Pureenergy is offline Pureenergy Post #1  June 27,2009, 12:01pm
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is happy.

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Recently back into the dating scene and on eharmony. I don't have a problem attracting men, I look younger then I am and get approached by younger guys a lot...

I went through a bad divorce which stretched out over the past 2 years.. I am now optimistic and ready to get back into dating/relationship.

I have a few: questions:

Should I write that I am divorced with a child on my home page introduction about myself on eharmony? I answered honestly in the questions section...but do my matches see that?

I have been out on just a few random dates and wonder when I "disclose" that I'm divorced and have a 4 yr old daughter...?

Is this a big deal to most men?


Thanks!
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  June 27,2009, 12:42pm
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With online dating there is a selection option for single / divorce / widow, and another for child(ren) / no child(ren). Your matches will know your status in these areas. In my opinion, no further information needs to be volunteered.

Your profile should present you as a person with the emotional, achievement, and lifestyle groundwork necessary to prepare you for a romantic relationship. “Ex issues” can indeed impact that readiness, but the way to communicate that is not be stating it, but by conveying in the tone of your profile the aforementioned positive traits.

You could consider giving some limited additional detail if there is something unusual about your life – for instance your child is involved in a sport or other competitive undertaking which consumes substantial time and impacts your availability.

I do think it is a big deal, but other men will not care. The men who find children not acceptable should have their matching options set accordingly; therefore the matches you do receive should be pre-filtered to be willing to evaluate the single mother on a case-by-case basis.

Good luck.
 
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When_I_See_You_Smile is offline When_I_See_You_Smile Post #3  June 27,2009, 1:40pm
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This page is dedicated to the loving memory of my bride, Heather Anne Everts-Grover 1977-2012

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D_Lion wrote :
With online dating there is a selection option for single / divorce / widow, and another for child(ren) / no child(ren). Your matches will know your status in these areas. In my opinion, no further information needs to be volunteered.

Your profile should present you as a person with the emotional, achievement, and lifestyle groundwork necessary to prepare you for a romantic relationship. “Ex issues” can indeed impact that readiness, but the way to communicate that is not be stating it, but by conveying in the tone of your profile the aforementioned positive traits.

You could consider giving some limited additional detail if there is something unusual about your life – for instance your child is involved in a sport or other competitive undertaking which consumes substantial time and impacts your availability.

I do think it is a big deal, but other men will not care. The men who find children not acceptable should have their matching options set accordingly; therefore the matches you do receive should be pre-filtered to be willing to evaluate the single mother on a case-by-case basis.

Good luck.
Great post, D_Lion!

I would just like to add that the open communication step (email), is really a great avenue through which to share a little bit more about your daily life, and what you're looking for. As D_Lion mentioned, your matches have already checked the box that says they're willing to try dating a single parent. Don't worry too much about that part!

I think most matches would welcome a little bit of information about your situation. For example, do you have full or joint custody? Are your kids well-adjusted? What kinds of things do you like to do with them? Be honest, but don't go overboard. Remember that you need to ask him questions about his life as well.

Have fun, and listen to your instincts. Best of luck to you!

WISYS
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #4  June 28,2009, 2:48am
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Yes your being divorced status is important, but not in your profile.Your profile should be about You. Do of course mention early on that you have a kid and that you have been divorced 2 years, but don't go on and on about it. No one wants to listen endlessly about your child or especially about your Ex or messy divorce, that's for friends and family to listen to. Don't inflict this on a date,he's not a lawyer or a therapist, it's a turn-off
 
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