When is someone being too picky?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
niceGuyMakinIt is offline niceGuyMakinIt Post #1  June 29,2009, 9:37pm
niceGuyMakinI…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 4

See profile

I recently had a date with someone that I was not at all physcially attracted to. We had a heart connection and got along intellectually... but that was it. I gave it a chance, but later ran into troubles because there was just simply no physical attraction. Where's the balance? Do we stuff it and suffer for the sake of trying to be the nice guy? Or do we realize that we have to not only be honest to others but also to ourselves?
 
  Reply With Quote
j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #2  June 29,2009, 9:58pm
j0hn8andy's Avatar

.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2009

California

Posts: 5,095

See profile

We are who we are. Most people need physical attraction as well as being able to really talk to a person.

If you would not want to spend all night loving her & wake up tomorrow wanting to do it all over again, you should move on & allow her to find somebody who thinks she is God's gift...
 
  Reply With Quote
calmlake is offline calmlake Post #3  June 29,2009, 10:23pm
calmlake's Avatar

Is she looking for me? I'm looking for her...

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2009

Maine

Posts: 9

See profile

I'm curious about how you felt about her picture, if she had one up, before you met her. Was she attractive in the pic but not in person? I've experienced that before. After our meeting I spent some time really thinking about where to go from there. Like you, my match and I had a great connection intellectually--and in many other ways too-- and I really wanted her to be the one. But I was not physically attracted to her. I ended up going ahead and staying with her b/c I cannot imagine finding another person who I want to be with more than her. I should say that she does not look bad, but she just wasn't attractive to me.
In your situation, is she someone who is not bad looking but just not really attractive to you? If so, do you think in time you might see her differently than you do now? Sometimes the physical attraction develops as your love for the person deepens. If any of this resonates with you then I'd say give it a chance. If not, then let her go and give both of you a chance to find someone who is a better overall match.
Do you know how she feels about you? I found out later that my match wasn't attracted to me at first either! But we're both happy just the same.
good luck on working this out.
 
  Reply With Quote
niceGuyMakinIt is offline niceGuyMakinIt Post #4  June 29,2009, 10:42pm
niceGuyMakinI…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 4

See profile

I have met women that were physically attractive to me... at first, then I met them and somehow they became ugly. So I get the "over time" thing. In fact I was looking for it and hoping it would happen.

Nope... didn't happen.

She said all the time that she was very attracted to me. I just couldn't recipricate no matter how hard I tried. Then, when it came to sexual encounters, it wasn't that enjoyable to me... at all. That became the trouble I ran into later.

There really wasn't much difference between her pics and reality. But I have had that happen too. I hate it when a woman tries to put on a "good front" and basically lies to you about herself by taking incomplete photos. I'm sure men do the same!
 
  Reply With Quote
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #5  June 30,2009, 3:58am

no stuntman surprises or houdini like disguises for death defying escape

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2009

Where the clouds are like headlines on a new front page sky

Posts: 10,721

See profile

why did you sleep with her if you weren't attracted to her?
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #6  June 30,2009, 4:32am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,737

See profile

When you have everything except physical attraction, all you have is a friend. To go ahead and try to date and sleep with someone that you know you are not attracted to is frankly a bit ......well...... Let it go so you can both find a healthy relationship that includes physical attraction. To continue and waste each other's time is hardly fair.
 
  Reply With Quote
j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #7  June 30,2009, 5:24am
j0hn8andy's Avatar

.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2009

California

Posts: 5,095

See profile

DancingFool wrote :
When you have everything except physical attraction, all you have is a friend. To go ahead and try to date and sleep with someone that you know you are not attracted to is frankly a bit ......well...... Let it go so you can both find a healthy relationship that includes physical attraction. To continue and waste each other's time is hardly fair.

Is a bit distasteful, isn't it? And you wouldn't do that with a "friend" unless you were physically attracted to her.

Face it. She's better off without someone who has to "force" himself on her...
 
  Reply With Quote
avinash is offline avinash Post #8  June 30,2009, 6:23am
avinash's Avatar

is happy.

Quick Study

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 204

See profile

Well you shouldn't have slept with her if you weren't attracted. You should just be honest with the girls, if you match with them emotionally and mentally but not phsyically, tell them the truth, it'll be better for all involved parties.
 
  Reply With Quote
txbubba is offline txbubba Post #9  June 30,2009, 6:44am

is not out of his mind - just out of bullets

Unregistered

Joined: May 2009

30.11°N 94.16°W

Posts: 453

See profile

"picky" is when after a great date, one person makes statements such as " i had a great time with this person however, s/he was too fat / skinny / short / tall / poor / etc"
 
  Reply With Quote
islandrain80 is offline islandrain80 Post #10  June 30,2009, 6:51am
islandrain80's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Feb 2008

Washington

Posts: 484

See profile

niceGuyMakinIt wrote :
I recently had a date with someone that I was not at all physcially attracted to. We had a heart connection and got along intellectually... but that was it. I gave it a chance, but later ran into troubles because there was just simply no physical attraction. Where's the balance? Do we stuff it and suffer for the sake of trying to be the nice guy? Or do we realize that we have to not only be honest to others but also to ourselves?
Sometimes, at least for me, physical attraction grows (or diminishes) when I get to know someone...but at first there has to be some sort of attraction to get a kick start. If there isn't any, move on. Let her find someone who finds her beautiful and treats her genuine. It's not fair to her to let her get the hopes up for someone who thinks they have to "suffer" to be with her.

If you want to be the nice guy, don't string her along.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« What is a "needy" and "clingy" person like? | Ask a Dating Expert | A fine line dating the Boss! »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Complainers txbubba About You 71 September 3,2009 7:06am
I want it all Girl_Anachronism Dating 30 June 16,2009 3:08pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I did everything. And the repairs where sure expensive. Grr!I paid for them too. :-/” –  LadyVee

Join the “Confusing Man (LONG STORY)” discussion

“I think people change their "type" depending on what they think they need at that point in their lives. It's so subjective that it might be best if we all just let someone else choose a mate for us ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Changing your "type"” discussion

“In the end, aren't we all winners?” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Last Post Wins!” discussion

“4: sex um. both our values hold sex for marriage, so the next best thing to do when you are driven by lust, i guess is making out? If sex equals marriage, then if his goal is to have sex with you, ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Confused~ He likes me or He wants sex?” discussion

“You know, profile writers remind me of junior high school. The kids who came into an exam clueless, and just rambled on and on, hoping that in there somewhere(?) might possibly be something that the ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “How much profile do you like to read?” discussion

“Chemical burns when one splashes around in nature are no fun! Tree farming, huh. Tax breaks or love of all things tree... Tax break. (I can make these calls, because I'm on the internetz.) He ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“The standard method is to eliminate alcohol and bread (and any other gassy carbs) from your diet. You can also try saran wrapping your midsection for a few days. I've heard that works but I haven't ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Belly Fat” discussion

“My boyfriend will be meeting my ex-boyfriend for the first time this weekend so I will let you know how it goes. He almost met him awhile ago so I thought about this before. I told my boyfriend that ... ” –  alethea

Join the “Hold on, hold on, hold on!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:31am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0