I am blessed with a few incredibly close friends, and so my reflex when I see the phrase "best friend" is to see their faces and feel warm and safe inside. Makes me sad that someone gave you that door to come through, and then closed it. Would've broken my heart.

To tell you about what this female looks for, let me tell you about a few of their characteristics.

I met each in a different way--and today only one lives here in St. Louis--but each means so much to me that when they are in need, I drop everything. Which they have done for me. We've been through the easy parts long ago, we've hit our bumpy roads and made it through those, too. With one, we hit a disagreement so hard we chose to take a bit of a break from each other until we could sort it out...this last one is actually my closest and longest time friend. Who knows every secret, even the ones I don't know. Who knows me better than I do, and still cheers me on, sets me straight, and cries with me. The day my dad died, she flew to DC from Phoenix within hours, and was my quiet strength. Something happens to her, and I worry about her until I know she's doing better--or just hop a plane and show up. I don't have to talk to my closest friends every day to know I love them and they love me back, unconditionally. I just know it in my gut, and don't have to burn the phone lines to make sure.

One is a male friend I actually met online years ago. We decided on one of our first dates we made better buddies than dates--we hung out together for who knows how many years & how many ballgames and could talk about everything. Cool difference with an opposite sex best friend is the perspective they give you when you talk about anything from work to politics to dating woes and successes. Couple years back he brought me someone he'd met that was very special to "look over". I danced at their wedding, and now she is a beloved friend with whom I may one day be "best".

So what might I want in a man, were I to say "best friend"? Someone who stands the test of time, who may make mistakes but owns up to them and gives me the space to do the same. Someone with whom I have taken the time to get to know in many ways, including ways/means I am not so keen to show anyone. Someone, that when we hit a wall and really are in jeopardy--we find a way through it and come out stronger and more trusting in the end.

None of this comes in dates 1-6. Maybe year 6, maybe earlier. Not sure the exact moment of it when it happens, but just find that someone new has moved into a very private place in my heart and I will do anything I can to be there for them and make them happy--as they will do for me.