christajoy is offline christajoy Post #1  June 30,2009, 5:23pm
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I started dating a guy 9 months ago. and theeling isn't there. he wonders why i dont show affection for him and its because im not attracted to him whatso ever. we have broken up about 5 times and some how we always get back together. i feel like were barely friends. but her= cares for me so much.

thats not all. before we started dating i had a sexual relationship with his friend. and even though me and his friend arent sexual anymore i still have such strong feelings for him. i cant get over it. i told him how i felt and he was angry that i still had feelings for him while i was dating his friends. I'm in love with his friend.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #2  July 1,2009, 6:52am
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.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

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Are you for real? Hard to tell.

I'm getting that "It's all about me" feeling.
 
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txbubba is offline txbubba Post #3  July 1,2009, 8:14am

is not out of his mind - just out of bullets

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sleep around with some more of his friends. that'll get rid of him
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #4  July 1,2009, 10:40am
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christajoy wrote :
I started dating a guy 9 months ago. and theeling isn't there. he wonders why i dont show affection for him and its because im not attracted to him whatso ever. we have broken up about 5 times and some how we always get back together. i feel like were barely friends. but her= cares for me so much.

thats not all. before we started dating i had a sexual relationship with his friend. and even though me and his friend arent sexual anymore i still have such strong feelings for him. i cant get over it. i told him how i felt and he was angry that i still had feelings for him while i was dating his friends. I'm in love with his friend.
Why on earth are you dating this guy if you don't have any feelings for him and the two of you are barely friends? You aren't doing yourself any favors by staying in a relationship that makes you unhappy, and you definitely aren't doing him any favors by stringing him along.

Put yourself in his shoes for a minute. Pretend that you really care for him, but that he doesn't care for you at all and that he really has feelings for one of your best friends. Wouldn't that make you feel used? (I'd feel like he was sticking around so he could see my friend, not so he could be with me.) Would you really want him to stay with you just because you care about him?

No matter what way I look at this, it's just adds up to being a bad thing all around. So ask yourself, why are you really with him? Is it because you don't want to be alone? That's not a good reason. Is it because you want to be able to see his friend? That's not a good reason, either. Is it because you don't want to hurt his feelings? I'm sorry, but that's not a good reason, either. No one wants to hurt anyone, but unfortunately, that's part of the risk we take when we get involved in relationships.

As far as the anger is concerned, I can't quite figure out if the guy you are seeing is angry or if his friend is, but it doesn't really matter--to be honest, either one would be justified in this case.

Relationships are about thinking about more than just ourselves. When they become more focused on "me" and less focused on "us" they start to fall apart and tend to lose their purpose. I think you're seeing the results of that here, and that you should let him go and move on for the sake of you both.
 
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oostitch is offline oostitch Post #5  July 1,2009, 10:50am
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that's a horrible situation. why would you do that yourself? and how would you feel if someone you're deeply in love with sleeps with your sister or your bff? you need to come clean to the guy that really matters, not the friend you had a fling with and probably doesnt care about you, the one who's been putting up with you.
 
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dnnmllr is offline dnnmllr Post #6  July 1,2009, 10:52am
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christajoy wrote :
I started dating a guy 9 months ago. and theeling isn't there. he wonders why i dont show affection for him and its because im not attracted to him whatso ever. we have broken up about 5 times and some how we always get back together. i feel like were barely friends. but her= cares for me so much.

thats not all. before we started dating i had a sexual relationship with his friend. and even though me and his friend arent sexual anymore i still have such strong feelings for him. i cant get over it. i told him how i felt and he was angry that i still had feelings for him while i was dating his friends. I'm in love with his friend.
It seems you have not yet "resolved" the past. This is necessary...... It is really not fair to the man you have been involved with to not know the "truth" as it is wrong to "play" with someones' emotions. As to answering your question, I believe you know what to do.

I wish you well.
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #7  July 1,2009, 4:06pm
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You've broken up 5 times in 9 months and you like the friend that you can't have? Why do you keep breaking up and then get together again? You must like this guy or the attention he gives you. This unstable relationship situation sounds too chaotic. I'd say make a decision and stick with it, also respect other people's friendships and set a boundary in the future.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #8  July 1,2009, 4:35pm
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Nothing to see here at all...

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You should always follow your "theelings", and let this poor guy get on with his life. He is not a toy, he is a human beeing. So please allow him an opportunity to find a woman, who will reciprocate his theelings.

I personally wouldn't date his friend either, but if you believe that you are truly in love with him, then give it shot. But remember that the friend you are in love with is human too. Think about your motivations carefuly before you set out on the next crusade of breaking hearts and friendships.

Good luck!
 
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meanminicooper is offline meanminicooper Post #9  July 1,2009, 5:06pm
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LOL, where's the "No drama women" thread when you need it?
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #10  July 1,2009, 5:17pm
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meanminicooper: amen!
 
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