July 14,2009, 10:42am
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Two is company four is a crowd? She can date anyone she wants until she is in a committed relationship. Are you dating others? If you want her exclusively then leave her to the boys and step out of the game, until she decides on only you, otherwise she has you and them so what's her incentive to be exclusive?
confused_06 wrote :
Hey everyone, thanks for reading this and supplying any feedback you have.

I have met someone off of EH about 6-7 weeks ago, we have been on 6 or more dates and she has spent the night over 2 times ( no sex but there was play). This girl is amazing, has everything a guy could want and I'm head over heals for her. She has openly admitted to dating other guys, think it was 2 of them actually. She states she wants to explore and find the one who is the right fit, but then tells me so many good things about me. Obviously she has some doubts about a few things, but who knows what that is right now. Call me old fashioned, but in my past normally around this point you decide to not date other people or move on especially after she had spent the night a few times. The last conversation we talked about a lot and the big question for me was how long can this go on for, not expecting an actual time frame she answered a month !!! I'm already an emotional train wreck over this women and trying to remain a cool cucumber when talking to her is tricky. Is dating multiple people and being this open about it completely normal? Am i crazy to stick this out seeing could be going no where? I hate giving up, but when she has a busy life and dating 3 guys I only see her like once a week or so now.... what are some possible things I can do to really show her I do want to move forward like I have said and that she should choose me.
Thanks for reading!
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txbubba is offline txbubba Post #3  July 14,2009, 10:55am

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so... right now, to her, you're another bull in the herd until she narrows it down to one of you?

screw that. she should have let those other guys go by now
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #4  July 14,2009, 10:57am
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Yes it is normal to casually date multiple people. Most, not all, will draw the line on intimacy - meaning that prior to that occuring they'll talk and agree to become exclusive.

The only thing that you can do is either be patient for a bit longer or lay it on the line and ask her to chose. She may agree or she may walk away.
 
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CNCFemale is offline CNCFemale Post #5  July 14,2009, 11:15am
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Listen, I'm a girl who would LOVE to date multiple guys. That is fine, while you are "dating" but if you've spent the night, wether doin anything or not, it should be a commitment. call me old-fashioned, but MOVE ON! She doesn't want you, or any of these others she's dating. She is doing what a lot of guys do. PLAYING THE FIELD. She's just flaunting it in your face. If she thought you were good enough after that many dates she'd have committed. Take your heart back and move on. She's a player, and always will be. Those people ONLY change in the MOVIES. JMHO.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #6  July 14,2009, 4:25pm
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DancingFool wrote :
Yes it is normal to casually date multiple people. Most, not all, will draw the line on intimacy - meaning that prior to that occuring they'll talk and agree to become exclusive.

The only thing that you can do is either be patient for a bit longer or lay it on the line and ask her to chose. She may agree or she may walk away.



I have to agree with this. It's likely she's "playing" with all the guys. I think it more likely she'll walk. But I also think in the long run, you'd be better off.

It's OK to date others. Even play around if she wants. But it's VERY poor form to throw it in your face. That's just not nice. Do you want a girl that's not nice to you?
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #7  July 14,2009, 4:50pm
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Six dates “openly” is longer than my experience.
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Doctora2012 is offline Doctora2012 Post #8  July 14,2009, 6:52pm
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Alright, I'll be straight with you.... Yes, I think it's okay to date multiple guys at once (I have in the past, and am truthful about it if asked). I don't, however, "play around" or "nearly have s**" with any of them. Frankly, I don't kiss any of them. I'll date, get to know them, and decide which one might be a good fit. This is just my experience and personal opinion. I wouldn't be trying to convince someone to choose me, especially if he's been playing around with other people (which I'd be assuming he's doing if he's playing with me).

Just curious...why are you intent on convincing her that she should choose you? I think dates are like interviews. We're not only looking to convince potential employers that we're the best candidate, but also looking to see whether the potential employer is the best fit for us. Don't give them (or women or men, whomever we date) all the power. You have a lot to offer. If this gal doesn't see it, then it's her loss and you can move on.....Next!


....Best wishes
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #9  July 14,2009, 10:00pm
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I don't think that you have much of a choice but to go with the flow.

I don't see her doing anything wrong here. I also did not get the impression that she was throwing anything in your face. At worst I think that she may tell you that so you don't get too deep with her in case she ends up breaking it off. She is holding you off but it really isn't working.

6 dates or so is not much at all. If you like her then stick it out & have a good time with her. I wouldn't overly wine & dine her. I also would flirt with & see other people as well.
 
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confused_06 is offline confused_06 Post #10  July 15,2009, 4:51pm
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THanks everyone nice to read other takes on this. I plan on sticking it out a little longer but have also started to look for others....

Cheers!
 
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