coriglnm is offline coriglnm Post #1  June 25,2009, 4:13pm
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Allirght, so ive been seeing this girl (20y/o) for 2 mo. now. She innitiated the relationship, telling me how much shes liked me and what not. We were co workers. Im 23 and feeling a little more mature but at the same time, i feel like im just a fool sometimes with the things i bring up. She doesnt talk much or show affection all the time like me. I can ask her question after question but her only response is "sure" or " i dunno" or "awsome"....I never get any feed back and that really bothers me. For example. Ive said "hun, i really enjoy being with you" usually youd think the partner would respond with "i enjoy being with you too" or "aww" . She responds with "ohh" or a cute lil face squinting her nose and says nothing. I maybe looking to far into it, but guys need loving and need to be told things like that too sometimes. I know she enjoys being with me, she asks me to come over everynight we get a chance, and we are happy together, physically and mentally (to a point).
I just love talking to her all the time and maybe getting a "hi hunny i miss you" or somethign along those lines would be nice.....i guess give it time? And i guess quit questioning things.....
Any advice for a guy having issues with a girl who obviously likes him but maybe he likes her a little more in a mature way???
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #2  June 25,2009, 6:39pm
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It could be a maturity thing, as you pointed out, or it could be that it takes her a little bit longer to warm up to expressing how she feels. Maybe she doesn't have much experience in relationships. Or, maybe she's just not a very expressive person. Some people are like that, and they are better at showing how they feel rather than saying how they feel.

Obviously she likes you, or she wouldn't want to spend time with you like she does. If this (the actual expression of her feelings) is something you really must have in a relationship, then it's a problem, and you have to ask yourself if it's a deal breaker or not. However, you haven't really said how she responds to you when you are affectionate toward her. Does she seem uncomfortable or does she seem happy with the attention? And what kinds of questions are you asking her? If she's giving you one word answers, then it doesn't sound like you're asking anything that requires more than a one word answer. Have you ever tried to draw an answer out beyond "sure" or "I dunno"?

Sorry to hit you with so many questions, but I'm just trying to give you some ideas and things to think about. I hope it helps you out in some way.

Good luck to you!
 
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coriglnm is offline coriglnm Post #3  June 25,2009, 8:07pm
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Yeah. When we are together, shes not very openin public, but will do the whole holding of the hands and a quick kiss here and there, which im totally fine with. Im not one of those people who will sit out there make out ya know.
Im working overnight tonite and she wrote, i wish you were here, and what not. See the little things like that i enjoy. And when we are together, she does like when im affectionate towards her. And your probably right when it comes to the one word answers. So instead of me always questioning her why she does that or is a certain way (which is sort of rude to begin with) i just make conversation, and steer clear of negative conversation, and in the past few days of doing this, shes responded with much more.... Thanks :-)
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #4  June 26,2009, 3:01am
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Nothing to see here at all...

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Hmmm... I thought men liked us women to be quiet... I'm only joking

I'll try to make this short -
I think it's time you started initiating some affection towards her, not just conversation. She might just be all talked out and craving some intimacy coming from you (and I don't mean that in a sexual way). Try to make her feel special, let your imagination run wild... well, maybe not too wild

ETA: Just to give you another perspective - if the change in her demeanor is too dramatic, she may be going through some personal problems, and may not yet be comfortable enough to discuss them with you. If the wild idea doesn't work, conversation in an intimate environment (not on the phone during work or a quick lunch), with some probing questions thrown in here or there, can never hurt. Just be gentle, polite and tactful.

Good luck!
Last edited by IcecreamMoon; June 26,2009 at 3:09am.
 
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txbubba is offline txbubba Post #5  June 26,2009, 6:02am

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it sounds liike either she's not into you as she though she initially was and is afraid to tell you to buzz off or... she has serious emotional issues
 
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navybluy is offline navybluy Post #6  June 26,2009, 6:22am
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It could be that she is not used to talking about her feelings, but is more comfortable showing it, if you prefer someone that puts her feelings into words then you might want to bring this up with her as it seems as if this is important to you, and as earlier said in this thread, try open-ended questions instead of closed ended ones, this will lead to more conversations that you both can participate actively.

hope this helps, goodluck
 
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angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #7  June 27,2009, 7:37am
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Based on what you say, this girl seems locked into the junior high or high school years where nothing really matters except will she have a date for the weekend. I would move on. You should be able to find someone that can actually carry on an intelligent conversation and respond to you with more than one syllable. Good luck
 
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islandrain80 is offline islandrain80 Post #8  June 28,2009, 7:45am
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coriglnm wrote :
Allirght, so ive been seeing this girl (20y/o) for 2 mo. now. She innitiated the relationship, telling me how much shes liked me and what not. We were co workers. Im 23 and feeling a little more mature but at the same time, i feel like im just a fool sometimes with the things i bring up. She doesnt talk much or show affection all the time like me. I can ask her question after question but her only response is "sure" or " i dunno" or "awsome"....I never get any feed back and that really bothers me. For example. Ive said "hun, i really enjoy being with you" usually youd think the partner would respond with "i enjoy being with you too" or "aww" . She responds with "ohh" or a cute lil face squinting her nose and says nothing. I maybe looking to far into it, but guys need loving and need to be told things like that too sometimes. I know she enjoys being with me, she asks me to come over everynight we get a chance, and we are happy together, physically and mentally (to a point).
I just love talking to her all the time and maybe getting a "hi hunny i miss you" or somethign along those lines would be nice.....i guess give it time? And i guess quit questioning things.....
Any advice for a guy having issues with a girl who obviously likes him but maybe he likes her a little more in a mature way???
Coming from a quiet gal, from my own point of view. Sometimes I'm to caught up in thinking about something else, to talk about the current question asked. I'm more of a thinker then talker. Heck, sometimes I just don't care about the conversation but will toss in a word here and there to appease the other party (that's mostly when talking to other women who want to talk about kids/husbands/makeup/girly stuff).

I'd prefer to be more affectionate then talk. Which of course, has it's downside to. Since I don't talk much, having a serious discussion isn't easy for me.

Only advice I can really give is just keep talking with her. The more you talk, the more she'll open up. Don't pressure her and don't jump into any deep conversations yet (like marriage, kids, buying a house, etcs.) but DO ask questions that make her think.

Now that I think about it, another reason I'm not much of a talker is because when I was growing up, my opinion was always over rode and tossed aside...so I grew up thinking my voice didn't matter. So whatever you do, welcome her opinion.
 
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