oostitch is offline oostitch Post #1  June 28,2009, 4:46pm
oostitch's Avatar

is trying to find happiness

Quick Study

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 77

See profile

I joined eharmony over a month ago and i began communicating with a very nice guy. We decided to meet the very same week we were matched and it went really well. We have so many things in common and we just felt like we had an instant connection. Ever since that first date we have been seeing eachother during the week as well as the weekends. We talked EVERY single day of the week, no exceptions. Suddenly this just completely haulted as of friday. No calls, no texts, no nothing. I sent him a message on saturday to which he never responded. I wrote him an email hoping that he was alright and nothing bad happened and if he did not wish to communicate with me anymore i would be fine with it & i would not continue to call him if that was the choice he made but i've gotten no response and i'm worried about him but i dont want to come off as clingy either. I don't know what to do, i really like this person and it seemed like the feeling was mutual. How long should i wait before i throw in the towel?
 
  Reply With Quote
j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #2  June 29,2009, 5:47pm
j0hn8andy's Avatar

.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2009

California

Posts: 5,095

See profile

You could give it a week or two. Something could have happened. A death in the family, he had to leave town in the middle of the night. A business trip to Tokyo he was assigned at the last minute. I dont know. Or he could have been arrested or in the hospital, or married & his wife found out. But we won't go there yet...

You left a couple messages. I'd give it a couple weeks more, but I wouldn't make any more attempts at contact. He'll get your messages when he gets back (if he hasn't already).
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  June 29,2009, 5:51pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,651

See profile

I agree with j0hn8andy.

Let it be for a couple of weeks. Do you have his office phone? I would call that; if something actually happened, his phone should go to someone else or have a special message indicating he is away.
 
  Reply With Quote
IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #4  June 29,2009, 7:33pm
IcecreamMoon's Avatar

Nothing to see here at all...

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 2,847

See profile

Unless there is good reason for this disappearing act, I would throw in the towel now. This is purely based on experience, but I never had a guy, who was interested in me, just disappear and not return my attempts to communicate. I truly believe that when people want to be together, they find ways to be together, or at least stay in touch.

So even if there is a reason, forget about him for now, and move on. If he later re-appears with a decent explanation, you can then reconsider, based on your circumstances at the time.

Good luck!
 
  Reply With Quote
brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #5  June 29,2009, 7:40pm
brneyedangel's Avatar

would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

northeast Ohio

Posts: 4,590

See profile

IcecreamMoon wrote :
Unless there is good reason for this disappearing act, I would throw in the towel now. This is purely based on experience, but I never had a guy, who was interested in me, just disappear and not return my attempts to communicate. I truly believe that when people want to be together, they find ways to be together, or at least stay in touch.

So even if there is a reason, forget about him for now, and move on. If he later re-appears with a decent explanation, you can then reconsider, based on your circumstances at the time.

Good luck!
I completely agree. Don't put your life on hold; if he isn't considerate enough to find a way to let you know something is happening, then why make that sacrifice? I've been down that road, and in the end I ended up with a huge heartbreak. My mistake, which won't be repeated.
 
  Reply With Quote
pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #6  June 29,2009, 8:10pm
pussinboots's Avatar

is EXTREMELY happy that the Beatles are now on YouTube

Enthusiast

Joined: Mar 2009

Connecticut

Posts: 510

See profile

Do you know Lonestar's music video "No News"? At the least, the video and the lyrics will give you a smile.
 
  Reply With Quote
JoJoBean is offline JoJoBean Post #7  June 29,2009, 8:28pm
JoJoBean's Avatar

wishes she was out in the sunshine.

Quick Study

Joined: Jan 2009

Somewhere in the sierra's

Posts: 173

See profile

Just watched the video on Youtube, Loved it.
 
  Reply With Quote
oostitch is offline oostitch Post #8  June 30,2009, 9:09am
oostitch's Avatar

is trying to find happiness

Quick Study

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 77

See profile

thank you all for your advice. it's been 5 days since i last heard from him and i think i'm gonna take icecreammoons advice and forget about him. i'm just so pissed that i closed so many matches on eharmony that couldve treated me much better than this guy. i even cancelled my membership because i thought after a month a person would know whether or not they like you and i dont like dating more than one person at a time. i think if something wouldve happened he wouldve already let me know. he didnt even have the descency to respond to an email which i find so cowardly and such a big let down. i erased his number so i wouldnt be tempted to contact him so all i have is his email which i dont plan on using again. it's just upsetting for me the way he doesnt even acknowledge my existence after being so persistent.
 
  Reply With Quote
angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #9  June 30,2009, 12:55pm
angelofmerci's Avatar

loves the feel of the wind blowing in his face while riding the curves

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2008

Posts: 1,302

See profile

oostitch,

It seems to me that you knew what you wanted to do before you posted your topic. The two posters who said to move on only validated what you wanted to do. I do not know if you have ever been in the situation where you lost one of your parents or the last parent but I think if you had then you would have realized as one poster mentioned here that is what could have happened to your guy. He could have been just like I was during the days leading up to and after the loss of my mother. I did not think about anyone else during this time. All I did was concentrate on what needed to be done before I had to return to home and work. Even after the normal work day was over when offices were closed I was still busy doing things that had to be done. I seldom sat down for a few minutes before I was up and at it again. Days and nights blurred as I strived to get as much done as I could.

I personally think you may have just thrown someone good into the trash. I hope if and when he contacts you it is how you believe things were rather than how other posters and I think things were. If it is as I have proposed I do not see him giving or wanting to give you a second chance should he discover why you closed him out.
 
  Reply With Quote
oostitch is offline oostitch Post #10  June 30,2009, 6:35pm
oostitch's Avatar

is trying to find happiness

Quick Study

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 77

See profile

i really do appreciate your advice angelofmerci and youre absolutely right about having a family emergency but i seriously think i was the one who was thrown in the trash, not the other way around. i just tend to build walls that come up as fast as they come down for fear of getting hurt which is what i'm feeling at the moment and i hate feeling like this. i wrote him in the email i sent him that i hoped he was well and that i was really worried about him even if he didnt want to talk to me so i think i was the bigger person in this situation. and god forbid someone died or was in an accident in his family. i didnt know what to do when i first posted, i needed to hear different views from different people and yours certainly hit me hard. i honestly dont think i'm the one with the problem though, and if youre correct with your theory then he'll understand where I was coming from as well. i guess if its meant to be it will happen. thankyou so much for giving me much appreciated advice!
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« Practically new to dating and nervous! | Ask a Dating Expert | Don't know where too from here »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Welcome and Tips for eHarmony Advice Newbies! eHA_Admin_Lori Talk to your Community Team 10 February 9,2012 12:07pm
He called me! Also, advice needed. christianlife Dating 18 September 20,2010 9:37am
New Discussion Board System for eHarmony Advice! eharmony Dating 172 July 17,2009 10:02pm
Am I being crazy? Advice needed! crazydaisy Dating 4 June 17,2009 7:10pm
Questions about vasectomies and advice needed. christianlife Dating 10 June 15,2009 6:19am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I did everything. And the repairs where sure expensive. Grr!I paid for them too. :-/” –  LadyVee

Join the “Confusing Man (LONG STORY)” discussion

“I think people change their "type" depending on what they think they need at that point in their lives. It's so subjective that it might be best if we all just let someone else choose a mate for us ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Changing your "type"” discussion

“In the end, aren't we all winners?” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Last Post Wins!” discussion

“4: sex um. both our values hold sex for marriage, so the next best thing to do when you are driven by lust, i guess is making out? If sex equals marriage, then if his goal is to have sex with you, ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Confused~ He likes me or He wants sex?” discussion

“You know, profile writers remind me of junior high school. The kids who came into an exam clueless, and just rambled on and on, hoping that in there somewhere(?) might possibly be something that the ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “How much profile do you like to read?” discussion

“Chemical burns when one splashes around in nature are no fun! Tree farming, huh. Tax breaks or love of all things tree... Tax break. (I can make these calls, because I'm on the internetz.) He ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“The standard method is to eliminate alcohol and bread (and any other gassy carbs) from your diet. You can also try saran wrapping your midsection for a few days. I've heard that works but I haven't ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Belly Fat” discussion

“My boyfriend will be meeting my ex-boyfriend for the first time this weekend so I will let you know how it goes. He almost met him awhile ago so I thought about this before. I told my boyfriend that ... ” –  alethea

Join the “Hold on, hold on, hold on!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:26am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0