Do Opposites Attract?

Do Opposites Attract?

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Do Opposites Attract?


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luciolle is offline luciolle Post #11  January 10,2008, 8:41pm
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My parents were definitely victims of their passion. They were very opposite to each other and their marriage was not very satisfying to say the least. After the divorce, my father remarried with a woman who is much more like him and has been enjoying his life ever since.

In this society where the media bombards us constantly with ideas of romantic love, we tend to look for someone who will complete our imperfect selves instead of working on being more complete on our own before entering any relationship. I believe that we are a whole, not a perfect one but with room for constant improvement.
If someone is too different from us, they may make us feel faulty and inadequate.

A friend with chemistry makes the best partner. : )
 
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Canuck_Duck is offline Canuck_Duck Post #12  January 27,2008, 2:01pm
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Hmmmmm.. I had to think on this a bit. I'm on the fence because I have certain qualities that would fit perfectly into someone elses 'not so great at' list and vice versa is what i'm looking for. For instance i'm creative, a go getter but LOUSY at paperwork.. most of the admin stuff. I am entrepreneurial, but shy.. good at marketting but not so good at the follow up (because its boring) and hope to meet someone more down to earth, grounded then I am whose also driven, focused and fun but is also good at those things Ièm not so great at where we can compliment each others abilities and weak spots. I force myself to do what I hate doing but why not find someone who enjoys doing the things I dislike and allowing myself to do what they may dislike and I love to do. This makes sense to me and seems workable, -- vista is not allowing question marks, or apostrophes today, silly vista-- I believe opposites attract and make wonderful mates if they also have similar values and beliefs.
 
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haruo is offline haruo Post #13  January 30,2008, 4:41pm
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Sure opposites can attract:

There was a guy who went out with a tatooed punk rock girl and he was a jock. The sex was great between the two of them and that is all they did. This doesn't last long for a lasting relationship but opposites did attract.



from Haruo
 
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blueshoe is offline blueshoe Post #14  February 3,2008, 4:32am
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This is exactly proably the reason I still remain single. I've yet to meet a man who shares my faith AND at least 60-70% of my interests. It is not easy but I refuse to settle. More and more I am truly convinced it is a "God thing" when it is done right. Eharmony is definately encouraging me that at least there are a few out there..........
 
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lindasue is offline lindasue Post #15  March 2,2008, 5:23am
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Sarah,44565 wrote :
Interesting article, along those same lines, I think people are more comfortable dating people within their same socio economic status, their own race, or even own culture. I've had matches from different races who will close on me before initial communication and I somehow think it's because we're of a different race (yet we all belong to the human race). Why would people check they're open to dating other races but don't really mean it? I think the examples given in this article are good examples but they barely scratch the surface of what people look for. It doesn't have to even be opposite it could also be that people have a checklist of who they think is their ideal. I don't think the 4 specifics he listed are inclusive enough.
I agree with Sarah. My experience with on-line dating is that I find plenty of men who claimt hat their lists are not "checklists", and who seem to be ideal matche with me--similar likes and dislikes, and yet they are not interested me in because I have too many children (although they say they adore children), I live too far away (they say they are interested in anyone within 25 miles, and I am), or they just don't think we match up (yet accodrding to our profiles, I have more in common with them than I did my husband of 25 years!)... I am convinced that men are not honest with themselves onany datingsite, and I wish there was some way to control for that, but there simply isn't. And I have been told that I have been rejected by some men because I stated that I would dat anyone of any race, and while they are the same race as I am, they cannot abide by my tolerance!
 
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lindasue is offline lindasue Post #16  March 2,2008, 5:36am
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Sarah,44566 wrote :
I don't think your soulmate has to be entirely different from you some differences make for an interesting mix in the relationship, I don't think I'd be happy with an exact duplicate of me either. I'm actually more attracted to a person with a somewhat different personality. I don't think two type A personality types go well together but maybe Type A and b blend well. Differences are good because someone could have traits that are different but at the same time complementary to you and that can strengthen the relationship. Of course it goes without saying that you would want to be similiar on the important values. How you spend money, fidelity how you'd raise your children. You wouldn't want someone who's a spendthrift and gambler when you're not. But then who'd want that? Differences add the spice to a relationship, but like any spice, they are supposed to enhance the dish, not overpower it and ultimately destroy it.
Again, I agree with Sarah. I had a type B husband for 23 years--the last two years, when we were separating and divorcing, he had his Type B secretary who broke up our marriage move in with him, and now mere months after the divorce, is marrying her. I am definitely Type A, but in most regards, he and I share so much more (not to mention 4 children)--religious and political leanings, a love of reading and conversation about current events and science, eductaion and intellect, and we are compatible on social and economic levels. He just pulled the typical male mid-life crisis and went with the younger, single woman who had never been married and presents no challenges to his intellect, or responsibility for home or family, and with whom he cannot have children. How does one select even a like-person when people can change so radically over time? Theonly real difference I ever saw between us was that I was raised to get out the anger and frustration and not let it fester, he was raised to never tell anyone what he really felt, just keep it in and let it go away. It doesn't go away! But how does one know that one difference like that can destroy a relationship? It seems like a complete crap shoot, although I agree that the four items listed matter. Perhaps the list should be longer, but there will always be an exception to the rule.
 
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id1909 is offline id1909 Post #17  April 28,2008, 1:51pm
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carabali is offline carabali Post #18  July 15,2008, 5:04am
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I think that the basic elements of the relationship as explained at the top of this page kind of nip it in the butt, energy,money spending, personal habits, and verbal skills are vital and you may include moral values to the equation as well as principles which in my opinion add stress to any relationship when not understood or accepted. I just met an old high school mate that I haven't seen orheard from in30 years, we hanged in different clicks and knew each other but did not really had a friendship way back when. We have been talking on the phone almost on a daily basis and I've grown very fond of her, the way she thinks and her outlook on life are very similar of mine but she lives in Puerto Rico and I live in Florida. I've asked her if she ever thought about living elsewhere besides PR but she has her elderly parents overthere. I thought once I finished school about the possibility of relocating back to PR so eventough I'm starting to have feelings for her, I don't want to rush anything, but if the conditions were right I would nothesitate to cultivate the friendship and in time take it to the next level. So there can be some differences but they are some basic things that make it or brake it if they are too different.


Ed.[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-cool.gif[/img]
 
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carabali is offline carabali Post #19  July 15,2008, 5:25am
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lindasue,65823 wrote :

Sarah,44565 wrote :
Interesting article, along those same lines, I think people are more comfortable dating people within their same socio economic status, their own race, or even own culture. I've had matches from different races who will close on me before initial communication and I somehow think it's because we're of a different race (yet we all belong to the human race). Why would people check they're open to dating other races but don't really mean it? I think the examples given in this article are good examples but they barely scratch the surface of what people look for. It doesn't have to even be opposite it could also be that people have a checklist of who they think is their ideal. I don't think the 4 specifics he listed are inclusive enough.
I agree with Sarah. My experience with on-line dating is that I find plenty of men who claimt hat their lists are not "checklists", and who seem to be ideal matche with me--similar likes and dislikes, and yet they are not interested me in because I have too many children (although they say they adore children), I live too far away (they say they are interested in anyone within 25 miles, and I am), or they just don't think we match up (yet accodrding to our profiles, I have more in common with them than I did my husband of 25 years!)... I am convinced that men are not honest with themselves onany datingsite, and I wish there was some way to control for that, but there simply isn't. And I have been told that I have been rejected by some men because I stated that I would dat anyone of any race, and while they are the same race as I am, they cannot abide by my tolerance!
Hello there everybody:


Sarah they can not mean it because they have a series of issues andin order to make themselves look normal or acceptable by the society they live in,they have to say that (that they are not prejudiced against any race but we all are to a certain extent right?)but as you found out, they are full of doo doo. I think it is doable but it takes two very strong and well balanced people to make it happen, drama free people I may say. On the other hand LindaSue, they are men as well as many women on this sites who lie and do not really mean what they say. I went to visit two lady friends that I met online and they were not sure about what they wanted once they met me, they thought that I did not mean bussiness when we talked and just because I refused to have sex with a house full of children I was cataloged as weird, well I was and I am looking for a serious relationship still and think that as a christian I should respect my body as well as the body of a woman. I'm not a saint and I'm not preaching such thing but a piece of ass I can get here where I live anytime I want, I would not bother to register to any site to meet a woman and go to wherever to have sex if can walk into any bar in my town and have the same satisfaction you know? Some women are looking for Mr. Right and that it is not real it is and willalways be a fantasy in my book, together, with a partner thatshare the same or similarmoral values, principles and the other elements mentioned on this article,you help build each other up to Mr. and Mrs. Right but it takes two to tango and a lot of love, prayer and work.


later,


Ed[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-cool.gif[/img]
 
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bluehornet is offline bluehornet Post #20  July 17,2008, 2:10pm
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It is true that Opposits do attract(That's human nature)! But for a lasting relationship, the more attributes in common the better!
 
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