anaise87 is offline anaise87 Post #1  July 2,2009, 8:20am
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My bf and I have been together for 5 months. I've noticed this monday he doesnt say I love you anymore after getting off the phone. We live in miami and he told me yesterday that he is going to move to northern florida for his job. I couldnt believe that after that he said now you could go to the military like you wanted to and if not I'll drive down to see you every weekend. I dont believe in long distance relationships. I have mentioned a couple of times that I wanted to go to the military but I told him only if there wasnt controversy among Iran and etc..but the fact that Im already in college it wouldnt be an option. after I asked him about moving, he said he was just joking because he was upset at me but i feel he still wants to go. he loves his job and would do any adjustments for it. Is this a sign that he wants to break up?
 
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cooltattoos is offline cooltattoos Post #2  July 2,2009, 8:45am
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I am wondering if you are considering him. Most often we tend to get a little over emotional when things don't go the way we think they should. During these times you have a great opportunity to sow seeds. You get out of relationships, what you put in to them. My advice to you is start sowing the kind of seeds that will reap the kind of harvest you want and expect from your friends.

I truly believe that you will overcome this situation if you follow this advice.

Good planting,
Cooltattoos
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #3  July 2,2009, 8:47am
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Let's see... He's moving away, he knows you don't believe in long distance relationships, and he's quit saying "I love you."

Yep, he's disengaging from the relationship. He may not WANT to break up, but he no longer sees it working long term for you two. Guys are terrible about actually breaking up with someone. He'll probably just keep withdrawing until you get angry enough about it to break up with him... then he can blame the break up on you.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #4  July 2,2009, 8:49am
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Only he really knows what's on his mind. This is where asking him that question would be better than trying to read guesses from strangers. You both need to figure out where you are at relationship wise and where you want it to go. You've got to communicate with each other directly rather live on guesses and half baked clues.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #5  July 2,2009, 9:17am
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Have to agree with below statement, he may be considering someone else and is distracted, feels guilty. As for the out-of-town work, actions speak louder than words, he's thinking of moving From you not Towards you, he may have more and more reasons to be out of town,etc. Most likely other women he's considering.
Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Let's see... He's moving away, he knows you don't believe in long distance relationships, and he's quit saying "I love you."
Yep, he's disengaging from the relationship. He may not WANT to break up, but he no longer sees it working long term for you two. Guys are terrible about actually breaking up with someone. He'll probably just keep withdrawing until you get angry enough about it to break up with him... then he can blame the break up on you.
 
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Rob_UK is offline Rob_UK Post #6  July 2,2009, 9:54am
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DancingFool wrote :
Only he really knows what's on his mind. This is where asking him that question would be better than trying to read guesses from strangers. You both need to figure out where you are at relationship wise and where you want it to go. You've got to communicate with each other directly rather live on guesses and half baked clues.
Quite right! it is wrong to say that men are terrible at this and that but many guys just try to do things with as little harm as possible - it is not a case of deflecting any "blame".

Just speak to him, be honest with each other, if something important is a problem that can't be resolved then you may want to think about moving on
 
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DIVISION is offline DIVISION Post #7  July 2,2009, 10:20am

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anaise87 wrote :
My bf and I have been together for 5 months. I've noticed this monday he doesnt say I love you anymore after getting off the phone. We live in miami and he told me yesterday that he is going to move to northern florida for his job. I couldnt believe that after that he said now you could go to the military like you wanted to and if not I'll drive down to see you every weekend. I dont believe in long distance relationships. I have mentioned a couple of times that I wanted to go to the military but I told him only if there wasnt controversy among Iran and etc..but the fact that Im already in college it wouldnt be an option. after I asked him about moving, he said he was just joking because he was upset at me but i feel he still wants to go. he loves his job and would do any adjustments for it. Is this a sign that he wants to break up?
You've only been with him for five months.

The relationship hasn't lasted long enough to really develop and all the signs are there that he's already gone.

Once a guy disengages, it's over.

Might as well chalk it up as a learning experience and move on as well.
 
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