Ask author Janice Lieberman your dating questions!


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eharmonyadvice is offline eharmonyadvice — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  May 18,2009, 11:29am

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Pose your dating questions to relationship author Janice Lieberman from NBC's The Today Show! Details about her new book are below:

How To Shop For A Husband
A Consumer Guide to Getting a Great Buy on a Guy
Janice Lieberman brings her vast shopping expertise as well as her personal knowledge of the dating marketplace together to tell you how to shop for the most important “purchase” of your life—your spouse. How to Shop for a Husband uses smart shopping principles to formulate rules that will help women select a spouse and “close the deal.”

You can learn more about Janice at Janice Lieberman, and get a copy of her new book at one of these fine online book sellers:

-Amazon.com: Online Shopping for Electronics, Apparel, Computers, Books, DVDs & more
-Barnes*&*Noble - Books, Textbooks, Used Books, DVDs, Music, Toys, Home & Gift
-Borders - Buy Books, DVD Movies & Music CDs Online
-www.indiebound.com
-Books-A-Million Online Bookstore : Buy Discount Books Music Movies Magazines : Booksamillion .com
-Powell's Books - Used, New, and Out of Print - We Buy and Sell
Funny Jokes, Cartoons, Magazine Articles & Inspiring Stories | Reader's Digest
-TODAYshow.com: Matt Lauer, Meredith Vieira, Ann Curry, Al Roker, Natalie Morales - Video, News, Recipes, Health, Pets
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hankm25 is offline hankm25 Post #2  May 18,2009, 3:48pm
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Hi Ms. Leiberman:

I just turned twenty-eight and I've never been in a serious relationship. How much of a red flag is this or should this be to girls? Just so that you know, I'm in PhD program, I lift weights, and practice mixed martial arts. However, while otherwise confident I'm completely shy around girls--especially the attractive ones. I've never really cared before about being in a relationship but I'm afraid that as I get older this will look worse and worse. Thanks for the advice.
 
 
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  May 18,2009, 3:49pm
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Q: When one shops, one presumably spends. How much and in what manner do you advise women to spend?
 
 
Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #4  May 18,2009, 4:47pm
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When shopping for a significant other, how choosy should one be? Should people settle?
 
 
hankm25 is offline hankm25 Post #5  May 18,2009, 7:35pm
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I feel like such a dork; I'm the only one not asking a question about dating in the form of shopping. I feel like this is like jeopardy and I'm not playing along. So, let me rephrase the question Alex: For a woman who is shopping around for a man is a man my age not in a relationship considered damaged goods? LOL
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Doctora2012 is offline Doctora2012 Post #6  May 18,2009, 11:34pm
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I've been dating a great guy for the past 6 months, but we haven't officially established a relationship. I'm 31 and he's 26. At this stage of my life, I'd like to be in a committed relationship but I'm not sure whether he is. I wouldn't like to ask him because I don't want to push him away. I met his family last weekend, and they're great. He and I simply haven't talked about a serious relationship or a future together. I think 6 months may be too early to talk about these things, or is it too early?

How much longer do you think I should invest in this dating relationship?

I tried dating someone else recently while dating the guy I'm currently seeing, and felt guilty. I realized then that I really can't see two people at once (primarily because I think I already have feelings for the guy I'm currently seeing). I simply don't want to get hurt, and thought that dating others while seeing my current guy would help keep me from falling for him...which is already the case.

Thoughts? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
 
 
beautifulgenius is offline beautifulgenius Post #7  May 18,2009, 11:51pm
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I , like the others, have a problem. I am afraid of getting close in a present relationship because of a distance problem that we have. Everything else seems to be going along great, except that I feel like I can't feel committed to someone who is a long ways away. He lives in the states and I live in Canada. We are exclusive to one another, but it's like, I don't know how much longer I can keep up the messages and texts without seeing him. Am I being realistic or just fussy?? And I am also worried that once we do meet, that the next step is going to be for someone to move. Help, I need some advice. Thanx
 
 
Janice_Lieberman is offline Janice_Lieberman Post #8  May 19,2009, 2:29pm
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hankm25 wrote :
Hi Ms. Leiberman:

I just turned twenty-eight and I've never been in a serious relationship. How much of a red flag is this or should this be to girls? Just so that you know, I'm in PhD program, I lift weights, and practice mixed martial arts. However, while otherwise confident I'm completely shy around girls--especially the attractive ones. I've never really cared before about being in a relationship but I'm afraid that as I get older this will look worse and worse. Thanks for the advice.

Hi there. Being 28 and never in a serious relationship doesn't worry me too much, but two things you mention in your note do make me wonder. You ask if your lack of previous relationships will be a "red flag to girls" and you cite your fear that "this will look worse and worse." My concern is that YOU don't seem to want a committed relationship--you are only concerned with how things look to women. I think you may want to ask yourself: am I afraid of getting into a relationship for some reason? As I say in my book, "How to Shop for a Husband", sometimes you have to ask yourself whether or not you are getting in your own way, or don't really want a relationship. It seems to me that this might be the case for you. Twenty-eight is still young for a man, but if you are concerned enough to write to me, it might be time to talk to a therapist and see if you have negative feelings about committed relationships.
 
 
Janice_Lieberman is offline Janice_Lieberman Post #9  May 19,2009, 2:33pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Q: When one shops, one presumably spends. How much and in what manner do you advise women to spend?

In these trying times, we all need to be careful about how we spend! In my book, I get into this in detail, but the bottom line is this: spend for quality-- buy a guy who is the equivalent of a Little Black Dress. By this I mean look for good values and not superficial characteristics. Find a guy who is good to his family, who wants a future with you, who shares many similar interests with you. Forget those hot, trendy guys who look too good to be true. Inevitably, they are.
 
 
Janice_Lieberman is offline Janice_Lieberman Post #10  May 19,2009, 2:33pm
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Mr_Right wrote :
When shopping for a significant other, how choosy should one be? Should people settle?
We say never settle, but do learn to compromise. Confused? What this means is that you should be choosy about the stuff that matters--good values, stability, an education, common interests--and not the stuff that doesn't matter. I think pickiness has become an epidemic in our society. I interviewed girls who wouldn't date a guy because they didn't like his shoes or the music on his iPod. Frankly, that's nuts! Shopping for a spouse is like shopping for just about anything else: you need to look for "good guts" and not fall for the packaging.
 
 
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