How do women feel about pre - Marriage Contracts?


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Bandmate is offline Bandmate Post #61  June 30,2009, 6:47pm

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We have these problems because people like to steal from one another,it's much easier to steal than to work.
 
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yeoww is offline yeoww Post #62  June 30,2009, 11:36pm
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YoungTexan wrote :
..."Seriously though, how do women feel about the infamous pre - nuptial agreement? Do they think it is a signals a lack of faith or trust? Would it be a deal breaker?
Personally? I wouldn't leave home without one
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel — Advice Member-Moderator Post #63  July 1,2009, 12:38pm
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I can understand why a pre-nup would be advantageous in certain situations. I have only ever been in one situation where I thought I would be faced with one, and not once did he ever raise this topic with me. Not all wealthy people feel the need for these contracts. Not all people are looking to steal from others, either, though I will admit that there are enough people like this out there to have left a bad taste in the mouths of those who have been swindled.

Would I agree to one? That's a tough one. It is my goal to marry once and only once in my life. Some people will probably laugh and say I'm and idealist and that I'm wishing things of fairy tales, but that's why I'm still single--I have not found "the one" who I feel is willing to make that kind of a commitment to me yet. I take the vows of marriage very seriously, mostly because of my beliefs and partly because of how my parents' divorce affected me (it wasn't "fashionable" when they did it, and I knew no one whose parents had done this).

Bearing this in mind, I would say no, I don't think I could sign one. There are those who might be tempted to say that I'd change my mind if I was in their shoes, but we'll never know that, will we? I've never been interested in money or materialistic things that I could convince others to provide to me with their hard earned money if I was into those things--that's not what I'm about. However, I have always been interested in substance and character. In the end, that will get you further than money ever will in my book, because it goes as easily as it comes, but if a man truly has substance and character, those qualities will stay with him as he faces life's challenges.

I think our society places far too much emphasis on money and things, and I think pre-nups are a direct result of that emphasis. Please understand, though, that I am not saying that anyone who would sign one or request one is wrong; I am just saying that it is not for me.
Last edited by brneyedangel; July 1,2009 at 1:42pm. Reason: left out something pretty important
 
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AustinShaguar is offline AustinShaguar Post #64  July 1,2009, 1:54pm
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This is why a pre-nup should be taken seriously:

http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...g-new-guy.html (Separated 3 months and she's already moving in with the new guy.)

Hmmm, I guess this fella thought the love would last forever. It just goes to show you that you NEVER really know someone as much as you think you do. Probably thought she was a person of high integrity and character. Just sayin'
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel — Advice Member-Moderator Post #65  July 1,2009, 2:21pm
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AustinShaguar wrote :
This is why a pre-nup should be taken seriously:

http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...g-new-guy.html (Separated 3 months and she's already moving in with the new guy.)

Hmmm, I guess this fella thought the love would last forever. It just goes to show you that you NEVER really know someone as much as you think you do. Probably thought she was a person of high integrity and character. Just sayin'
While I completely respect what you are saying, and I have been following the thread you mentioned your post, I'm going to have to stick to my guns on this one. I truly think there is more to that story than is being shared, so in this one instance, I'm going to have to disagree with you.
 
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IsHeForMe is offline IsHeForMe Post #66  July 1,2009, 8:47pm
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I honestly believe the only reasons to have a pre-nup are if you have a large successful family business that needs to be protected, or maybe you own a family estate that will be inherited by other family members. Most things can be protected in the form of a trust and the rules can be set when you establish a trust.

I personally feel that if you are in a relationship and you intend to marry the other person, and you are already thinking things may not work out, then you may need to think a little more about whether or not she is the right person.

Yes, it is true that many marriages end in divorce, but if you go into your potential marriage expecting that this may happen, then you may need to reconsider marriage. Have you ever discussed the topic of pre-nups with your partner? Just to get a feel for things?

If you marry this woman and subsequently build a life together and (I hope) increase your wealth significantly, then you have done this together. You may be the one in the office, but she is also working to build the marriage, the family, the home. It should be an equal situation. Saying "if and when we split, what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours" isn't something that parallels with "equal partners".

Personally, I have never been in a situation where I have been faced with a potential pre-nup, but the concept does make me feel a bit uneasy. I am a loyal faithful person and I'd like to think that when I commit to a man (marriage), I am in it for the long haul. In sickness and in health. In good and bad. In richer or poorer. I also would like to think I wouldn't want something I didn't deserve. I don't think I have rights to 1/2 of a man's assets, unless of course I have spent my life raising his children, running and keeping a healthy home and dedicating myself to supporting him.

It's all about equality. To enter into marriage, you need to be willing to share all of yourself with her. If you can't do that, then please think more before proceeding.
 
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DanielJr82 is offline DanielJr82 Post #67  July 1,2009, 9:18pm
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After some consideration, I think a pre-nuptial would be a deal breaker for me. I don't want to marry someone who already has a mindset on failure, or a "just in case" back up plan. It's marriage, you work things out together. Fulfill your promise you made at the freggin' altar, don't give me this pre-nup b.s.
 
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Bandmate is offline Bandmate Post #68  July 2,2009, 3:56pm

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DanielJr82 wrote :
After some consideration, I think a pre-nuptial would be a deal breaker for me. I don't want to marry someone who already has a mindset on failure, or a "just in case" back up plan. It's marriage, you work things out together. Fulfill your promise you made at the freggin' altar, don't give me this pre-nup b.s.

Well this pre nup b.s as you put it comes from the insane idea that what one has worked hard for and earned becomes the property of another for the utterance of two words....that is B.S
 
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Bandmate is offline Bandmate Post #69  July 2,2009, 4:06pm

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IsHeForMe wrote :
I honestly believe the only reasons to have a pre-nup are if you have a large successful family business that needs to be protected, or maybe you own a family estate that will be inherited by other family members. Most things can be protected in the form of a trust and the rules can be set when you establish a trust.

I personally feel that if you are in a relationship and you intend to marry the other person, and you are already thinking things may not work out, then you may need to think a little more about whether or not she is the right person.

Yes, it is true that many marriages end in divorce, but if you go into your potential marriage expecting that this may happen, then you may need to reconsider marriage. Have you ever discussed the topic of pre-nups with your partner? Just to get a feel for things?

If you marry this woman and subsequently build a life together and (I hope) increase your wealth significantly, then you have done this together. You may be the one in the office, but she is also working to build the marriage, the family, the home. It should be an equal situation. Saying "if and when we split, what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours" isn't something that parallels with "equal partners".

Personally, I have never been in a situation where I have been faced with a potential pre-nup, but the concept does make me feel a bit uneasy. I am a loyal faithful person and I'd like to think that when I commit to a man (marriage), I am in it for the long haul. In sickness and in health. In good and bad. In richer or poorer. I also would like to think I wouldn't want something I didn't deserve. I don't think I have rights to 1/2 of a man's assets, unless of course I have spent my life raising his children, running and keeping a healthy home and dedicating myself to supporting him.

It's all about equality. To enter into marriage, you need to be willing to share all of yourself with her. If you can't do that, then please think more before proceeding.


if that is what it's realy all about then i'm sure you would leave a marriage with only what you had coming into it unless there were children involved or you had some part in earning the assets in question....some people are not that way....they want to leave with a whole lot more than what they came with whether they played any part in earning it or not...it these people for whom prenups are usualy needed.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #70  July 2,2009, 4:41pm
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Bandmate wrote :
We have these problems because people like to steal from one another,it's much easier to steal than to work.
That's my red stapler.
 
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