Noway4me is offline Noway4me Post #1  July 9,2009, 4:01pm
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I have been with this man for 14 years. We have lived together all those years. No children. He said he did not want to get married from the beggining. Ok. But he never complained. We are on our second house. He pays the bills, his choice. I work too! I meet all the extra things. He is 10 years younger but old fashioned. I have shared and loved from my heart. Now, this relationship is not working, he says. He tells me I have to leave; after all this time. He wants me to stay until I can afford to leave. Great guy, NOT! I don't make as much money as he. He is smiling and happy, everyday. My heart is broken. I have no where to go. I am out of state. He wants to kiss good-bye every day! Am I insane or is he? He says, " I told you, I can't love you the way you want me too! After all these years?????
Too Stupid
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #2  July 10,2009, 4:11pm
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.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

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Are you on title to that house? If you are, get yourself an attorney, because you deserve half its worth.

I suspect you are not. I suspect he was smart enough not to put you on title.

I hope for your sake you managed to get some of the money on the first house put away for yourself. But I suspect that may not be the case, either.

In which case, this may just have to be a big learning experience for you. Life is not always fair.
 
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SoOverIt is offline SoOverIt Post #3  July 11,2009, 1:47am
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What I'm about to say may not sound like cotton candy and big warm hug. None the less it's a truth you can't escape.

No matter what the history, it's history. If he no longer wants to be with you then hanging on will only make you miserable. Forget about time invested, just look forward to your own life free of this partner. You can look after yourself financially and it's actually your responsibility to do so. The sooner you make the decision to do just that the less it's going to hurt.

No I'm not being insensitive, I'm being very practical. Thinking about what has been, what it meant to you and what you think it doesn't mean to someone else will only increase your own sense of injustice. While a sense of injustice may feel like something to hang onto, it's the one thing which will guarantee you years of unhappiness. It will also prevent you from ever moving on and finding someone worthy of you.

Try and see this situation as an opportunity to finally be available to someone who does want to make a lifetime commitment with you. Because you were never going to meet them while you held out hope on this one.

Coming from someone who has been there, and done that too.
 
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oostitch is offline oostitch Post #4  July 11,2009, 5:14pm
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i'm so sorry this is happening to you. you need to put on your thinking cap now and start planning on what to do though. do not sit and wait for the next bombshell to hit. 'he is smiling and happy everday' usually is not a good sign for the other partner who is being 'gently' pushed out the door. my father left my mother after 25 years of marriage so ive seen firsthand what 'i don't love you that way' can do. you need to find a lawyer. DO NOT give up on the house so easily. you have rights. youve been with this man for 14 years, that is considered a common law marriage and you may be protected.
 
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txbubba is offline txbubba Post #5  July 11,2009, 6:25pm

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sorry to hear this happened to you but what part of "i do not want to get married" did you not understand?
 
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