Two problems I am unsure on how to present.


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Bdadawg is offline Bdadawg Post #1  June 10,2009, 10:46pm
Bdadawg's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jun 2009

Tremonton, Utah

Posts: 6

See profile

I have two problems with my profile that I don't know how to present. How do I get women to look past these two things to see my other traits?

#1. I can't smile.
I've read through the advice that says post a picture of you smiling, it lets people know you aren't misearble and that you don't have bad teeth. The problem is a dog attack when I was young. In the attached picture you can see the scars on the side of my nose, above my left eyebrow, in my right eyebrow, and a trace of it on my right (in line with my lips). The one on the right is actually a large scar that I "keep hidden" by a little scruff.

#2 My profession.
In my grandma's generation a butcher "was a good catch". In my generation food comes from the store. I do everything from the slaughter to wrapping it in packages. The problem is that it's not something I can really push into the background and wait until someone knows me before really broaching. Doing slaughter also changes the personality and humor (at least mine), as dealing with and administering death makes it less "taboo" and the person a bit more callous.

I think that these are two of the main reasons that I keep getting passed by. It isn't something that I can change, but I am getting frustrated with matches being closed before I can even look at them. I can't really meet women at work as I'm not very presentable (blood on my clothing).

Any advice and/or input would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,

Bryan
Attached Images
File Type: jpg Bryan 020.jpg (96.4 KB, 147 views)
 
  Reply With Quote
lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #2  June 10,2009, 11:13pm
lil_lamb's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Dec 2008

california

Posts: 1,364

See profile

the pic of you with the dog is very cute. it conveys humour. i think that will do.

as regards being a butcher, i think you should consider your occupation in the modern light: you're a professional foodie. say that. it's true. it's less misleading even, unless you're really in it to satisfy neanderthal tendencies. and it expands conversation possibilities.
 
  Reply With Quote
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #3  June 10,2009, 11:20pm

no stuntman surprises or houdini like disguises for death defying escape

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2009

Where the clouds are like headlines on a new front page sky

Posts: 10,721

See profile

hmm. it's phsyically impossible for you to smile, even a little bit? because you aren't a bad looking guy, and chicks dig scars.

as far as your profession, i don't think it matters unless you are matched with a vegan/vegetarian, unless you are presenting it the way you are here. it's hard to tell. i would just say you are a tradesman, and leave it at that.
 
  Reply With Quote
bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #4  June 10,2009, 11:28pm
bravethestorm's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2008

Posts: 1,260

See profile

On photos, I would just suggest presenting yourself in a variety of settings. Your personality generally comes across with clothing, background, etc. It also might be a good idea to make a note of why you aren't smiling somewhere on the profile. There are a lot of people that just don't smile so it's more about addressing the why.

On your job...there are careers that some take note in either a positive or negative way. This would vary by the individual though. For me, I would be more interested in what someone is as a person beyond their career as I believe in a balance of priorities. So maybe if someone asks you what you do...try describing it more casually instead of great detail. If someone is interested...they can ask for the specifics.

Whether eharmony or in person...try looking for someone during your leisure time. Hobbies...grocery stores...sports etc bring people together and most clothing fits the occasion.

Closing on here is just a part of the process. Personally I rather someone close than ignore me and let the match sit there. Just keep looking for the one that responds with a match for your personality. Good luck!
 
  Reply With Quote
tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #5  June 11,2009, 5:40am
tweet37's Avatar

has all the tools and can........satisfy

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2008

New Jersey

Posts: 7,602

See profile

Dude,

I don't see any scars so they can't be that bad. So don't worry about that.

I don't see how being a butcher would be a problem but women may tend to be put off by the slaughter part so leave that part out.

As far as pictures, a couple full length body shots doing something you like would be good, but for gosh sakes, if you're going to give a full size mug shot like that one wear some suntan lotion when you go in the sun ! (j/k).
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #6  June 11,2009, 5:59am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,737

See profile

Your scars are not visible and not a big deal. I suspect that they are much greater in your eyes than in anyone else's.

As far as smiling in photos, etc. personally, if there are one or two photos of a guy where I can see what he looks like including a full body shot, that's good enough for me. Despite all the posts on these boards, a lot of men out there post horrible photos and still get plenty of dates. A lot of women out there are actually pretty tolerant and pretty willing to give a guy a shot even if his photos are not all that.

As for what you do for a living - the only thing about it is be proud of it. In terms of a sense of humor, if you know that you are being callous - you are. This means that you can tone it down. Also, one thing that will definitely turn a woman off is if you are being callous to her in particular and to people around, such as waiters, family members, etc. Again, if you know you are doing it, you can also adjust it. Keep the callous comments to your guy friends and off your dating profile.
 
  Reply With Quote
1passionatefem is offline 1passionatefem Post #7  June 11,2009, 6:17am
1passionatefe…'s Avatar

Dreaming about summer vacation

Pacesetter

Joined: Jul 2008

Pennsylvania

Posts: 301

See profile

Your occupation should not be an issue for anyone unless they are a vegetarian or vegan . If it were not for you I could not enjoy my medium rare steak or chicken!!!! As for the smiling issue, try posing yourself in different positions-try posing with your hand to the side of your face with your head tilted.
 
  Reply With Quote
DDjr is offline DDjr Post #8  June 11,2009, 7:08am
DDjr's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2008

Posts: 848

See profile

CONFIDENCE!

Be proud of what you do and who you are! When you look in the mirror and say, "hey I really like the guy that I'm looking at" that comes through in everything you do! This projected confidence is what attracts women!

Get in front of a mirror and learn to put a happy expression on your face. You are absolutely correct. The big picture you have posted makes you look depressed and will turn women off. A smile hits more than just the mouth. It hits the eyes. Even if you end up with a crooked, goof ball smile, you will look better than you do in your picture here.
 
  Reply With Quote
treatmesweetly is offline treatmesweetly Post #9  June 11,2009, 3:44pm
treatmesweetl…'s Avatar

Veteran

Joined: May 2008

Farmington Hills, MI

Posts: 1,052

See profile

DDjr is right, a smile is more than teeth/mouth. A smile and good nature are in the eyes. Practice in front of a mirror, then have a friend take a couple photos of you (face and full body). You can have a friendly expression without smiling.

Also, being a "butcher" is not a turn-off. Saying that you "slaughter" and "administer death" and describe your clothing as bloody is a turn-off. If you insist on presenting yourself in this callous and abrasive manner, expect to be closed. While most people are carnivores, they don't want to envision blood and gore every time they think of their date. Good luck!
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #10  June 11,2009, 4:04pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,651

See profile

You may be right to assess your success as you have.
[FONT=Calibri]
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Lover (Chemistry w/o Compatibility) Friends (Compatibility w/o Chemistry) | Ask a Dating Expert | Need Advice: Protective/Controlling Older Sister of Girlfriend »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
unsure peaches3395 Ask a Dating Expert 3 June 6,2009 5:26am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I did everything. And the repairs where sure expensive. Grr!I paid for them too. :-/” –  LadyVee

Join the “Confusing Man (LONG STORY)” discussion

“I think people change their "type" depending on what they think they need at that point in their lives. It's so subjective that it might be best if we all just let someone else choose a mate for us ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Changing your "type"” discussion

“In the end, aren't we all winners?” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Last Post Wins!” discussion

“4: sex um. both our values hold sex for marriage, so the next best thing to do when you are driven by lust, i guess is making out? If sex equals marriage, then if his goal is to have sex with you, ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Confused~ He likes me or He wants sex?” discussion

“You know, profile writers remind me of junior high school. The kids who came into an exam clueless, and just rambled on and on, hoping that in there somewhere(?) might possibly be something that the ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “How much profile do you like to read?” discussion

“Chemical burns when one splashes around in nature are no fun! Tree farming, huh. Tax breaks or love of all things tree... Tax break. (I can make these calls, because I'm on the internetz.) He ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “What kind of add you see on this board?” discussion

“The standard method is to eliminate alcohol and bread (and any other gassy carbs) from your diet. You can also try saran wrapping your midsection for a few days. I've heard that works but I haven't ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Belly Fat” discussion

“My boyfriend will be meeting my ex-boyfriend for the first time this weekend so I will let you know how it goes. He almost met him awhile ago so I thought about this before. I told my boyfriend that ... ” –  alethea

Join the “Hold on, hold on, hold on!” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:08am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0