sbrae is offline sbrae Post #1  July 9,2009, 8:45am
sbrae's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 2

See profile

I have had a 4 year realationship with a guy I was just crazy about. His 37 year old married daughter decided she doesn't like me so I am not allowed to be included with any family functions and his family is huge. His wonderful family dumped him on my doorstep when he hurt his leg badly, had an operation and I took care of him during a 2 month recouperation. I finally told him that if he could not tell his family that I was his choice of mate and they did not have to like me, but they did have to show me respect and that I would be coming to family events with him. He said he could not do that to his family. We broke up. Now he wants to still be friends, have lunch, have me cut his hair (he pays me for this), talk on the phone often, etc. I still care for him deeply, so sometimes this is ok and I handle it, but sometimes it disturbs me and I get depressed when he leaves. I want to be adult with this. I love to see him but at times, I think this holds me back from moving on. I know that he is sleeping with other women. I have dated some, but have no attachments yet. We have been separated now for 3/4 of a year. I just don't know if I will ever get over my love for him.
 
  Reply With Quote
DDjr is offline DDjr Post #2  July 9,2009, 9:05am
DDjr's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2008

Posts: 848

See profile

You made the right decision. If you are not more important to him than his family then the best you're ever going to be is third or fourth fiddle.

Find someone that makes you their number one priority!
 
  Reply With Quote
j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #3  July 9,2009, 9:06am
j0hn8andy's Avatar

.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2009

California

Posts: 5,095

See profile

Well, you need to try harder! To get over him, that is...

How could you even respect a man who won't bring his lover home to his family? If his daughter is almost 40, how old is he? And he still can't stand up to his family. GEEEZ!

See the writing on the wall for what it is... If you want to give him one last haircut, charge him double and make it a bad one!




just when you think you've heard them all
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #4  July 9,2009, 9:09am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,737

See profile

I'm sorry this happened to you, but unfortunately he did not care for you as much as you cared for him. The way your SO's family and friends treat you is usually a good reflection of what he really thinks about you. If they do not respect you, that lack of respect came from him and the attitude that he conveyed to them about you.

Instead of staying in touch with him, cut off all ties and move on. You know deep down inside and said it yourself - for as long as he keeps hanging around your wounds cannot heal and it prevents you from truly moving on. You deserve so much better and you deserve to be in a happy relationship with someone who loves you and respects you. It's time for a spring cleaning and that means tossing him out of your life.
 
  Reply With Quote
timeless2 is offline timeless2 Post #5  July 9,2009, 9:19am
timeless2's Avatar

wants you to have a Hippo Gnu Eel!

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2008

Philliesland

Posts: 3,866

See profile

j0hn8andy wrote :
Well, you need to try harder! To get over him, that is...

How could you even respect a man who won't bring his lover home to his family? If his daughter is almost 40, how old is he? And he still can't stand up to his family. GEEEZ!

See the writing on the wall for what it is... If you want to give him one last haircut, charge him double and make it a bad one!


just when you think you've heard them all

omg tooo funny. but an amazing way to go. I agree 100%. Why not create a great life for yourself? Do you enjoy being happy? What do you enjoy doing? Do you have friends? There are people out there just waiting to love you for who you are.
 
  Reply With Quote
Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #6  July 9,2009, 10:03am
Wiseman2's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 6,264

See profile

Bravo for you that you stood up for yourself, what an insult to you about the family thing after 4 years. Now he has 2 strikes against him: he's a coward with regard to the family thing, and he's already with other women. Smile at this: Now, the family disrespect is her headache and you are free of this wimp
sbrae wrote :
I have had a 4 year relationship with a guy I was just crazy about. His 37 year old married daughter decided she doesn't like me so I am not allowed to be included with any family functions and his family is huge. His wonderful family dumped him on my doorstep when he hurt his leg badly, had an operation and I took care of him during a 2 month recuperation. I finally told him that if he could not tell his family that I was his choice of mate and they did not have to like me, but they did have to show me respect and that I would be coming to family events with him. He said he could not do that to his family. We broke up. Now he wants to still be friends, have lunch, have me cut his hair (he pays me for this), talk on the phone often, etc. I still care for him deeply, so sometimes this is OK and I handle it, but sometimes it disturbs me and I get depressed when he leaves. I want to be adult with this. I love to see him but at times, I think this holds me back from moving on. I know that he is sleeping with other women. I have dated some, but have no attachments yet. We have been separated now for 3/4 of a year. I just don't know if I will ever get over my love for him.
 
  Reply With Quote
oostitch is offline oostitch Post #7  July 9,2009, 11:45am
oostitch's Avatar

is trying to find happiness

Quick Study

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 77

See profile

everyones right, move on. you know what's the sad part? his 40 year old daughter will probably place him in a home when he gets older.
 
  Reply With Quote
brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #8  July 9,2009, 11:48am
brneyedangel's Avatar

would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

northeast Ohio

Posts: 4,590

See profile

DancingFool wrote :
I'm sorry this happened to you, but unfortunately he did not care for you as much as you cared for him. The way your SO's family and friends treat you is usually a good reflection of what he really thinks about you. If they do not respect you, that lack of respect came from him and the attitude that he conveyed to them about you.

Instead of staying in touch with him, cut off all ties and move on. You know deep down inside and said it yourself - for as long as he keeps hanging around your wounds cannot heal and it prevents you from truly moving on. You deserve so much better and you deserve to be in a happy relationship with someone who loves you and respects you. It's time for a spring cleaning and that means tossing him out of your life.
+1 Great advice.
 
  Reply With Quote
txbubba is offline txbubba Post #9  July 9,2009, 12:10pm

is not out of his mind - just out of bullets

Unregistered

Joined: May 2009

30.11°N 94.16°W

Posts: 453

See profile

if you charge him to cut his hair, then charge him money to listen to his psycho dramas, to have lunch with him, be his friend etc.

dump this loser
 
  Reply With Quote
Jedi_Scout is offline Jedi_Scout Post #10  July 9,2009, 6:55pm
Jedi_Scout's Avatar

is thinking about a road trip

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 39

See profile

If you can't go in the front door, don't settle for the servant's entrance. If his family is going to be an obstacle and he's going to let them decide for him, you have your answer.

Tell him and good luck and move on with your life.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Men after Money | Ask a Dating Expert | weight loss surgery »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Is talking to his family about every problem an issue? Peaches80 Relationships 17 January 28,2011 3:54am
When the weekend plan does not include you tennis50 Ask a Dating Expert 0 July 6,2009 3:35pm
Family to close? Diamondenims Ask a Dating Expert 14 July 3,2009 1:56pm
Nervous about meeting the family...when is the "right" time? Doctora2012 Relationships 12 May 24,2009 6:12am
Meeting the family confused514 Ask a Dating Expert 4 May 22,2009 9:54am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I did everything. And the repairs where sure expensive. Grr!I paid for them too. :-/” –  LadyVee

Join the “Confusing Man (LONG STORY)” discussion

“I think people change their "type" depending on what they think they need at that point in their lives. It's so subjective that it might be best if we all just let someone else choose a mate for us ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Changing your "type"” discussion

“In the end, aren't we all winners?” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Last Post Wins!” discussion

“4: sex um. both our values hold sex for marriage, so the next best thing to do when you are driven by lust, i guess is making out? If sex equals marriage, then if his goal is to have sex with you, ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Confused~ He likes me or He wants sex?” discussion

“You know, profile writers remind me of junior high school. The kids who came into an exam clueless, and just rambled on and on, hoping that in there somewhere(?) might possibly be something that the ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “How much profile do you like to read?” discussion

“Chemical burns when one splashes around in nature are no fun! Tree farming, huh. Tax breaks or love of all things tree... Tax break. (I can make these calls, because I'm on the internetz.) He ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“The standard method is to eliminate alcohol and bread (and any other gassy carbs) from your diet. You can also try saran wrapping your midsection for a few days. I've heard that works but I haven't ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Belly Fat” discussion

“My boyfriend will be meeting my ex-boyfriend for the first time this weekend so I will let you know how it goes. He almost met him awhile ago so I thought about this before. I told my boyfriend that ... ” –  alethea

Join the “Hold on, hold on, hold on!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:55am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0