Is it normal to not be attracted to any of your matches?


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BadAtNickNames is offline BadAtNickNames Post #1  July 11,2009, 8:49pm
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When I used eHarmony, I wasn't attracted to any of my matches. Has this ever happened to anyone here?
 
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Teresa36 is offline Teresa36 Post #2  July 11,2009, 11:17pm
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I would say it is, as I do not have I am attracted to either.... disappointing
 
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dadist is offline dadist Post #3  July 12,2009, 5:38am
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Yes, I had pretty much the same experience on eH.
 
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bronte71 is offline bronte71 Post #4  July 12,2009, 5:52am
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I'm glad you brought this up-- I've been thinking I was just too picky! I've only rarely looked at a match's photo and felt an attraction (but reading their profiles squelched that ). There are some whose profiles made me feel attracted to them, because what they wrote made them seem funny or kindhearted, or it seemed that we had a lot in common.
 
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oostitch is offline oostitch Post #5  July 12,2009, 6:04am
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yep! the majority of my matches i did not find attractive at all. somedays i felt i was being too picky and i decided not to judge a book by its cover so i began communicationg with a guy i would normally not find attractive. i thought it might not be that important to focus on looks alone. i showed up for our date and it was like a trainwreck! i was in complete shock and im pretty sure he noticed. the picture he had posted on EH wasnt the best but he was frightening in real life. i decided at that moment that if i dont feel any kind of attraction towards their pics im not wasting our time!
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #6  July 12,2009, 6:17am
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oostitch wrote :
yep! the majority of my matches i did not find attractive at all. somedays i felt i was being too picky and i decided not to judge a book by its cover so i began communicationg with a guy i would normally not find attractive. i thought it might not be that important to focus on looks alone. i showed up for our date and it was like a trainwreck! i was in complete shock and im pretty sure he noticed. the picture he had posted on EH wasnt the best but he was frightening in real life. i decided at that moment that if i dont feel any kind of attraction towards their pics im not wasting our time!



LOL Live and learn.
 
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OverAnalyzer is offline OverAnalyzer Post #7  July 12,2009, 6:22am
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Regularly, and I read their profiles first. I'm also not going to lower my expectations to get matches, but it would be nice to get profiles from men who know how to spell simple words, talk in complete sentences, don't sound like their bike/car/truck/dog comes first or they live on Jupiter.
 
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PinkFlumingo is offline PinkFlumingo Post #8  July 12,2009, 6:32am
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I have 101 closed matches since signing up in March 2009 - all were closed for immediate lack of attraction on my part (some being in the "oh you have got to be kidding" category).

After actually communicating with maybe 3 matches in the last 4 months - I agreed to meet one. Someone mentioned trainwreck above - this guy was the goat under the train that caused the wreck! Not only were his pics from at least 10 years ago (he is now a pasty-white old man about 75 lbs heavier) - he lied about where he lived because he was afraid of being "outed" about online dating! Even asked me, should we ever be seen in public together again, to lie about where we met. WTF!

Maybe this side of eHarmony will be more productive and FUN!
 
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LavenderFields is offline LavenderFields Post #9  July 12,2009, 7:18am
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It is hard to find attraction when you cannot see the whole person (including mannerism, etc). So I say continue communicating. Now if you find somebody repulsive for X, Y, or Z; do close.
 
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sc4me is offline sc4me Post #10  July 12,2009, 7:48am
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LOL, I was just thinking about this very thing this morning. I have had 3 matches in the past couple of days 2 of which had no photos and very brief bios. The third had one picture, she lives 125 miles away but her bio was very sweet and well written. I wouldn't normally start communication with one like that, but I am going to give it a try. I've been on eHarmony 6 months ... I have not met a real match yet. I don't have a great deal of confidence that this works for the "average" person.
 
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