FranklyDear is offline FranklyDear Post #1  June 29,2009, 6:44am
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Fundamentals:
What do you need to discuss prior to the first meeting?,

Setting: Boundaries, Objectives, Serious, Simple, fun, exciting, Time Limits, Sending wrong signals,

Building Trust, Respect, Foundations, flexibility ,

How to continue or end it respectfully,

Do's & Don'ts,
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #2  June 30,2009, 11:59am
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If you're doing the long distance thing, it's not that different. It's a date...you think you like each other...but you have to meet to know for sure.
Get a hotel room to be safe. Go out and have fun. That's the only way you'll know anything. Then you can start with the complicated stuff.
 
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angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #3  June 30,2009, 12:40pm
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with long distance dating you should discuss if the one doing the travelling can expect any help with the added expenses such as gas, plane tickets and motel room. Helping with these kinds of expenses would be considered the right thing to do.
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #4  June 30,2009, 1:08pm
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hazmat wrote :
If you're doing the long distance thing, it's not that different. It's a date...you think you like each other...but you have to meet to know for sure.
Get a hotel room to be safe. Go out and have fun. That's the only way you'll know anything. Then you can start with the complicated stuff.
I completely agree.

There is no cookie cutter way to handle a long distance relationship. It comes down to what works for the two people involved. I don't feel it is necessary to discuss anything that you would discuss outside of a relationship with someone who lives in the same area as you do, unless you both feel compelled to do so. Otherwise, just allow it to develop as any other relationship would. True, there are challenges that can and will arise in this kind of relationship that may not otherwise come up, but a willingness to openly deal with those challenges on both parts makes them easier to deal with than most would think.

I also agree with what angelofmerci stated if one person will be doing all of the traveling.
 
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CJF is offline CJF Post #5  June 30,2009, 5:04pm
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hazmat wrote :
If you're doing the long distance thing, it's not that different. It's a date...you think you like each other...but you have to meet to know for sure.
Get a hotel room to be safe. Go out and have fun. That's the only way you'll know anything. Then you can start with the complicated stuff.
I have to get a hotel room? I was just going to pitch a tent in your backyard ;-)
 
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MoneyHoney is offline MoneyHoney Post #6  June 30,2009, 5:45pm
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I had a very successful long distance relationship with a guy that I had met at a music festival. We hung around together at the festival, had a late night dinner and drinks afterwards, so when I drove up to see him 2 weeks later it wasn't like it was out first "meet-up." I was nervous about staying with him, but since my parents live in the same city as the new guy, my back-up plan was to stay with them if I got "creeped out." The LDR went well. I was fine with driving 2 1/2 hours to see him, and he preferred cleaning, doing shopping, and cooking for me. He lived in a town that was a lot of fun, and we had such a good time going out and spending time together on the weekend. (Just writing about it makes me kind of teary-eyed.) We were fine seeing each other on the weekends. I liked the freedom it gave me to socialize with my friends during the week, and he loved working out at the gym for a couple of hours after work. It worked out well for us. He never offered me gas money, and I never offered to split dinners and drinks out. It was a lot of fun, and I miss him. He ended up leaving a job that he hated and moved back to Calif. In the end, we had other issues which precluded us from seeing each other after the move to Calif., but I would definitely again consider a guy that lived 2 - 3 hours away, especially in a highly desireable city.
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #7  June 30,2009, 7:21pm
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CJF wrote :
I have to get a hotel room? I was just going to pitch a tent in your backyard ;-)

The pups might take a whiz on your tent...it is nice and shady though.
 
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