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DontCallMe_IllCallYou DontCallMe_IllCallYou is offline
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4getmenot wrote :
What should he be saying??? I don't think that is a RED FLAG. It's been 2 months and she did not mention how many dates or how often. I don't go around telling people more than "I am very interested" after just "dating" for a couple months.

To the OP, I think what is sort of a RED FLAG is that you 2 spent the night together and NOTHING happened! I would be very frustrated over that. I think you need to have a talk with him like NOW. If you can't talk about it with him then you should not be wasting your time with this person to begin with. COMMUNICATION is the key....always.

Best of luck.

I agree with you on the communication issue. I don't on the first issue. I would assume after two months of dating, the frequency of communication and of time spent together is fairly significant. Again, that is an assumption based on my experience and those experiences of my friends. "I'm interested in you" (note: she didn't say he said "very") is an indication that he is interested in a second, third, maybe fourth date. After that, it should be more along the lines of "we may have something here" type of conversation.

My opinion... to each their own.
- June 9th, 2009, 04:09 pm
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VicBrett VicBrett is offline
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JustAGirl1234,

Well... it may not have occurred to you but...

a) Some guys don't believe in sex before marriage,

b) Some guys don't believe in having sex outside of being engaged, living together, a committed relationship, etc.

c) Some guys don't believe in having sex without a detailed discussion of sexual histories, medical tests, health issues, etc.

d) Some guys don't believe in sex without knowing for sure that a woman is interested,

e) Some guys don't believe in sex without having adequate protection against diseases and pregnancy -- and may not have such protection at hand.

f) Some guys don't believe in sex until they adequately know the woman they are having sex with -- including meeting friends, family, etc.

g) Some guys don't believe in rushing into a sexual relationship.

h) Some guys like special places for dates for their 'first time' with a woman,

etc., etc.

Why haven't you asked him? I wouldn't dream of having sex with a woman without knowing her 'requirements' for having sex. If you haven't discussed most of the above with they guy, I'm not sure why you would assume that a guy is going to have sex with you. Most people consider these to be rather serious issues.
- June 9th, 2009, 04:26 pm
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Oregon_Coast_Guy Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline
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If he didn't make a move, it's because he's not physically attracted to you, or he's a wuss. Tell him to hit the road.
- June 9th, 2009, 04:27 pm
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4getmenot 4getmenot is offline
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Another thing.... maybe he is more conservative? I know that unless I am in a committed, exclusive relationship I don't sleep with the person. That is just me; my personal choice. Either way, regardless, if that is the case I am sure you could respect that or if not then at least you know what is going on. With this said, I go back to COMMUNICATION being the key. You need to talk to him.

Just my $.02
- June 9th, 2009, 04:27 pm
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bigfincat bigfincat is offline
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I don't see any red flags from the information given.

Much like many women like to wait to get to know women first, some men are the same way.

Usually when the woman is up for it, the man involved is up for it as well....so I guess that you ladies are not used to that. It also sounds like you are frustrated by the fact that he won't let you control the pace.

I don't think that it is uncommon for women to wait 2 months or more before getting physical so perhaps that is what he is used to.

Talking would be a good idea. Or tear his clothes off.
- June 9th, 2009, 04:28 pm
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VicBrett wrote :
JustAGirl1234,

Well... it may not have occurred to you but...

a) Some guys don't believe in sex before marriage,

b) Some guys don't believe in having sex outside of being engaged, living together, a committed relationship, etc.

c) Some guys don't believe in having sex without a detailed discussion of sexual histories, medical tests, health issues, etc.

d) Some guys don't believe in sex without knowing for sure that a woman is interested,

e) Some guys don't believe in sex without having adequate protection against diseases and pregnancy -- and may not have such protection at hand.

f) Some guys don't believe in sex until they adequately know the woman they are having sex with -- including meeting friends, family, etc.

g) Some guys don't believe in rushing into a sexual relationship.

h) Some guys like special places for dates for their 'first time' with a woman,
z) Some guys are homosexuals.
- June 9th, 2009, 04:32 pm
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pamcam pamcam is offline
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I'll relate my experience. Shortly after I married my now ex-husband (w/ whom I lived before we married), he informed me that he didn't enjoy intercourse; he also didn't care about my pleasure, was only concerned about his own (as in BJ's), slept on the couch, and was very w/holding, denying, critical, and depriving, in most every area. The daily rejection I felt was painful. Literally, when the honeymoon was over it was over. He didn't have the ability to be intimate on any level or the ability to make a real committment to anything other than his career.

I would be asking the most poignant of questions regarding sex. I learned that if a man says he's not interested in intercourse, he means it--I'd just never heard of any man who wasn't. It's why I call him the EX.
- June 9th, 2009, 05:36 pm
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lindseyk lindseyk is offline
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tweet37 wrote :
z) Some guys are homosexuals.
Simply because they choose not to have sex before marriage? Wow. I know a lot of happily married men who waited until marriage - my dad included.
- June 9th, 2009, 05:43 pm
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Although it is obviously true that some men are homosexuals, the fact that a man chooses not to have sex with a woman whenever presented the opportunity does not necessarily mean that he's homosexual (nor does it mean that he's a "wuss" or unattracted to her). There are many, many other possible explanations, many of which have been mentioned in this thread.

If he's attracted to men instead of women, and wants to have sex with men instead of women, that's another matter. But, there isn't anything in the OP's post that suggests that this is true in his case.
- June 9th, 2009, 05:56 pm
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tumbleweed tumbleweed is offline
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im 49 and am seualy active but ive learned from my exaspeance sex can destoy a relationship if not delt with in the right way, whae i was younger i was more appt to say ya lets do it and not think much about it,,,now this is only my opinion but ive found that some weman use sex to get what they want or to control there men, i for one dont want this kind of woman , so im a bit carful here,, ask any marrage counceler , man or woman and they will tell you the same thing,, weman have sex to to have a relationship and men have a relationship to have sex,, this is an old saying and ive heard it from several councelers while i was married and trying to work things out,i belived my ex thought it was more of a chour than anything else and would offten use sex to get what she wanted, to me this is wrong in a relationship,, sex should be on a 50 50 basis with both envolved,, the last woman i dated wanted sex on the secound date, againt my better judgement and lack fo control i went along and it was great but after that her attitude changed on trying to change me, i told her that this is who i am and you know that befor sex so why are you now trying to make me into something im not,, i realy did like her a lot and think thing could have been great for me as she was everthing i wanted but on the other hand she felt she could use sex to turn me into something i wasnt,,,this is only my opinion and not ment to fit everyone,, i think if you could take all that bull .,.'; out of what serounds sex then it can be great for most people
- June 9th, 2009, 09:42 pm
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