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SouthernChristian SouthernChristian is offline
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The match I have now that is communicating only has 1 photo, the caption says " A very bad picture from 2003" . We finally got to OC and the first message I wrote, I asked him why he didn't have an updated photo posted. That was 2 days ago and I haven't heard from him, but really a bad picture that is that is 6 years old? why even post it?
- July 10th, 2009, 09:36 am
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legend29 legend29 is offline
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Michael1974 wrote :
Hi. You're not wrong for expecting people to post recent photos of themselves. I know some people have favorite shots that are a few years old and I think it is acceptable for these pics to be in people's photo albums, but they should also have pics taken within the past few months as well. I know some people hardly age over a decade, but still.
I disagree....unless the photos are labeled and dated... but how many people will be that honest? The temptaion is too strong for some people to just post the pics and not label honestly.

I update my pics every few months...none of my pics are more then 3 months old. Especially since my weight fluctuates from the winter to spring to summer months...and I get bored easily with my hair and am always doing something different wih it! For example, the pic on my eha profile is from April 2009...but I have already got bored and now wear my hair much longer.

I don't show my pics on eha because I might have to reprimand someone I dated from EH world that found me on the boards and wanted to know why I poofed on him. I'd have to put my hands on my hip and say quite bluntly :"Do you really have to ask????...I had to search for you in the restaurant and then you walk up to me and say 'Hi' looking 10-15 years older and at least 50-100 lbs heavier than your photo?" (where is the 'hands on hip' smiley when I need it?...*sigh*)

I mean, I have dated, and been in relationships with portly and/or much older men...I just get really frustrated at the mendacity and arrogance of men that feel it is acceptable to have your date searching high and low for them on a first date for a man that doesn't even exist (physically, that is) anymore!

Not to mention the dates where you decide to meet in front of the selected site, and I walk right past him, with him ay my heels calling my name frantically. That is scurry cause I live in a large urban city and having a man walking briskly behind me calling my name that I don't recognize may cause me to pull out the mace and spray first...ask questions later!

Mendacious people get on my nerves....So rude!

BTW: It especially ires me when people are dishonest about anything about themselves. It says to me that you are a shallow person ( and think I am shallow as well...which is truly insulting to me!), and feel so low about yourself that you feel you have to lie to get a date. I would date you anyway...despite your flaws...becaue I am not perfect either. If you can trust yourself to be honest about whom you are, that shows gumption and spunk...I admire those traits in any person. Just be you...hey...you never know, huh?

(Whew!!!!!...that was truly cathartic to get my rant and rave on...I really must do this more often!)
Last edited by legend29; July 10th, 2009 at 10:23 am. Reason: added more rants and raves!
- July 10th, 2009, 09:50 am
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adonna adonna is offline
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OMG. Too funny. I can relate. I had a date with someone that didn't even look like his picture. I just flat out told him that if he posted the real him, his responses would be into the real him. So he's wasting time with this bogus method.

He took his picture down after that.
- July 10th, 2009, 08:13 pm
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legend29 legend29 is offline
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adonna wrote :
OMG. Too funny. I can relate. I had a date with someone that didn't even look like his picture. I just flat out told him that if he posted the real him, his responses would be into the real him. So he's wasting time with this bogus method.

He took his picture down after that.
LOL...the mace episode is a true story. He's lucky I couldn;t open my purse quick enough!

I hear this from men a lot too, and you are so right. When people lie about who they are (looks, occupation, etc) they are short-changing themselves and are doomed to failure. It takes a lot of arrogance to assume that you are so cool people will overlook you being 25-50 pounds (or more) overweight or 10-20 years older. That takes lots of gall......and shows a personality flaw that is extremely unbecoming.

Just be yourself and allow people to get to know the 'real' you. That's my motto...and I'm stickin' with it!

BTW: Welcome to the boards!
- July 11th, 2009, 04:56 am
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ZisaGirl ZisaGirl is offline
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I've been online dating for 10 years. Yes, 1999 is the first year I logged into an OLD site!

Some of the men on the sites today have the SAME photos they had back then! So, some of these guys are in their 50's, but their photos show them in their late 30's! And some of the photos were old photos, back then, because when I met some of them back then, they looked older than their photos.

So beware...

I agree about dating the photos, and changing them every few months, as hairstyles (and weight!) fluctuates.

I had this happen JUST Thursday night! The guy's photo was fuzzy & far away. Failed to show that his 2 front teeth were about as far apart as his arms!
- July 11th, 2009, 01:48 pm
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Robecology That's me holding a bag of "Wake the f... up" coffee ! Loved the label!

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[quote=Moxa;666906]First of all just to let you all know, I'm a newbie at this online dating stuff. That may explain why I was so shocked when after a month of e-mails and some phone calls we have our first date and I find that he looked nothing like his photo. I feel this is so disingenuous of both men and women when they post very old photos of themselves. What purpose does this serve in the long run? We got along great doing e-mail and phone but I really expected to see the guy in the photo not someone so much older. I was devastated to say the least. We had a nice date but I'm just not feeling it anymore. I would have been okay with the guy in the photo but this isn't working for me. BTW, I am 54, he is 63 (so he says and he even looks older than that!).

Moxa; Here's a simple solution for future endeavors; just ask him/her to post a recent photo? It's become so easy to set your camera on day/date stamp, turn the camera on yourself, snap a shot and download it. That way months of email/phone calls are not wasted! I agree with this big-time! In this modern dating technology, we have a right to know what you look like CURRENTLY before we meet you. It took me 3+ years to end a relationship where she lied about her weight, showed up +10 pounds more than she said she was, and promised she'd lose it. Ugh...what a struggle that's been!.
- July 11th, 2009, 05:39 pm
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legend29 legend29 is offline
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[quote=Robecology;670667]
Moxa wrote :
First of all just to let you all know, I'm a newbie at this online dating stuff. That may explain why I was so shocked when after a month of e-mails and some phone calls we have our first date and I find that he looked nothing like his photo. I feel this is so disingenuous of both men and women when they post very old photos of themselves. What purpose does this serve in the long run? We got along great doing e-mail and phone but I really expected to see the guy in the photo not someone so much older. I was devastated to say the least. We had a nice date but I'm just not feeling it anymore. I would have been okay with the guy in the photo but this isn't working for me. BTW, I am 54, he is 63 (so he says and he even looks older than that!).



Moxa; Here's a simple solution for future endeavors; just ask him/her to post a recent photo? It's become so easy to set your camera on day/date stamp, turn the camera on yourself, snap a shot and download it. That way months of email/phone calls are not wasted! I agree with this big-time! In this modern dating technology, we have a right to know what you look like CURRENTLY before we meet you. It took me 3+ years to end a relationship where she lied about her weight, showed up +10 pounds more than she said she was, and promised she'd lose it. Ugh...what a struggle that's been!.
Haha...you are a newbie at online dating aren't you?

BTDT with asking for a recent photo. They send an old one anyway because I still spend the first few minutes of a date clutching the so-called recent photo searching for a match to it ...then some man walks up to me who I don't recognize at all!

Well...the good news is they can at least find me right away...'cause I don't play games like that and always have a very recent photo of myself. At keast one of us is not shallow and is honest!
- July 11th, 2009, 05:45 pm
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ZisaGirl wrote :
He finally admits to having "shaved" a few years off his online age. So, that put him into his 60's.
I see this all of the time. I look at a guys photo and then the age that he says he is and I know that there is no possible way that he is as young as he claims. Its annoying
- July 11th, 2009, 06:00 pm
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Michael1974 Michael1974 is offline
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legend29 wrote :
I disagree....unless the photos are labeled and dated... but how many people will be that honest? The temptaion is too strong for some people to just post the pics and not label honestly.
If there are vast differences between an old photo and the person's current look, it is going to bite the person in the end. For myself, if I was talking to a woman who had a photo or two from 1999 and she still looked the same, it wouldn't be a big deal.
- July 12th, 2009, 02:46 am
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FengShuiBlackBelt FengShuiBlackBelt is offline
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I've been accused of using old photos even when they were only days old. I think from now on I'm going to hold that day's newspaper next to my face in every new picture. :lol:
- July 12th, 2009, 10:28 am
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