Is it normal to not be attracted to any of your matches?


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Jedi_Scout is offline Jedi_Scout Post #21  July 12,2009, 11:24pm
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Online dating is a numbers game. Instead of going to events or bars and maybe meeting some random person, every night we get matched with several people. It's a given that the vast majority are going to be rejects.

Using small numbers, if you get matched with 5 people per day for 30 days, you've been introduced to 150 people after a month. All of the people are available and looking for someone. Many of these people have posted photos of their choosing and written whatever they have to put themselves in the best light. We're not catching people on a bad hair day here.

The overwhelming number of matches I've had were with people I did not find attractive physically or as individuals, but this is an efficient way of being introduced to a large number of potential candidates without putting in major amounts of time.

I know this is one of eHarmony's lines, but patience is the key when sorting through the matches. I'm going through a crowd looking for someone that I find interesting. It's going to take time to find someone who catches my eye and has a similar interest in me.

That said, I wish there was a way to refine the criteria so I wouldn't get so many obvious mismatches.
 
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oostitch is offline oostitch Post #22  July 13,2009, 11:38am
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Jedi_Scout wrote :
Online dating is a numbers game. Instead of going to events or bars and maybe meeting some random person, every night we get matched with several people. It's a given that the vast majority are going to be rejects.

Using small numbers, if you get matched with 5 people per day for 30 days, you've been introduced to 150 people after a month. All of the people are available and looking for someone. Many of these people have posted photos of their choosing and written whatever they have to put themselves in the best light. We're not catching people on a bad hair day here.

The overwhelming number of matches I've had were with people I did not find attractive physically or as individuals, but this is an efficient way of being introduced to a large number of potential candidates without putting in major amounts of time.

I know this is one of eHarmony's lines, but patience is the key when sorting through the matches. I'm going through a crowd looking for someone that I find interesting. It's going to take time to find someone who catches my eye and has a similar interest in me.

That said, I wish there was a way to refine the criteria so I wouldn't get so many obvious mismatches.
youre absolutely right. i was getting about 10 matches a day and i did not like any of them. after one month that adds up to a hefty number of people looking for the same thing but there has to be somekind of physical attraction. i decided to just take it easy. i'll keep my EH account active and i trust that they will eventually match me with someone i will like and vice versa. if this is the person i'm gonna spend my life with then by all means take your time finding him!
 
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PR_Princess is offline PR_Princess Post #23  July 13,2009, 9:48pm
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Josh_81 wrote :
Well, I might have reasons for this.

Assuming that attractive guys (I'm apparently not one) live and work around me. I highly doubt any of them would ever need to use internet dating to find someone.

Attractive guys don't need profile help like I do (assuming that girls actually read what I write anyhow...I'm amazed that some of you look past a picture; mine don't get that far it seems)

Instead you have your choice of guys like me who are professional but a bit nerdy or the guys who are wierd and scary.

---------
As a guy looking for a girl, I am attracted to about 70% of my matches which makes me wonder if:

A: My matches are really non-paying misanthropic members who enjoy tormenting me.

B: Are girls with expectations too high or too narrow. Not tall enough. I'm 5'10"...if I were 6'10" I doubt we would be having this conversation.

-----------------------

I get 2 girls every day to at at least look at my profile and those usually end up saying, "I just found another guy."

Maybe there is still hope for me provided swine flu or WWIII takes out enough of the overflow of Bratt Pitt, Johnny Depp, Simon Baker, David Beckham and George Clooney look alikes, lol.

Sadly, I'm not metrosexual enough for you girls. I'm just a mild mannered shy guy who spent too many years in college.

I'm glad someone posted this...I was feeling guilty for being "picky" but I learned my lesson well with boyfriend #1 (from back in the day) who was not pretty inside or out....stopped me from seeing the good in people and just seeing the truth....so I would suggest boosting your confidence level because that is how #1 got to me. Professional & a bit nerdy is okay...but be comfortable and confident in yourself and what you have to offer. I'm on here because I've seen & experienced enough weird and scary
 
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CNCFemale is offline CNCFemale Post #24  July 14,2009, 11:01pm
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< taking Wootz off my list of "TO DO's" for tomorrow.>

As for the guy who's not metrosexual, well, all I can say is, not ALL women want a guy who has been polished, plucked, and spraytanned.

I don't know about anyone else, but I ain't exactly a hottie. I'd rather have a guy who can handle my agressive/outgoing type nature and spontaneous/bubbly personality than someone who's just plain HOT to look at and nothing inside worth being with.

I also like a guy who can SPELL and PUNCTUATE and CAPITALIZE correctly. I mean REALLY. Y'all are on a computer dating service, which I WOULD THINK say that you are at least a LITTLE computer literate. I hope enough to use spell check, even if it means copy/paste to WORD or OFFICE and use it before copy/pasting back here.

I know, big girls shouldn't be picky, but if ya ain't got any brains, what am I gonna do with ya? We all know big girls are smart cuz we stayed home during prom and read books.
Last edited by CNCFemale; July 14,2009 at 11:25pm.
 
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PANZERBOY is offline PANZERBOY Post #25  July 14,2009, 11:36pm
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OverAnalyzer wrote :
Regularly, and I read their profiles first. I'm also not going to lower my expectations to get matches, but it would be nice to get profiles from men who know how to spell simple words, talk in complete sentences, don't sound like their bike/car/truck/dog comes first or they live on Jupiter.
Great insight; I loved your comments. Best of luck to you!
 
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oostitch is offline oostitch Post #26  July 15,2009, 6:14am
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i agree with overanalyzer! i hate it when there's too many spelling errors in their profile! it's such an important thing to me. youre pretty much putting your life on a screen, the least you can do is make sure it's spelled correctly! you're not only presenting yourself through pictures, the rest counts too!
i also can't stand it when they mention their bikes more than once and every picture of them shows them on it. you like bikes, i get it! now get it off your 'most passionate' list, your 'hobby' list, your 'can't live without' list! jeez! i received a match with that exact situation, i thought maybe i could see above that and get to know the guy but everytime i look at his pics i feel like flushing my monitor down the toilet.
 
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Robecology is offline Robecology Post #27  July 15,2009, 10:54am

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OverAnalyzer wrote :
Regularly, and I read their profiles first. I'm also not going to lower my expectations to get matches, but it would be nice to get profiles from men who know how to spell simple words, talk in complete sentences, don't sound like their bike/car/truck/dog comes first or they live on Jupiter.
I am SO GLAD that I'm not the only one looking for good grammar and spelling among other things! I've been shocked by ladies (and men) supposedly with advanced degrees making simple errors; I hate to be judgmental, but this is a sort of red flag to me.
My general response to this thread is;
1. Be Patient! EH is NOT like the other sites! They are using computer analysis to get the closest to your preferences! Having said that;
2. Be careful about what you put in your "favorites" and "must haves".
3. Don't like what you've seen/read? Close the match. Not getting enough matches? Broaden your age range, etc. Make sure your favorites are visible to others, and download a variety of pics of you doing a variety of things to improve your odds.

I don't wish you good luck; I say we make our own; I wish that you "Make it Happen"....
 
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orangepenmen31 is offline orangepenmen31 Post #28  July 15,2009, 3:15pm
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I used to get about 2 new people a week, then when I started paying it went down to once a month (go figure). I canceled my subscription, and my numbers are back up again. And it's people that sound a lot more interesting. My rule of thumb is, if they are too lazy to check their grammar, what else don't they care about? Also, why is their profile only half done? It's hard for me to make a move on someone that's being so secretive, but I don't just close out right there because there could be something that for some reason they're too shy or embarrassed online to mention a certain aspect about themselves, yet will open up about it in person. I like to give the benefit of the doubt and see if they are worth at least one date. Most women are.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #29  July 15,2009, 7:24pm
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Can I please order a Hugh Jackman lookalike with Johnny Depp's personality, Brad Pitt's symmetry, Simon Baker's winning grin and George Clooney's devilish sparkle in the eyes?

If you can't find him, can you please find someone real for me, who looks like none of the above, but posesses all the above mentioned qualities, pleeeaaase...
 
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PR_Princess is offline PR_Princess Post #30  July 15,2009, 8:52pm
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IcecreamMoon wrote :
Can I please order a Hugh Jackman lookalike with Johnny Depp's personality, Brad Pitt's symmetry, Simon Baker's winning grin and George Clooney's devilish sparkle in the eyes?

If you can't find him, can you please find someone real for me, who looks like none of the above, but posesses all the above mentioned qualities, pleeeaaase...

I didn't know we were taking orders...I'll have that too with a side order of salad
 
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