ChristOne is offline ChristOne Post #11  July 6,2009, 11:09pm
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For me ..if I tell a man "I just want to be friends" I have no desire to go any further in the relationship at that point... If it works out as friends and we get along...I have to decide if I want the relationship to progress to the level of romance and kissing and making out... then we have passed the "friendship" level and have become "lovers" and you hope you will always be friends but it often doesnt work that way. I would Never get romantically involved with just a "Friend" and especially a "Best Friend" Old-Fashioned
 
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soawesome is offline soawesome Post #12  July 6,2009, 11:58pm
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I have treasured all my past loves and remained friends with all but one (not an interesting story), but there has only been one that was my lover and also my best friend. Don't be fooled. We have different expectations of our best girl and guy friends than we do of a significant other who is supposed to be our best friend. Yours is a good question that i don't think i can answer. I know it has foundations in uncondonditionality (word?) and trust. But I also know that while it's something i aspire to, it isn't something I expect. It has to develop and once it's there, it's there. I'm guessing this doesn't help - but i hope it does.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #13  July 7,2009, 4:04am
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ChristOne wrote :
For me ..if I tell a man "I just want to be friends" I have no desire to go any further in the relationship at that point... If it works out as friends and we get along...I have to decide if I want the relationship to progress to the level of romance and kissing and making out... then we have passed the "friendship" level and have become "lovers" and you hope you will always be friends but it often doesnt work that way. I would Never get romantically involved with just a "Friend" and especially a "Best Friend" Old-Fashioned
Usually when you tell someone "I just want to be friends", they move on and find someone who is interested in them in a romantic way.
 
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Robecology is offline Robecology Post #14  July 7,2009, 3:46pm

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StlRock wrote :
Ok all of you dating experts...and anyone else who feels the need to chime in. I need to here opinions about what a BEST friend is. I keep hearing it over, and over, but what does it mean? I have my idea, but I really like hearing from all of you. PLEASE help me on this one, as it may just help me get over another hurdle.Thanks and much love to all,

Chris
The first three answers are a clue; all referred to dogs, or pets as the best of friends. Brneyedangel's first clue was "non-judgemental" . The combination? a best friend is the best at expressing what dogs do so well; "unconditional love" or friendship. You make an error in judgement? They're still there for you. They give advice if asked, but often only if asked. They show appreciation and affection for no particular reason. And they're soooo hard to find and keep. Ken Keyes, author of "Handbook to Higher Consciousness" talked a lot about that needing to exist in a relationship. Check him out.
 
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StlRock is offline StlRock Post #15  July 9,2009, 5:20pm
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Thank you alll for some very thoughtful answers. Some of the answers got away from my question, so let ,me try to clarify my situation for you. When I married, my wife told me I was her best friend. Robecologies reply as well as some others was my idea of what a best friend was. Sadly, my exes idea was quite different as she turned out to be very passive aggresive, and could never share her deeeep thoughts me. When she finally asked for a divorce....I never really got a full reason, and of course.....this really hurts. I saw on this site that allot of women say they are looking for a "nice guy", and someone they can be "best friends" with. Having gone through all of the turmoil that I did (said she didn't love me the last four years), and ended up with hubby # 1.....I had become very cynical when I started seeing this on so many profiles. You see....I am that "nice guy", and trust and loyalty was # 1 with me. So the bottom line was I wanted to get some idea of what women really meant when they said this. It is not..."lets just be friends", as some thought. I have been around long enough to get that response. Thanks again everyone
 
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