3 months in, she wants to slow down

"kind of likes to be able to do what i want when i want" " and "i know it's selfish but felt a little freaked out about a relationship right now".

So we met during the free communication weekend back in the end of March. It's been great, dating as much as 3 times a week and some weeks 1x .

there's been some tenuous moments recently that i think are related to a couple of things. She left her job of 5 years in October and has not been working since then (She has savings so that has not been a problem). Shes basically been enjoying the time, regrouping and looking for next step in her career. Around March we both found ourselves in the Free Communication at Eharmony, connected, and been great since. We truly get along on more levels than i can write in this post, and we each enjoy each others friends as well (In the past month I've met with her "inner circle" of friends, and her mine.) Apparently i "passed" with flying colors and my friends (who sometimes have better judgement than me) all tell me she's "awesome"

Until a few days ago when she basically said she was feeling a little freaked out as she "kind of likes to be able to do what i want when i want" " and "i know it's selfish but felt a little freaked out about a relationship right now".

She's said in so many words that she also is feeling a little displaced because she hasn't worked full time in over 7 months.

I told her I understand as previous to her my relationships have been really light dating (going back over 4 years) and after nearly 3 months she's actually been the longest continues dating i've had in awhile, and i'm a tad out of practice!

She said by no means does she want to stop seeing me, and after some thought I told her i understand as we started moving pretty fast in the beginning (I spent the night at her house on our first date, no sex but we shared the same bed).

I left it with the ball in her court and said to reach out when she wants to get together. My instinct is just to give her her space right now.

Thought I'd throw it out for the masses and get some feedback. We are both 35...

My questions is though I truly feel that giving her space is the right thing right now, I don't want to lose her as i feel a bit vested after the past 3 months and don't know how to quite go about things at this point.

thx!

Thanks for the replies. I too just took it with a grain of salt and prepared to move on. She then wanted to "talk" and re-iterated that she wants to continue to see me. I told her that's ok and i'll leave it up to her to reach out when she feels like doing so, and we'll take it from there.

Afterwords I still took it as "whatever" and doing my own thing, then i get random emails just to say hi in the middle of the day etc.

Again... i've resolved on doing my own thing and however it plays out is how it is. Balls in her court and i'm cool with it.

“I need some space.”

Really means one of these two options:
• 98% - “I need a new girlfriend.”
• 2% - “I think I might need a new girlfriend, and I need some distance so I can decide for sure.”

This is an interesting sentence. Most healthy relationships already have enough space and alone-time for a person to do their contemplating about how they feel. Many men use this sentence as a break-up strategy, with the idea that once they are away from you, the break-up will be easier for them to execute.

If a man is moving out to get his space, it is virtually assured that he won’t be moving back in. If a man is suggesting that you don’t see each other for a few weeks while he figures out what he wants to do, the chances are good that he’s testing the water with someone else. He may come back, but you’ll need to ask yourself if you really want to be with a man who is so unsure about his desire to be with you.

Thanks for the replies. I too just took it with a grain of salt and prepared to move on. She then wanted to "talk" and re-iterated that she wants to continue to see me. I told her that's ok and i'll leave it up to her to reach out when she feels like doing so, and we'll take it from there.

Afterwords I still took it as "whatever" and doing my own thing, then i get random emails just to say hi in the middle of the day etc.

Again... i've resolved on doing my own thing and however it plays out is how it is. Balls in her court and i'm cool with it.